my five year old has started getting violent what do i do???

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Kate CP - posted on 05/02/2009

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Is it your 8 year old boy or your 5 year old daughter who is getting violent? Or is it another child? And when you say "violent", what does that mean? Does he hit instead of saying "I'm angry" or push children to get his way? What have the teachers said?

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The best thing to do is give him time out. He needs time to assess his own feelings. It is important to talk to him about why he is acting this way. Let him know that he needs to use his words in order to communicate not his fists. I know this sounds a little too "Dr. Phil" but it really is important.

This is something that you need to do on a regular basis. If you have to put him in time out 20 times in one day, do it. Children need consistancy, especially if things are changing around them. Make sure that you are stern but not mean. Keep your cool and be understanding that he is having a hard time. And if it is happening at school, talk with the teachers about a plan of action. It is important that you are all doing the same thing. I hope that it all works out for you.

Amy - posted on 04/29/2009

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He get violent every where mostly at school. He doesn't care who it is towards.Yes I was just Dx with ms and my father past last year on Mothers day. But he has been like this it just keep getting wost.

Kelly - posted on 02/01/2009

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Oops, I just realized it wasn't your son you were talking about, it was your daughter. Teach me not to assume! Oh well, I guess the only point I was trying to make is, there is a difference between them being violent because they are emulating something from t.v., like a superhero, and showing violence due to uncontrolled anger. If it is coming from rage, I would try to get some help with this, because it may not be something they can really control on their own, and punishing them won't really help matters. If it is just copying something from t.v. or a movie, that is easier for you to avoid. You can explain to a 5-year-old that that behavior is not nice, and hurts others, and will get them in trouble in school, so you think it would be best not to watch those shows/movies/whatever. Kids that age are sometimes more reasonable than you'd think. I used to teach preschool, and we did have a couple that had rage issues, and that does require more professional help, as I said.

Kelly - posted on 02/01/2009

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I really believe a good bit of the violence little boys show (and let's face it, they really are just born different than girls), does come from the things they see on t.v. Not saying that is what is going on with your son, but I am around children a lot (not just my own), and little boys are so impressed with Transformers, and Ninja Turtles, and professional wrestling, and so many things like this that are obviously from television. Maybe, if he is one to watch a lot of t.v., this could be where some of it comes from. Just a thought.

Kathy - posted on 02/01/2009

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When is your child getting violent? Towards who? Are there any major changes in your life?

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