My Mom

Sharon - posted on 01/29/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

241

28

25

We went over Mom's house to have a playdate with the neighboor kids;they where fine most of the time except a few grabs and pushe's they where 3 boys, the ages wher 5, 4, 3. My guy the four year old had a little meltdown and my Mom called him a baby and cry baby in front of the other kids. Then there Mom comes over and she said this is how he acts at times a little fit. I spent my lifetime listening to my parents verbal abusing me in there own way, I'm 42 yrs. old I have the lowest self-esteem for someone my age. There are prbably so much I could, do, but chose not to because I'm afraid I'll fail or something! I'm sorry my child isn't a perfect angel, but that's life! Part of it is prbably my fault. I do the best I can at least I think so! So, she was treating my son like that so I got up and left!What can you do?

7 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

You did the right thing by leaving. Perhaps you need to have a discussion with your mother and explain that in your home you do not use those kinds of words. She may fight you and if she does then do exactly what you did. If she does it again, LEAVE. Tell your child that "they are loved and wonderful and that sometimes people say mean things, but that is not a true indication of the kind of person you (to the child) are! I love you and will always love you, etc."

Sharon - posted on 01/29/2010

241

28

25

Thank you all for your support and encouragement! I will try and talk to my Mom, I've mentioned it before, but she seemed to just blow it off. I do not want my son to become what I've become! Thanks again, at least I'm not alone.

Andrea - posted on 01/29/2010

81

10

18

You are his mom, and first of all you are in charge of correcting and disciplining your child, so make sure you do. You need to let your mother know that calling your child, her grandson, names is not acceptable and you wont allow it. Let her know privately at first and if she does it, immediatly correct her. When she says to your son "cry baby," jump in and say " don't talk to my son that way please' - and if neccesary you need to jump in, also, and correct your son if he is throwing a fit and behaving inappropriatly.
As for you, the past is the past, nothing you can do to change it, but you can have faith in your self as a mother to do was is right for your children. You are the one that protects them, you are the one that disciplines them, and you are the one that will love them no matter what.

Rachel - posted on 01/29/2010

66

19

8

hey your son IS the perfect angel!!! dont you think their would be something wrong with him if he didnt cry or get emotional? This is what children do! I think you need to have a talk with mom and let her know the boundaries if she wants to be around you and your son. its a hard choice to make when it comes to family and especially parents, but your children come first! And you getting up and leaving makes you a good parent in my book! You cant allow anyone to treat your child that way, and after how you feel over her verbal abuse, you dont want your son to look down on himself in the future over grandmas verbal abuse!!! I wouldnt totally kick her to the curb yet, give her a chance AFTER youve had a sit down with her and put down your boundaries of this is how your raising your child and it is your choice to raise him your way...if she cant get it after that, then maybe it is time to kick mom to the curb until she can get it! and hey! You have your whole life, and your sons whole life ahead of you, dont waste time being afraid and having low self confidence for unimportant reasons like that...sometimes they may seem important, but they only are if you allow them to be! ;)

[deleted account]

I just want to say how badly I feel for you...... I couldn't imagine bein in your situation! I'm blessed with an amazing family as well as wonderful in-laws and although they might not always agree with my decisions they're very supportive! I don't blame you at all for leaving..... that's not a healthy environment for you or your son! GOOD JOB! Have you ever talked to your mom and explained your side? Maybe it will help, at least HOPEFULLY open the lines of communication??!! Good luck, take care

Mandy - posted on 01/29/2010

574

18

105

i think i would have left aswell!



no one has the right to talk to your son like that, no matter how big the tantrum. it doesnt help.

[deleted account]

i can honestly say that I can relate. What your mother said to your son in my opinion is wrong. He is only 4. He is expressing himself the way he knows how. What I can tell you to say to your mother is, the next time she says something to your son that you do not like is flat out tell her to not talk to your son like that. That you do not do it and neither will she. it may cause a huge argument but he is your child not hers. I have had a very bad experience wih my mother in the last month and I confronted her on it. It was a very extreme accusation and not something I could just let go and act like it didn't happen.

The only thing I can tell you to do is confront your mother about it. Do not allow her to do to your son what she did to you. It will make you feel a lot better to stand up to her finally.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms