My roommate downloaded child porn to my husbands computer,

Krystal - posted on 03/24/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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We had a friend of mine that i have known since 1995 living with us, we discovered a day or 2 ago that there was child porn on my husbands computer. I dont use hubbys computer due to having my own. We have turned it over to the local police department, I have removed myself and my children from the home until the police department makes an arrest. I do not plan to return and refuse to return until an arrest is made. What happends now? Is the state going to mess with my kids? Im terrified. I live in Virginia. Help, tips advice???!?!?

13 Comments

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Krystal - posted on 03/25/2010

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Thankyou ladies so very much, for the most part i the post you have replied with has seemed to have eased some of my worries naturally it wont take the pain and and the fears away, My children are so confused, and acting out, I am trying to deal with this the best way i possibly can. I sent for some of my kids toys lastnight.. Hoping that maybe seeing some familiar stuff from home will ease their stress and fears as well.. I will know more by friday if not monday. I will do my best to keep up tp date..Im a lil more functional as of this morning, I guess we will see how the day goes. Again thankyou so much ladies... You guys other then the few select people that I know that are helpin me get thru this, My hats off to ya!

Melissa - posted on 03/24/2010

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we had a very similar problem but we don't know who downloaded the videos to the computer...my husband has had a few friends over that have used his computer...needless to say our situation ended very badly...the way we discovered it was we went on vacation out of the country and took the computer....customs checked it and arrested him on the spot...he spend 3 months in a forgien jail and (I was pregnant at the time) barely made it home in time for the birth...dcfs did check on us for a year before we went to trial but they have gone away now...and my husband is now a registered sex offender because of all of this...it has been a nightmare

BB - posted on 03/24/2010

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That is sick, people who do stuff like that are sick perverts.It's good that you turned over that computer to the police.Did you also have your kids looked at by a doc. to see if they have been sexually abused?I would and I would also take them to a counselor to have the counselor ask them questions to make sure.I would keep my kids far away from there and give the police and cps whatever items they may want or if they want to talk to your kids I would let them w/ you there.You could also take a vol. lie detector. Good luck!

Lorie - posted on 03/24/2010

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OH MY GOD, Iam so sorry you are going through this.

The police might just talk to your children but I would let them talk to them 100 % if they were my kids b/c god forbid something happened to them. Iam not trying to scare you but the states are 90 % of bad things that happen to children are from people they know.

I think you are doing the best thing you can do right now is stay away. If the police want to talk to you they will call or come to the house.

I would talk to my kids and ask questions and of course age appropriate.

I really hope everyone is ok.'

god luck

Rebecca - posted on 03/24/2010

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My father did things to my sister and myself when i was 2 months old and she was 2yrs and we were left to live with my mother as she discovered what was going on and took us immediately to the hospital for evaluation. Since i found out what happened and then being molested in a shopping mall i hate men and have a hard time trusting them. I had issues when our second child,a girl, was born but i have learned my husband is not those freaks and i trust him.
Cooperate and all will work out. Don't lose faith in the system

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2010

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You are right for getting your children out of there. I'm sure the police will understand if you explain to them that you feel your children are in danger. They don't want your children hurt any more than you do. Just keep talking to the police and don't blame yourself for anything. As I had said earlier, I was married to the guy and I had no idea what was going on.

Krystal - posted on 03/24/2010

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I was approached by my husband the day before yesterday he had told me he had something that i needed to see. I looked and it was kiddie porn, I told him to erase it and to change the password on his computer til i could figure out what to do. and or format the hard drive, (buying time so I could research it, thinking maybe it was accidental a program glitch - they were off limewire) well my husband not thinking went to bed that night and heard his computer reboot and saw our roommate trying to figure out the password, not being able to he left off the computer and then yesterday morning is when we discovered the download that was started on limewire the prior night had restarted. Franticly i start calling around looking as to what to do about the situation and everyone had told me to call the police, My children were in process of getting ready for school, I didnt confront the roommate, I didnt immediately call the police tho after the kids left i took off to a important meeting then shot straight to the local pd afterwards. I called hubby told him as i was on my way down to the pd to get my daughter that we are turning the computer over to the police. I havent had myself or the kids back at the house since, the police want him to sit tight at the house until they are done gaining evidence so they have a place to arrest him, I asked the police dept what am I to do with him there and they told me to act as if there is nothing wrong, I simply cant do that, I cant stomach looking at the guy, Having my children there with him there is sickening to me, The investagator called just a few minutes ago and said that there is such a large hard drive on the computer that we are looking at like a week before we know anything. I am at a loss, Im doing the best I can to keep things quiet in the best interest of my children, we are in a safe spot. Getting lots of mommy time to compensate for the confusion, this is so hard... by all means im simply at a loss....

Rebekah - posted on 03/24/2010

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How do you know it was your roommate? Did he use your husband's computer a lot?

Nicole - posted on 03/24/2010

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No they won't. You have made the right choices to protect your babies and they couldn't have done better themselves! As long as you and hubby can provide a safe and stress free environment till things get back to normal all will be fine

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2010

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Sorry you are going through such a hard time. I went through something kind of similar. My ex who wasn't my ex at the time went to jail for some theft charges and I decided that I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided that I was going to kick him out of our apartment. When I was packing up his stuff, I found some computer discs and since his thefts were on ebay, I decided to take them to my parents house to see what was on them. I couldn't open any of the files, but they had names like kiddie porn. Long story short, my dad ended up turning them into my cousin who was a deputy sheriff, because he was afraid that my ex had downloaded the stuff on his computer and he didn't want anything coming back on him. My cousin turned the discs into a detective, who then contacted me. My son was never taken away, and there was never any children services involved. The one thing the dective did have me do, was look at the faces of the kids in the pics (she covered up the disgusting parts) just to make sure I didn't personally know any of them. My ex was found guilty, and his parent's and my parent's computers were checked for any other things like that he could have downloaded and after that non of us were bothered again. Child porn is taken very seriously, and I am so glad it is. Since you turned in the computer, and if you cooperate, you should have no problems with the police. They only want to get the sicko's off the street.

Casey - posted on 03/24/2010

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Hi Krystal, what a terrible situation you are all in, but seemings you and your husband were very honest about what has happened and the fact that you have turned the computer into the police department should work in your favour as this shows that nither of you had anything to hide and surely the police would be able to realise that if it was actually yours then you wouldn't just dob yourselves in. It is a good thing that you and the kid have moved out of the home because it shows that you are putting your childrens wellfare above everything else, but in saying that you and your husband still need to show a united front as he may look like a bad guy with you not standing by him. I would maybe consult a solicitor and get their prosepective on the situation and also keep in contact with the police department as well and co-operate as much as possible with them. If social services get in touch with you then you just need to continue to be honest about what has happened. Is the "friend" still living in your house???? if they are then you need to talk to the police about how you can get rid of them without causing problems with the case, but make sure you show everyone a united front with your husband cause you don't even want a hint of a rumour going around that the 2 of you have seperated over this, goodluck.

Jodi - posted on 03/24/2010

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I would think they would want to interview all of you to get the most complete "story" they can. But I would also think that since you turned over the computer you'd be in the clear and they wouldn't take your kids from you. Then again, I'm not a cop or a social worker...so I guess I don't really know for sure. Best of luck in this horrible situation!

[deleted account]

I don't know what to say really. I don't know what will happen as I live in the UK but since the computer is your husband's they will most likely want to interview him as a suspect as well as your room mate. Social services could be involved but I don't think they would take your children from you. I hope that everything gets sorted out.

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