My son is 4 yes old and he only listen to his dad if he says no or go to your room ext... But I say any of that he screams or throws, hits, kicks I mean the whole fit package. And it stresses me out so much how do I keep my cool and get him to listen to me at the same time with out him screaming in my face?

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Whittney - posted on 10/28/2011

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This is a work in progress for me, as my 4 year old minds his daddy better then me. he doesnt hit me or scream at me but is still very defiante and screams in general. but I find that a nice pair of ear plugs help sooth your reaction to where you can confront your child a little easier. The screaming is dulled a little. Try telling him to focus on your nose and tell him to take a deep breath and to let it out. Now for the hitting you. Catch his hand as he is swinging it at you and hold onto it, Not hard but firm enough he cant pull it away and explain to him in a calm tone that it isn't right to hit and not going to be tolerated. Now its possible youre going to lose your temper. TRUST me I know. I try not to yell or spank him but sometimes that is the only way to get him to listen. You just have to let him know that Mommy can dish out the disipline just like daddy. Try putting him on his bed and close the door until he screams it out and is ready to talk. That sounds mean but sometimes they just get to worked up that talking or yelling at them just makes it worse. Hope this helps, good luck.

Eron - posted on 10/28/2011

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children are busy active and excited little people, they may not be trying to act up, but are maybe too involved in whatever they are up to/learning, dont rely on dad to lay the law down, be firm - even if they dont like it + u feel guilty for saying no, thats why they listen 2 dad, coz they know he means what he says - mum tries to make them happy, so they learn that they can make mum compromise, mum should be always calm, always fair, always firm! we teach them whats ok and whats not, do not let them make u argue with them, keep it simple, this is how you should behave, this is what happens if you dont behave that way, keep it simple x

Dana - posted on 10/28/2011

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That's how I feel I'll try to walk him to his room easy and throws him self to the floor and if he hits something he says "you see what what you made me do " or he'll say " it's all my fault " why he's mad it horrible but I try. : /

Alicia - posted on 10/27/2011

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oh my god i wish i had any advice, if you figure it out let me know! My daughter is the exact same way!! My husband deploys a lot so I spend a lot of time alone with my daughter. she is an angel when daddys home, but whenever its just me she does the exact same thing youre describing! I feel like all I ever do is yell lately and its making me feel like a horrible mom.

Dana - posted on 10/27/2011

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I'm glad to know I'm not alone on this factor. I cant get him to leave me alone to calm down though he follows me it's annoying and it's Monday and Tuesday that are so hard cause my husband is gone from 2-11pm

Crystal - posted on 10/27/2011

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Oh man, do I feel your pain. My two kids, 4 & 6 are very much like this. I have been a SAHM for 6 years now. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been around the most, so they learned my reactions. I have never been one to freak out at them...I very much started out as a push over, wanting them to have whatever they wanted. Bad mommy! I"m paying for it now. I get the fits, the talking back, etc when I tell them to do something, especially when Dad is not home. When he's home, they listen to me, but with reluctance. When Dad speaks, they listen. He too sits them down and tells them how important it is to listen to me, and that I'm the boss too, and that he will support me in what I say and want them to do. We are very much a team. However, it works for a day or so, then they're back to the same old stuff. Its really annoying, stressful and I'm just plain sick of it. I'm at a loss of what to do...and I know that when my hubby goes back to work, its all me. As silly as it may sound, I try my hardest to follow what I've seen on Supernanny...calm, calm calm, getting down to their level and using timeouts when necessary. Its all still a work in progress... Good luck! Sorry I can't be much help, but know you are not alone in this battle.

Dana - posted on 10/26/2011

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He only acts up when his isn't home whenever James is home he listen just fine, when he gets though and I tell him whats happened or he gets home and hes not in bed then he buts in and says " why aren't you listening to mommy didn't we talk about this that you need to listen to her when I'm gone "

Erin - posted on 10/26/2011

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Oh man i have a feeling im going to have the same problem with my daughter, but shes only 4 months old so i have some time. Me and my daughters father have a very strong agreement that we will not over-ride each others actions when dealing with our daughter. if i say something it goes and the same for him. Does your sons father step in when hes having a fit and tell him he has to listen to mommy?

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