my son is getting bullied at school but now hes doing the bullying. he refuses to go to school now

Gemma - posted on 10/08/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is 3 years old and just started nursery. When he first went he loved it but last week he started getting bullied, I sorted it out but now my son is causing trouble in the classroom and disrupting the other children. He now refuses to go and cries every morning. Ive tried everything with my son but nothin is working. any suggestions?

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Robin - posted on 10/08/2009

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I have been on both sides...Had a child that went thru this as well. I sat him down and explained how he was upset when people were being mean to him and when he is mean to the other kids they feel just like he did when they were mean to him. I know it is hard when they are that young but relating his feeling to how the other kids feel will help him to understand better Good luck Hun :)

Stacey - posted on 10/08/2009

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I would say something to the teacher and the director at the schhol. It is so hard for 3 yrs olds to understand and express how they feel. They tend to act l;ike others when they see the behavior. Your son desrves to have fun and go. Good Luck

Beth - posted on 10/08/2009

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Well it definitely has affected him in a big way being bullied (as it would anyone).

Maybe you can just sit down with him in a quiet place and talk about how he is feeling and how you can help to make him feel better and comfortable again in nursery school.

Ask him why he doesn't want to go anymore and why he is acting up and then you can take the proper steps to find a solution to his problem.



Good luck hun.

HUGS

Gemma - posted on 10/08/2009

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Thank you for that advice. When im takin him in he keeps screaming at me to take him home but i dont want to give into him or pull him out as it seems then like hes got his own way. I feel awful when the teacher tells me hes been playing up again as hes usually a very fun playful child n now it seems like hes sunk into a shell that he won't come back out of. He has changed so much over this last week he doesn't seem like the same person.

Beth - posted on 10/08/2009

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Wow that is a tough one considering your son is only 3.



I know it is hard to speak with a 3 yr old about things that are bothering them because it is hard for them to communicate and talk about feelings,since sometimes they don't know what they are feeling or they do but don't understand why.



I think he is lashing out only because of how he felt when he was being bullied and is probably feeling apprehensive and anxious due to what happened to him and if he acts out it will prevent it from happening again.

3 yrs don't know how to express themselves very well verbally so they act it out instead.

Since this all happened only last week you will have to give him time,it is all still fresh.

He obviously at one time felt content and comfortable at nursery school but now that comfort zone has been disrupted so now he is not comfortable there and is acting out so maybe he can be where he is more comfortable which is home with you.

Maybe you might have to pull him from nursery school for awhile.

Sorry I couldn't be more help.

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