my seven year old throws huge fits

Rachel - posted on 08/13/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 7 year old throws huge fits and throws his hands on his head and says OMG! and cries about everything what do you suggest?

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i have gone thru this with my boy..it is a stage!!..he will improve....my boy is now 9. a book called "the secret to happy children" became my parenting bible!!....i dont agree with the other lady, it is up to you to teach him how to behave not the other way round.be consistant .when my son had tanties in the shop i would tell that if he continues i will leave the trolley mid shop, take him home to his father and go back by myself...he had a tantie, i followed thru and now b4 it even starts i ask him what will happen if he continues!!

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Amber - posted on 08/14/2009

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My son wasn't one to throw fits, but my daughter is. She's only two though, so that is kind of to be expected. My stepdaughter was a horrible fit thrower when my husband and I first met, She was 5 at the time. She is a drama queen to this day, lol, and loves an audience for anything. (I personally think she is a born performer) But what I did with her was I would put her in the bathroom, tell her that no one enjoyed the ruckus she was causing and that she needed to stay there until she was finished, at which point she needed to blow her nose, wash her face and feel free to come out. At first I put her in her room, but she would play with toys and scream and cry or watch herself cry so that is what led me to put her in the bathroom where she couldn't see herself or play, lol. There were many many times she would come out to try and continue her fit or sniffle and try to play the sypmathy card. I would just calmly walk with her back to the bathroom, tell her it was obvious she needed more time to be upset and to please come out when she was totally finished. In time it worked, her fits gots shorter and soon she didn't often throw a fit, because with consistency she realized that it wasn't going to get her her way. It also gave her the room to express whatever her feelings were without disturbing the household as much or causing us to get after her in a harsh way that would "justify" her feelings of being thwarted or whatever. She also didn't feel like she was "in trouble", she was just separate from everyone else and she didn't like that. I fully intend to use this technique with my daughter, and already do in an age appropriate way. We use a time out mat and timer in a corner for now, since she is too young to fully understand what I'm telling her and also shouldn't be unsupervised in a room with a closed door.

Gina - posted on 08/14/2009

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I agree with teaching them how to behave. My 7 year old is atrocious also. I have been using the "thinking chair" technique but altered slightly. To get him to the chair for 7 minutes resulted in a lot trouble. So I made it one minute and I count to three. He hardly ever makes it to 2 minutes and I am able to pull him up with smaller things. Like back chatting and rude sounds and screaming when i tell him no. Really big bad things like hitting his brother or you know other bad stuff results in 7 minutes. But he never knows when it is coming so I don't have the same trouble with getting him there. It is good to know my son is not the only one.

CuQee - posted on 08/13/2009

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Oh goodie, goodie ! Can I come and join him?? I know I can throw a bigger, better fit than he can, HANDS DOWN. In the store, if a kid is having a big fit, I get down and join'em. It embarrasses the hell out of'em to have a full grown adult pitching a fit with them and they jump up & quit right away. Works every time. Oh, how I wish I lived by you. I'd take your son & we'd have a blast !! ( But tell him most kids fits are actually PITIFUL. They just really don't put much effort in'em !!

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