My marriage is over...

Angie - posted on 07/07/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have been married for four years (second marriage) to a man that has changed his mind at least 12 times about being married to me.

We usually have a great time together, he is very tender and sweet most of the time. Usually within 30-60 days, he gets "weird" and I can tell his attitude towards me is changing. Then, he says he is in love with me, I am the love of his life, our marriage is from above, etc. BUT he believes that we will never be long term.

As you can imagine this is very confusing for me. Then, we seperate, months go by and he "misses me" so much and wants our marriage to work.

He is a habitual liar. He lies about small things as well as large things. It's almost like breathing for him. He suffers from anxiety and panic attacks and displays very strange behavior at times.

He has taken things from me when he has left as well as my son. I have gotten the things back and forgiven him but I can't trust him. All of my possessions are in storage in another city, mainly because I don't trust him.

He works off and on, contract work (IT) and often times is out of work. When that happens he pawns items. He has no possessions to mention, the rent house he lives in has a matress on the floor in the living room, a tv, and a chair the neighbors gave him. His credit is the worse credit possible. There is a lien on his truck. He has no savings.

He has two children and pays child support off and on. His 12 year old daughter has serious mental issues and was put on medication for wanting to kill herself and her mother.

He is 46 years old and honestly not too much to look at. I have been told by everyone, and I mean everyone that if I hadn't met him shortly after I lost my precious mother, I wouldn't have given him the time of day.

To say he is a smooth talker is an understatement.

So why is it hard for me to let this go? I feel like a failure to have another marriage fail. My attitude is, I married him so I am supposed to do whatever it takes to make it work. But...I also recognize that every time he does this to me is is a form of abuse.

Thank You...

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Michelle - posted on 07/07/2013

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You don't have to stay married to him. I made the same mistake of telling myself that I took my marriage vows seriously with my 1st husband. It took me a long time to leave but it was the best thing myself and my children.

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Jodi - posted on 07/08/2013

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Have you considered some counselling? Clearly your marriage is not something to hang onto, he is playing with you. I think if you sought some counselling, this would help you analyse the relationship for what it is and accept the inevitable.

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