My husband has been caught literaly red handed sexting, please help!!

Ariella - posted on 09/08/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My husband is addicted to porn! I had no idea that it was a serious problem unitl i caught him a couple of times red handed. The red flag for me was when i realized that he does his thing for atleast 4-6 hrs back when i was prego with our 1st baby! Finally I became so jealous of the computer, that everyytime he is on it, I assume the worst! Right before the baby was born I caught him in his birthday suit, again, on this darn computer. He finally told me that he was not just looking, he was communicating with these women, taking pics of eachothers body parts and sextingg. I feel like he has been cheating! On valentine's day of this year, i found 2 pics of himself showing his erect penis! I felt like i was stabbed in the heart and kicked in the stomach at the same time! This has been going on since 2009. I made him tell me and show me everything. He did! I never thought that the man ive built my life with, had 3 children with, could knowingly behave in such a cold manor, to lie to me , minimize, justify.... Words cant describe how bad i feel. I chose to work it out under the ultimatum of leaving him and breaking up our family if he does it ever again.
Now i cant even love him because if he becomes emotionally unavailable, i become resentful.
There is so much more that i want for my family and i feel guilty as sin because i dont feekl
please help, im so desperate, ive even thought of ending my life cause of the pain. We went to counseling, but i need to feel loved and related to. i just want to forget everthing ive read or caught him doing.
sincerely
confused

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