my friend has 4 kids.. all with health issue's and behavour issue's please leave a comment !

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Breezy - posted on 02/26/2010

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I have to put in my 2 cents worth. I have 4 boys all under 4, 3 of my 4 have had serious health issues, 2 of them in the last year. I will never admit to being perfect with how I've chose to handle their behavior. (Boys will be boys) However, best advice to tell her,
"love them enough to disipline them" Disipline means 'to teach'.
Also, she may just have to pick her battles if some of the issues are mental... For instance if we go out in the summer and my son wants to go outside without pants (in a diaper) and snow boots, I have to pick the battle of him wearing pants, and give up on the snowboots. No mother has ever been perfect, give her a hug when she needs it, she might be feeling less than perfect of a mother and needs some support.

Jessica - posted on 02/26/2010

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Having alot of children of my own, being around alot of children and having a child with health issues and behaivor (has adhd, odd and is not medicated). I have noticed and this is a generalization not true in every single case. Alot of times it's the parenting, not bad parent just the parent ways versus the childrens ways. And when you do have children with health issues you feel bad espically when they are little and let things slide, feel bad so give them syuff or just don't disclipne because they are in pain or at hospital for treatment. Then they turn 6 and it's not the same and no you have problems, no so much an easy fix but can be done. Really have her or you watch suppernanny, the straightfaced on their level this is buisness no excuses or chances time out follow through explaining disclipine really does work but takes patience. Important here mostly is to be on their eye level follow through with punishment make the punishment clear before they get into trouble, because they will right away, to see if the punishment will stand and no yelling firm low voice but no yelling no one likes it. If she can follow a disclipine routine like this I bet they will have better behavior, it will take a little bit, they will act out to see if she will continue to follow through or give up. But it can be done dose work for all kids even the "special" ones. I have one he does very well at home and school, does have some bad days not many does get his punishment but we do not need to medicate because we can control it through disclipine

Jane - posted on 02/26/2010

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Sometimes parents give special treatment or let their kids get away with more because they have health issues & the parents feel bad or guilty about that. Parents need to be just as consistant with them as if their children where completely healthy. She maybe needs a routine for all them & consistant discipline that applies to all of them. Maybe a list of rules & what they are expected to do. With younger kids you can do something like putting stars on a chart for every good behavior & when they earn how ever many stars they get something special or get to do something they want to do. This method can work with marbles in a jar, pennies in a bank ect. If the kids do something wrong they get something taken away; TV, computer, play time, video games, friends. What ever is important to them but to be sure they know why it's getting taken away & maybe have them write or explain (depending on how old) why it was wrong to mom or dad. There are so many different methods she can use but the key is to be consistant with the kids no matter what method & to have some kind of routine or schedule everyday that the kids can depend on. It'll take a while to get the kids to get the point but it might be worth all the work in the end.

Patricia - posted on 02/26/2010

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she didnt realise they had behavour issues when they were younger they all have different health issue's.

Gillian - posted on 02/26/2010

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I have a child with special needs but I dont tolerate bad behaviour just because he has 'issues' Being consistant and having a routine is a huge key. Diet maybe she could cut out certain triggers and yes medication could help. Id have stopped after the 2nd child lol

Tarsha - posted on 02/26/2010

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hello, i have 4 boys and i know how hard it can be (mine are healthy and no behavour problems).....are they all boys? I know my boys are hard to control at times but they are usually well behaved. I think maybe she has lost some control over them and needs to get that back and they need to be punished for putting holes into walls that is not on, really kids will be kids and all we can do is direct them and teach them the right way. I find routine works wonders school nights my boys are bathed and feed by 6.30 and relax to 7.30 bed time...maybe she needs to take things away from the children when they dont listen or not give them treats and sometimes diet can play a part in childrens behaviour. But believe me its really hard and you always got to be telling and nagging (lol) but these days i believe children get too much, its hard to bring children up these days..i like to think my boys have good manners are well behaved and are healthy and happy..please support your friend and dont judge..everyone has different ways of bringing up children and maybe what you think is o.k another mum might not think its good..i wish ur friend the best and im sure shes trying her best especially since her children have health problems.. :)

Patricia - posted on 02/26/2010

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too true with the attention thing. the oldest has A.D.D, attatchment disorder, O.D.D, she finds it really hard disapline wise im really looking for some answer's for her? lol any idea's

Julie - posted on 02/26/2010

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Has she had them checked for A.D.H.D . check out this web site www.netdoctor.co.uk/adhd/indepthlookatsymptoms.htm it could also be they are all fighting for there mums attention as there is 4 of them the more they play up the more attention they get from there mum

Patricia - posted on 02/26/2010

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they put holes in walls dont listen to there mother, they dont understand the danger's of some thing's..

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