my daughter is way too attached or is it me, I can't bare being away from her more than I have to..

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Renae - posted on 11/24/2009

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From a psychological development point of view, there is no such thing as a child being "too" attached to their mother provided the attachment is loving and healthy. Secure attachment builds confidence in little ones and gives them the encouragement and confidence to learn, explore and develop. Although, it is possible that if this attachment from your end is causing you anxiety, then your daughter is picking up on that and it is making her feel anxious also. This is not good as this is teaching her that being away from you is a scary, bad thing. It is normal to miss her when you are apart and to want to be with her, but not to the point that you feel stressed about it and can't stand being apart. Could you perhaps wean yourself into spending a little time apart? Is there someone you trust to babysit for even a little while now and then while you do something for yourself (go for coffee, get nails done, aerobics class, whatever will help pass the time away)? If you do it often enough maybe it will get easier. I think you should do some self-reflecting and remember to put her interests first, is it you that needs to be with her or her that needs you? Having said all of that, as long as you are not making your daughter stressed or anxious, she is your baby and you are allowed to want to be with her and its entirely likely that you are not causing anyone any harm.

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