My husband want more kids

Julissa - posted on 10/28/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband want more kids not now but in five years from now. We have two beautiful girls ages 3 & 5 and I'm happy with just two girls. so I spoke with my husband about getting my tubes tied. I told him that I didn't want to take birth control all my life and that I didn't want to have no more baby's. I'm 27yld and I just want to focuses on raising my two little girl and going back to work and getting my body back in shape. but he keeps on telling me no,no,no I want two more kids or just one baby boy.. what can I do about this? should I still get my tubes tied or not? HELP!!

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Brandi - posted on 10/28/2009

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I would suggest that you go to your obgyn and ask for the Mirena IUD. It lasts for five years (so no remembering to be on the pill). Then I would tell your husband that right now you are very against any more babies, but suggest that you revisit the issue in maybe a year or two. If you still disagree, then perhaps it wouldnt be a bad idea to make an appt. with a therapist or counselor to help you two come to some kind of compromise. My husband and i have discussed the same topic A LOT. We always seem to be on different pages. I don't want any more, but then he says well maybe. then I think maybe, and he says NO WAY. Our agreement is that if we BOTH dont want a baby no more babies. Anyway, it's really hard to plan life out five years ahead, who knows in a year or so when your youngest is in school and you both have more free time together, he might see that the kids you have are enough. Or you might see that you feel a little empty with both kids out of the house and want to have just one more. Don't set anything in stone, now. Like i said revisit it in a couple of years or whatever and see where you are then. and the Mirena is as effective as getting your tubes tied and there is no chance that you make a mistake wearing it. the dr. puts it in, you get to live your life normally. It can be taken out any time from the day you put it in until five years from the day you put it in. In five years, you can have another one reinserted the same visit you have the old one taken out. Good luck. Also, if it's a boy he wants, you might consider adoption in a few years. after all you don't get to pick and what if you get another girl?

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Caryn - posted on 10/29/2009

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I agree with the suggestions from both Jessica and Brandi. At our house its an opposite probelm, we have 3 kids and I have days where I REALLY want just 1 more but DH is 100% opposed. Our kids are all still young (5,3,13mo) and if we do have another it won't be until my youngest is around age 3 so not anytime soon.

Right now DH and I are talking and exploring the option of foster care to see if that would be something we'd be interested in.

Jessica - posted on 10/28/2009

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Julissa, i suspect getting your tubes tied "behind his back" would cause more problems then having another child... the only thing that can help you two get on the same page is good communication and understanding. I know how you feel as far as wanting to do you now that your girls are not babies anymore...and it sounds like he wants to try for that boy! Im a christian woman, so my advice would be to pray and wait on God to answer.... God Bless!

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