My mother in law that lives with us and her dog!

Ashley - posted on 04/08/2013 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My husband and I just purchased our first home in November. We have 2 boys, one is almost 2 and the other is 4 months old. My mother in law lives with us because she can not afford to live on her own. Ever since we bought the house her dog has been urinating and pooping on the carpet! No matter how many times we tell her the proper way to clean the carpet she will not clean it correctly. She wipes up the pee with a paper towel and that's it. So I end up cleaning up the dog mess. How do I deal with this issue? My husband keeps telling me that we will get the fence fixed and the dog can use a doggy door. As of right now she only lets the dog out on a leash 2 times a day. I don't have time to take her dog out nor should I have too considering I have 2 kiddos to take care of. Help!!

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AnnMarie - posted on 04/17/2013

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Maybe the best way to approach it would be to ask her what she would do if this was her house and your were living with her and the kids made messes all over and got juice stains on her carpet and your and you're husband didn't do anything about it? Also explain to her how the baby will be crawling soon and this is a real health hazard for him.and seriously what if he ate dog poop? How would that make her feel? Unfortunately she should have more respect for your home. But maybe turning the tables will make her see in it a different light. And maybe she'll think about how her grandson will be crawling in dog pee and she'll get her act together.

Chayme - posted on 04/16/2013

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I would keep the dog gated in the kitchen where there is hard floors. You can train the dog but it will take time. I lived with a dog that bit and jumped and peed everywhere. I had no love for the dog so I was firm and put her on the porch every time she was bad. It didn't take long to teach that old dog new tricks. and once she was trained I learned to love her. but I never let her get away with peeing on the floor or biting.

Tammy - posted on 04/15/2013

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Since your husband doesn't seem to get around to fix the fence, why don't you try doing it yourself or hire someone to do it?
Other than getting rid of the dog and/or the mother-in-law and keep the peace in your house, I suggest that you just grin and bare it.
I myself have a cat that won't use litter box and I love her dearly, so I just clean up the messes. My own husband is either oblivious to the issue, or just won't clean, but I love him dearly too and I continue to clean the cat messes, despite it all. And I have a household, kids and other cats to take care of too!

Kristin - posted on 04/13/2013

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Personally, I would say the dog either gets trained properly or it has got to go. Then present her with a list of numbers for carpet cleaners and let her know that SHE will be paying for it. I would also include a list of dog trainers in the area for her to contact about training her dog.

I would also say you should talk to your husband first. You and your husband do need to present a united front on this. If he wants to talk to her privately about this first, that's fine. Give them a deadline for improvement. But, this can turn into a health hazard and is really just gross.

Good luck.

Danielle - posted on 04/13/2013

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You should sit down with your husband and your MIL, and make a schedule.
Make sure your husband agrees with you as you all sit down, so you and your husband are approaching this situation as a united front. You don't want your MIL to think that this is only a problem you are having, and that you are somehow "Brainwashing" her son against her.
Let her know that for the safety of the toddler, and the baby, that the urinating must be under control in a month. The month will allow her the time to train and change her habits.
Tell her, without proper cleaning, the ammonia and bacteria in dog urine and poop can be dangerous for a small child to breath in. Also let her know there is a high risk of the toddler finding these messes before they are cleaned. Remind her that you are not responsible for the animal, and it is not very considerate that she doesn't take the time to clean properly when the dog has accidents.
Make a schedule for her and have an egg timer to go off every two hours to remind her to take the dog out to pee. It will help train the dog where is acceptable to discard his waste, and get your MIL into a routine where she is accountable for her animal.
Also discuss that the next day your husband has off from work that the family does a massive clean. Rent a steam cleaner, and other ammonia blocking agents and do a massive clean on the floor. The animal may be discarding its waste if there are slight traces left of the carpet.. Most animals mark their territory, and if there is a feeble attempt to clean it up then they may remark the spot to show dominance.
This way, you are starting fresh!
Have everyone on the same page with the expectation of your MIL, and of the animal. If she refused to comply then let her know that unfortunately she will have to find another home for the dog (and ultimately for herself if she refuses to get rid of the dog).

14 Comments

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Aalia - posted on 12/09/2014

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Your mother-in-law is after all the mother of your husband. Half as much your own mother. Make her understand your plight with the dog. And get the dog to a dog-house elsewhere. She can go and visit it when she wants, while continuing living with you all. That ways she'd be able to meet the dog occasionally, and live with you all. She's come of age. I'm sure she can't take care of the dog so well herself, as you mentioned she just wipes the pee away. I think in no time she'll appreciate your decision of sending the dog to place where it's being taken care of. After all, the dog in the house is nothing but filthy and unhygienic! Hate their hair blowing around everywhere, on the floor, in the kitchen, in our food, in our wind pipes.. Yuck! Their pee smell lingering around the house, and the most irritating stale air bad breath kind of fragrance coming out of your 'home'!

Ashley - posted on 04/18/2013

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Here's an update on this situation! My mother in law now takes her dog out 3 times a day and when her dog is in the house, she stays in my mother in laws bedroom. This weekend we are getting the carpets steam cleaned! Thank you everyone for all of the advice, I really appreciate it. It's tough being a stay at home mom dealing with this issue. Hopefully, when my husband and I have some extra time this week we can fix that fence! Thank y'all!

Jess - posted on 04/14/2013

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I would simply suggest you get the fence fixed so the dog can use a doggy door. Everyone's a winner then !

Jodi - posted on 04/13/2013

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Your house, your rules. Abide by them or go elsewhere. Time to get that message across.

Sally - posted on 04/12/2013

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If she can't take proper care of her pets, she doesn't deserve them. You are not her mother and should not be taking care of her as if you were. Leaving that on the floor places your children's health at risk. Your children's health is more important than her feelings. If she wants to live in your house, she needs to follow your rules. Your husband needs to stop complaining at her and take care of his family. If that means kicking her out, you'll feel bad, but it has to be done.
Good luck

Brandy - posted on 04/12/2013

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I'd tell her to properly care for the dog or it/ her can go. It is YOUR home and YOUR kids at risk. You are letting her live with you to help her out, not the other way around. I have family that is living with me and my brother has a dog (Ace) who has saver separation anxiety. We have tried several quality training facilities, different types of crates, and several different types of prescription sedatives, we've also tried to wear him out before we leave, to no avail. My brother respects my rule that Ace is not allowed here unless he is here. So he will either take him to my parents for the day or take him to work with him.

Michelle - posted on 04/12/2013

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Personally, I'd put my foot down and say that the next mess is the dog's last mess. But that is me. I know its her companion, but the children need to come first, and if she cares more about the dog then their health that is her issue. If you don't put your foot down now she will continue to run all over you. Your husband should bback you as its his job to since he left home to be a man and took you as his wife.

Ashley - posted on 04/08/2013

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I have no problem leaving the dog outside lol however that's her companion, her best friend. She refuses to get a cage for it and sleeps with the dog. I'm just so stuck on what to do! I don't want my kids around the dog mess, my husband complains to her all the time and nothing changes ):

Michelle - posted on 04/08/2013

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Get that fence fixed and leave the dog outside. Let her know that if she can't clean up after her dog then it will be outside. Or keep it in a room that hasn't got carpet.

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