my parents in law

Cleaver - posted on 02/15/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my in laws took their other grand-kids to Florida with them and aren't planning to take my kids anywhere. i am not sure if i should be upset they did talk to my husband about it and he said no, but its not just that they spend a lot more money on the other grand-kids, and the only things they get my kids is on special occasions and its not because they have no idea what my sons like my 2YO if obsessed with anything train and they know this the other is 4 months old so doesn't really like much yet. my son hasn't noticed yet but what do i do when they do, it was a little the same with me growing up my step fathers parents got and did more for their other grand-kids them us (and we were more thankful) and that's step grandparents not biological so i know how they will feel. and again its not just money they spend more time with the other 2 they babysit all the time they go to the zoo with them have them over a lot more. my husband doesn't think its a big deal but as they get older they'll notice a lot about his family.
i can give examples when we go over my toddler plays, colors, gives everyone hugs, but my neice and nephew (2 and 5) both have ipads and will sit there and play with them while my toddler wants to play with them. when hes at that age hell want one too and we cant afford it. when i want my 2yo to sit calmly i get him to color or do a puzzle not give him a 500$ electronic device. i know this is how itll always be (they like living it up on credit we like living within our means) i just dont know what i should do this did help though

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Cleaver - posted on 02/16/2013

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5 and 2 their youngest is days younger then my oldest i get that they spend more time with my sons cousins they live minutes away were an hour away. and they come they do when they come and almost always take us out when they come i dont know maybe it bothers me because my SIL makes more money then us and they dont like that i buy pre loved things.

Liz - posted on 02/16/2013

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Let me just start off by saying that I DO NOT agree with your parents-in-law, but how old are the other grandkids? It is easier to do many things once the kids are older (like taking a trip to Florida!) However, I think they should maybe do something a little more small scale (at least) with your kids. And when your kids are older, they can be included as well in the bigger trips. Once again, I AM NOT agreeing with your parents-in-law. They should be spending equal time with each of their grandkids, no matter how much or how little it costs. As far as your kids being jealous of the other kids' ipads, they probably will be when they get older. But it's good for them to experience life without all the electronic gadgets. Teach them that they don't need tvs and computers and things to have fun. Show them how to build things with their hands, and let them experience the satisfaction of being able to create something.

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There is nothing wrong with getting second hand things! Just because something is brand new doesn't mean they will have more fun playing with it. Have you tried talking with them about how you feel they treat your other children?

Cleaver - posted on 02/15/2013

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my mother in law also tells me off a little that i buy things used "oh she never bought anything that was used by someone elses kids' but i see nothing wrong with buying a preloved puzzle or book i can get him more of what he likes when i get used that my husband is 100% on my side. i get that taking all the kids might be a little much but they never do anything with just my kids when ever there are plans my SIL shows up "theyll have fun playing together"

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If they don't take all the kids they don't need to take any (with maybe the exception of the 4 mnth old, who is still very young). That's how it was with me and my closest cousins. That's how it is with my younger cousins who are always together, and my son when he is there. If one kid goes with someone, they all go (if they want to). If the person in charge isn't up for taking on all of them, then none of them go. I also have seen a family member who has 3 kids go through this. The older 2 have the same father but the youngest had a different one. The older 2 would go with their dad all the time and sometimes come back with cool things or money, and the littlest one was always left out. She would sit and cry and ask why she couldn't go with her sister and brother. It was heartbreaking to watch, and really affected her.

As far as the Ipad thing, yes there may be jealousy eventually, it's only natural. We don't have a lot of nice things like that either, but when my son starts saying he would like to have this or that, or the latest gadget or toy he sees one TV I tell him "Be happy for the things you already have. Some children are not fortunate enough to have all the things you have, and they don't have anything to play with at all. You are very fortunate. If you get something nice, that's fine too, but appreciate that as well."

Cleaver - posted on 02/15/2013

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i want to add that my inlaws want to buy a big property and built a family commune and were going to go IF (big if) this happens and i know while my kids are out chasing eachother her kids will be sitting there playing their consols if this happens jealousy will happen VERY fast theyll start to not like that i get them puzzles and play doh my sister in law is getting her kids the newest consol

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