My son is MEAN.

Kelsey - posted on 03/10/2011 ( 61 moms have responded )

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Help! My 2 1/2 year old is mean. He hits, punches, kicks and everything. He doesn't really bite, but I really don't know what to do. Nothing is working - time-outs, nothing...help! Does anyone else have this problem and does anyone have advise?

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Darlene - posted on 03/17/2011

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@ Candyce- My mother did it to me and I turned out ok, lol- There is a big difference between a spanking and child abuse. I don't spank my kids because I have anger issues of my own due to depression, but I do believe that it can be an effective tool. With my mother you just didn't hit, period. My kids started a little when they were 2 and 3, nothing major, but I just didn't tolerate it. They do understand that they are being mean at 2, I just told them whatever they did to someone else, I was going to do to them. One hair pull was all it took for my daughter, my son just never went there because he knows if I say it I WILL follow through. I am not saying that you should spank your kid, but you have to stand your ground and show who is the parent. I just would never tolerate any child of mine hitting me. Maybe its all about attitude. Don't be mad!

Victoria - posted on 03/17/2011

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Consistency is the key! You can't be loosey goosey with the rules. And I think that all of the "don't say no" and "don't call him mean" advice is what causes kids to act out. They do it because they know that they can and there is no punishment. My sister never followed through with any of her threats and now her teenaged kids rule the house. Good luck!

Ellie - posted on 03/16/2011

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a lot of parents have problems with the term, "punishment." mainly because they don't know what it means. punishment is not being mean, or getting angry. punishment is when you take away whatever it is that is causing a particular behavior. in simple terms, the dinging we hear when entering a car w/o putting on the seat belt is a form of punishment. putting on the seat belt and making the annoying sound go away is the reward. eventually, you may not even notice the dinging noise, but you will still put on your seat belt because it has become something positive to you.
a) what is your son trying to get by hitting/kicking/acting out? is he trying to get something, or make something go away? is he getting a sensory stimulation out of it? (some kids bite because chewing on things feels good, in example.) try to figure out what he is trying to accomplish.
b) find something to replace it. if he is trying to get away from playing with his sibling, try to give him a corner of a room to himself. if he is trying to get your attention, give him a better way of doing it. make/buy a card that he can give you whenever he wants to get your attention (since speech is not a strong suit.) get a big pillow or stuffed animal that he can hit all he wants, so if he gets the urge he can go take it out on something safe and appropriate.
c) if you want to use a time-out, just make sure that is a "punishment." if he is acting out because he is doing something he does not want to do, and you take him away from it, you're only giving him cause to keep it up. time-out and ignoring are great tools, but only if your child is trying to get something, and not escape something.
d) as mentioned by several other moms, catch him being good. if you look for good things in him, you'll also find your mood improving.
e) again, as mentioned by other moms, be consistent. stop, drop, and roll, so to speak.
f) finally, your son is not "mean." children that age are too primitive in their emotions to be that purposeful. don't assume it's anger; i've met some kids that kick and bite when they are happy. it's more a matter of getting him to translate his feelings into something appropriate. we take for granted exactly how much learning a kid has to do to smile when happy, or frown when sad. chin up, have faith in yourself, and have faith in your kid.

Julie - posted on 03/11/2011

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My son is 8 now.When he was 2ish.He really was a terrible 2.I couldn't let him play with other children.he was very mean.I did the time out UNTIL it worked.I had to be VERY consistent with every single out burst he had.I had to get off the phone,cut my visitors visits short,stop eating out.Even put the house work on hold.To give him that undivided attention to his

Chrissie - posted on 03/13/2011

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I am a firm believer in spanking or teaching by example. My son use to pull my hair until I pulled his back one day. Last time he bit me, I bit him back. Obviously if he hits/punches in the face I wouldn't do it back to him but he is definitely old enough to know better. I would suggest counseling if it doesn't stop soon. Schools have a very low tolerance for hitting/biting/pushing these days

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Julie - posted on 04/07/2011

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YES!!!
spend quality AND quantity time with your son... and take him outside every day to exercise...
He has anger issues and is not 'mean' but is desperately tryting to tell you something mommie - he needs you!

Brandis - posted on 03/26/2011

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i think maybe the meaness could maybe come from having a sibling, i have 1 child and he went through that stage too but not that bad and he got out of it very quickly...he doesnt hit or bite or anything anymore...on the other hand my brother has 2 kids a 3 yr old boy and 2 year old girl and the little boy is a bully..when my went through that stage i would try not to spank his butt or smack his hand but i would grab his face and make him look me in the eye and i would explain to him what he did wrong and then i would then put him in the corner for time out for about 5 mins; longer or shorter time depending on the crime then when time out was over i would get eye level with him and explain that we dont bite or hit anybody...

but my son is 3 and doesnt have any siblings to compete with

Jerrie - posted on 03/26/2011

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My 1 year old son is also mean, he pulls his older sister hair, slaps her in the face, pushes her down, and pinches her. since he still a lil to young for whippens my husband and i decided to take things he likes to play away. My kids got a room of just toys and when he mean we let his sister play and he just gets to watch. After a while he understands he dnt get the things she gets when he is mean to her. Since your son is older then mine it might work. It will take some time for it to get to their heads of wht you doing but it sure works for my lil boy.

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Oh, another thing... I do not know if you are religious or not... I am not, but, my Mom showed me this site one time, and I do use the tactics... "Raising Godly Tomatoes".

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When my oldest started this phase, I began time outs every time he did it. There were days when we would do a 2 min time out, he would get out of the corner, and hit again, so back into the corner again. One time was nearly 2 hours!!! And, if he was crying during his time out, or throwing a tantrum, he had to stay there until he was quiet. Since he doesn't really talk a lot yet, look up the American Sign Language examples... teach him "sorry" in sign language. (You can teach him a lot and it will help with speech development.)
It will take several weeks (4-6) of complete attention to breaking him of these actions and complete consistency to stop it. And, when you are gone, his care giver MUST do the exact same thing to assist the outcome. When you first put him in the corner (or time out chair or step, or whatever place you use) you tell him "Hitting is a bad choice. You will sit here for 2 minutes and then apologize to (person's name) for hitting." Once his time is up, restate the same thing. (after the 3rd or 4th time of putting him in time out for the same thing(s) every day, say nothing until time out is completed. After another 4 to 5 times, say nothing at all, he knows what is expected. when time is up simply say "apologize"... Give him up to 1 minute to apologize. If he doesn't do it, another time out until he makes the choice to apologize (words or sign language and a hug work best!).
My 8 yo still gets into trouble for hitting. He gets sent straight to his room for an attitude adjustment! If he comes out with even the slightest scowl on his face, he goes right back into his room. Some times, it is 4 hours before he has changed his attitude, is ready to cooperate and apologize!
I have spent entire days dealing with little boys being M E A N!!! It is exhausting, but all in all, the end results are very rewarding!

Tiffany - posted on 03/25/2011

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I got a really big locking toy box, and whenever he was bad, any toy of my choice when into the box. If he behaved himself all day then at the end of the day he could picked out whatever toy he wanted. At first he lost a lot of toys, but it didn't take him long to figure out what he needed to do inder to gain his toys back.....I hope you find something that works...it was always a big fear of mine that my son would bu a bully

Julie - posted on 03/18/2011

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Spanking should be done on the butt and hard enough AFTER verbally telling him why you must spank him.
They know the dif. in spanking and hitting for no just cause -

Julie - posted on 03/18/2011

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Finding out what causes such behavior is key -
You can change the outside of a child by behaviors and rewards but what is REALLY going on inside?

Julie - posted on 03/18/2011

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Disease or not - make your child mind.
There are ways without being aggressive back to them.
Give them a quiet peaceful environment...
NO NOISY TOYS! or playmates

Julie - posted on 03/18/2011

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I strongly disagree with the martial arts class... Kids use no discretion and in fact, they learn LOTS OF AGGRESSION at Martial arts class... Those classes were meant for adult combat - literally. They should be outlawed!

Julie - posted on 03/18/2011

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If a child cannot get attention for being good - they do things like punching...

Do you best to acknowledge every time he does something good... and tell him how much you love him.

Keep him busy with good happy QUIET activities -

Spend good, quality time with your child and go for walks to burn off energy

AND

GET OFF OF SUGAR - our world is filled with it ... our little ones don't stand a chance -it is like an instant drug!

Victoria - posted on 03/18/2011

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I am in no way anti-spanking, however, intuitively, I fail to see how spanking a kid would stop them from hitting. It's like the old do as I say, not as I do. Maybe it works, but in this case it would be a confusing lesson to learn.

Tonya - posted on 03/18/2011

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We have a reward jar that seems to work pretty well (not ALL the time but most). I started by taking a small mason jar and a full jar beside it with marbles. I had my sons decorate their empty jars. I only used it as a reward at first so everytime I caught them being nice (sharing, playing without fighting, doing something for me the first time I ask, etc) I would let them put one marble in thier jar. After they got about 1/2 the jar filled up I started having them take one marble out for naughty behavior. I explained to them whenever the jar is full they get to pick an activity they want to do, not anything over the top but like out for ice cream or a trip to their favorite park, or the dollar store for 1 toy. I started at first with my 4 year old but the jar has done wonders for my little one. It even helped with potty training, he would get one marble every time he went. I hope you find something that works! Remember this to shall pass....

Julie - posted on 03/17/2011

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Do you work, mommie?

Your son is not mean - he is angry and has no verbal skills to tell you what he is feeling on the inside so he is acting out.
After a good breakfast, get up and spend time reading simply books to him - having him point out various objects on the page ... then nap with him.
Go for walks with him ... play with him ... hold him close when you read or watch simple short videos - and rub his head and back and I PROMISE - you are going to have a different child within days!

Candyce - posted on 03/17/2011

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Wow.... I know I'm going to get castigated for this, but the one time my son decided he was going to try to hit, I spanked his little behind. He never did it again. Just whup his little butt - that's what my momma did and what I did.

Blessed Be

Mindee - posted on 03/17/2011

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Where did he learn this behavior? TV? Video games? Preschool? Perhaps he just has a lot of agression... Is he old enough to join a martial arts class? I think that's the best thing for kids who need to get out agression and yet learn to respect themselves and others. (I think they usually begin around age 3).
I wish you and your little guy the best of luck.

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2011

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I'm with ya. My 14 month old does it and it does no good to pop his hand or anything. I'm on the same boat with ya

Josephine - posted on 03/16/2011

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Hi i went through the same thing with my lill guy, from age 18mths he was very head strong, always lashed out and hit, pinched and pushed other lill boy's and girl's, we began having problems with him in play-school because he would be hurting others including his teachers, his tantrums were and still are uncontrollable, bringing him shopping or on family outing were constant nightmares as he hated being around people, or in noisy areas, so with all our concerns for our lill guy we went for advice, help from our puplic health nurse and she said " HE IS A BOY, HE WILL GROW OUT OF THIS IN NO TIME" so with that we continued the time outs, taking the favorite toy etc with no results. he was still a troubled little boy who was having alot of difficulty with daily life, and it hurt us so much every time we would get the reports from other parents, teachers etc that he had hurt someone again and again :( we struggled with this until after many assesments and doctor appointments, November last year when our 6 yr old son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and possibly ADHD, so if you are worried aout your little boy dnt be afraid to ask for help, as there may be a chance this is not your childs fault, my lill guy is getting all the resources he needs now to help him in school and to grow up a healty happy little boy, yes we do still have more bad than good days, but boy do them good days out do the bad when you see them smile and bounce around with pride every bit of pain is worth it :) but we are still learning how to controll all his struggles in life and we as his parents are willing to do everything in our power for him to achieve in life :)xx To the parents who do agree with spanking, do you ever sit back and think, that spanking your little one is teaching them that spanking is ok and therefore they will continue to spank others because mum and dad do it to them ?? just curious coz we have 4 wonderfull children and with our boy with aspergers we did spank him on the hand or the bottom at times when he was little but really we were just teaching him it was ok to spank and his behaviour got worse that was my experience !!!!!! best of look with your little boy, once he has lots of love and care he will be just fine and its so clear he has keep up te good work xx

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2011

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I don't know if you are a spanking parent or not, but I have had to resort to a combination of spanking and time outs with my 19 month old. I have a 9 month old and have to protect him along with setting aside time for just my 19 month old. As long as he knows it is unacceptable he usually does not do it, but sometimes he just give up and "lets loose". Thats when we take a few steps back and try it again. He is now at the point to where he will help with his brother, because I invite him to do so, and then when his brother is taken care of and it's time for him to be in his walker or exersaucer, then he watches his brother and myself play and engages with laughter. BUT my oldest gets at least an hour of my time a day. And at that he gets it in the afternoon and evenings. This is time that I don't do housework, homework (full time student), cooking, anything...it's all about him. And he is used to the time set aside, so he will initiate it with me or will wait to see if I notice the time. he picks what we do. So, he gets worn out from that and does not have the energy to do what your child is doing. This may or may not work for you, but he needs to know his limits. I have been told by a social worker that it is okay to lightly but firmly smack his hand or foot or whatever is needed. If he bites and won't let go, hold his nose and he will quickly let go to breath. It is not dangerous or abusive because his body will do the work with that....but the social worker told me to lightly bite him back and let him feel the pain he is inflicting on others...but not as severe as he does it. It worked...he does not bite or kick or scratch anymore. He knows it hurts and chooses to not inflict that pain on others. It was hard for me to do that to my own child, but I knew it was the only way to teach him it was wrong. He never had marks on his body or pain that lasted for too long (10 seconds at the most) and then he got the message and his brain was conditioned to know whenever he did this that the pain he felt from it was what he was doing to another person. He still pushes when he is mad, but with that I sit him aside in time out and stand with my back to him for two minutes (one minute for each year of age) and then we "talk" about what he did was wrong. He says sorry and you can understand it. He then kisses mommy and hugs and then back to play time. He is almost one pushing, so it is working. You need to do what is best for you...maybe he is angry about something or needs a day care for socialization. Sometimes if they are not around other kids they don't know how to behave, so a little bad behaviors with other kids can correct the problem. Especially with professionals that run the daycares. Hope this helps.

Christa - posted on 03/15/2011

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my son is only 21 months and i know how you feel but he bites me more then anything. i don't even know what else to do i've tried everything. he even leaves nasty bruises and friends think i am being beaten until they see my son bite me.

Marissa - posted on 03/15/2011

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My daughter is 2 1/2 also. She started that behavior when she hit 2. I tried everything except a spanking. I gave her a swat on her diaper and sent her to her room. I made her sit on her bed for ten mins and it seemed to work. Every time she starts behaving like that we go through it all over again. I also removed ALL toys from her room, and any time she misbehaves she doesn't get to play with anything for a half hour. (which in a kids world is forever) Also I limit her to 1 hour of tv a day. I dont know if this will work for you but I hope I have helped somewhat. Good luck!!!

Alysia - posted on 03/15/2011

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My 2 year old is at this stage too, and i have started crying when he hits or yells at me. Now he understands that it hurts and he feels bad, up to this point I dont actually think he knew what "sorry" meant even though he used it. Hope this helps!! Good luck, this is a tough stage :(

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My son is almost 4 and he likes to hit and kick me when he's mad. He also throws his toys at me from time to time. Like your situation, time outs don't work...at least not for me. I was told by a developmental pediatrician that it's probably some kind of behavioural problem. But every situation is different. I'm still learning myself how to deal with it all, because 6 months ago, he wasn't like this. Now, he's a little terror. I wish you luck.

Allie - posted on 03/15/2011

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I agree with Beth, "Supernanny" has some really good tools, I think you can pick up Jo Frost's book at a local library and you can watch the show online (like Hulu.com)... We use her time out technique and it works like a charm, we also use her bed time routine (we made a few adjustments to what works best for us.)
There are so many tools out there that can help you, and just remember you're the mother... he is NOT allowed to treat you like that.

Beth - posted on 03/14/2011

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I think that you should look at Jo Frost's method of timeout. Put him there. And when he leaves the spot KEEP putting him back. Ignore what he says and if he hits you in the process. Then it will get boring and he will stay put AND calm down. Also you have to tell him why he is being put in timeout and remind he when his time is done properly. Make him apologize and give kisses. If he keeps getting up, keep restarting the clock and he will catch on. My boys did.

Allie - posted on 03/14/2011

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Are you and other caregivers on the same page? If not you all need to get there.. because being consistent is the most important thing.
Also, sometimes children do certain things just to get a reaction, so if you're in the kitchen cleaning and he comes and hits you, you could try just walking and ignoring him?

Olivia - posted on 03/14/2011

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My 3 year old went thorough this and was hitting and pushing his 2 year old nephew and one other child from kindy, we figured out he was jealous and that telling him that his nephew was younger wasnt helping. So i sat him down one night when he was in a good mood and went through his photos of when he was 2, and said things like thats you when you were little like Appolyon (his nephew) He couldnt remember his birthday and was really happy to look back at all the fun things we had done together, ever since he has been extremely lovely to his nephew and doesnt attempt to be mean towards anyone. He does talk alot about his next birthday and funnily enough he talks about having the same cake he had at his 2nd birthday.

Tifani - posted on 03/14/2011

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Well the 9 month old is probably only mimicing what the other child does. It could just be the terrible 2's stage. However, if it continues for some prolong time I would talk to his peditrician. My son did the same thing (and still does including biting), and he just turned 7. They finally when he was 6 diagnosed him as bi-polar. The medication has helped but still have a way to go. They are considering increasing medication. My son has to be held in a 5 pt harness position. That is you sit with your legs over theirs so the can not kick. Hold their arms with yours with their head against your chest. This will prevent them from hurting themselves or others. My son has actually had his doctors call the police on him because he was so out of control. Hope this helps and good luck.

Allie - posted on 03/14/2011

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It sounds alot like jealousy. Maybe he is trying to get more time with you alone.

Tracie - posted on 03/14/2011

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I highly recommend the book "You Can't Make Me (but I can be persuaded)" by Cynthia Tobias. She is a genius with strong willed children.

It sounds to me like he is lashing out in frustration. Over what? That's what you have to figure out. And please do not label him "mean." He does not have the mental capacity to hurt on purpose and understand the consequences of those actions.

You said he doesn't talk much. Could inability to communicate be what's causing his frustration? Have you tried signing at all? I have seen it work MIRACLES in children's behavior.

Best of luck to you and your precious boy!!

Diane - posted on 03/14/2011

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Distraction works well and remember that it's a stage they all go through. I know I felt horrible at my local toddler group when my daughter went through this stage. I was firm and told her no and made her say sorry but I always felt bad but remember it isnt your fault.

Lauren - posted on 03/14/2011

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try getting him a coloured chair this can b the naughty space when you have gave him his last warning put him on there and if he tries to get off egnore him nd just simply put him back untill he sits there for 5 min nd done hes time explain why u put him on there and then make him say sorry also praise his good behaviour get a board or something and every day that he has been acting well and good let him put a star on the its little things like this thats makes a different its alot of hard work but you have to show him u r the boss and he cant act like this he will soon get the giff he will keep playing up because he know he can get away with these things so dont give up u will get there gran nd stool or a chair get it in a black or something make a naughty spot make him face the wall nd make him sit there for his time everytime he gets off just put him back till he does hes 5 mins then as i said explain to him why he is on there and make him say sorry and giv u a hug buy one of them timers so once the 5 mins is up the timer will go off :) its gonna b stressfull but will work in the long run and will be worth it :) xx

Sarah - posted on 03/14/2011

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After writing my post I read that you mentioned that he does not talk much. I would also agree with Nicole on getting a speech evaluation done. At 2 1/2 yrs he should be able to say at least 50 words and be putting small sentences together. You may need to remind him about using his words, but if he is not able to say many words at this point that is a concern.

Sarah - posted on 03/14/2011

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A lot of his behavior is normal 2 yr old behavior....not that it should be accepted. Often times kids will hit or push because that is the way they know how to communicate how they don't like or want something. Teach him some simple words/phrases to use to communicate without the hitting or pushing. Some words he may already know....then it is just reminding him to use his words at those moments. So if he hits....you go over and say we don't hit in a firm voice....then tell him what we say instead. Like instead say please...or please can I play (if wanting to play with something. Also let him know that then he needs to wait for an answer from the other person and accept no if that is the answer. At first I would just do those things (unless you feel the offense was harsh enough for a time-out)......After a few times of stepping in and explaining about using words and what words to use then I would add in the time outs. The first stage is a teaching stage the second stage is then teaching about consquences of our actions. Being consistant will also help....sometimes you may feel that all you are doing is getting after him, but that also lets him know that each time he hits he will be disciplined.

Darlene - posted on 03/14/2011

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I know it is hard, but I find that you have to be extremely firm and let them know that this behavior will not be tolerated, not give them a fluffy teddy to hug. This seems to cause children (in my opinion) to feel that the behavior they have shown is acceptable and you are rewarding them for it. This behavior is unacceptable and needs to be treated as such. Holding him close if he is hurting someone until he calms down was a good suggestion. After he calms down, and you have calmed down, then you should matter of factly explain that his behavior was unacceptable and that there will be consequences. Then you need to put him in time out(it won't work until he is calm) and hold him there if need be 1 minute for every year. Do not talk to him while he is in time out, but if he struggles you need to hold him firmly there. When the time out is over you need to be forgiving and have him make his apologies and tell him you are happy he stayed in time out and thought about what he did wrong, etc. They need to feel that you are in control when they are out of control. The key is consistency, no matter what you opt to try, if you stick with it and follow through, it will work. When he is not displaying the problem behavior is when you need to be teaching him to be gentle, not during.

Nicole - posted on 03/14/2011

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It sounds like he is frustrated. You said he does not talk much I would get a speech evaluation. I would go through Early Intervention if you do not have insurance that provides speech. A lot of times it is frustration at not being able to verbalize and not knowing the "right" way to get attention etc. Hang in there!

Melissa - posted on 03/14/2011

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How much one on one time do you get with him? A lot of children will act out to get the attention they desire. Also I would just continue the time outs. Be stern and don't get him out until his time is up. If he doesnt stay put in time out be consistent and keep putting him back in time out until his time is up. I know it's hard but being consistent, stern, and rewarding the good behavior more will help!

Janine - posted on 03/13/2011

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I DONT BELIEVE IN TERRIBLE TWO'S. I believe between 2 and 3 especially, little ones are trying to find a little of themselves. They will push boundries and see what they can get away with. By 4 and 5 - they will really come into there own personality and find themselves.. by then it will change for you. I believe that you must keep up your discipline. He needs to know that it isnt right! It is a discipline that comes from love and although you think it doesnt work... with persistance and make sure IT IS everytime he performs this behaviour, that you are giving him time outs, try taking special toys away, try especially a NAUGHTY CHAIR and not just a bedroom. Explain to him everytime that what he is doing is wrong and why and ALWAYS implore him to apologize to the person he did it too. He will learn.... it is a hard age to deal with, but trust me as a mother of 6, persistance pays off and you hold the power not him! Good luck sweet, hope it helps x

Shana - posted on 03/13/2011

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My son (now 2) went through the "mean" phase, hitting and throwing things stating at around 9-10 months. We consistently everytime it happened would pick him up and say "NO hit" and put him in his bed and close the door. He would pitch a fit about being in there and cry and cry, but we would not go get him until he had calmed himself down. When we would get him out we would tell him not to hit. That took about a month and after that whenever he would raise his hand I would tell him "think about it" and 9 out of 10 times he would put his hand done. Even now we use that same method with him and it works so well. He calms himself down very quickly now and listens so much better when we give him an instruction. When he throws a temper tantrum I tell him when he's done we can talk and he calms himself quickly and actually tells me "All done crying Momma". Don't get frustrated with him, we cannot teach our children love and respect when we act in anger and frustration. That's why removing him totally from the room worked best for me and I knew in his room in his bed he was safe. You'll find something that works for your family and this phase will pass behind you. Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 03/13/2011

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I have four kids, all past this age, and I work with 2-3 year olds, which is actually my favorite age of preschoolers to work with. I believe, as others have said, you have to be consistent, and you have to physically go to the child, get down on their level, hold their arm and look them in the eye when explaining in simple terms "we don't hit/kick/whatever our friends/family. That is not nice." You have to immediately, physically deal with it, and put them back into time-out no matter how many times it takes (and stay as close by as needed to keep them there). Demonstrate good loving touches often and praise the good behavior. I was not against spanking my own kids and that worked fine in some situations, but of course in child care that is not possible, so other ways of discipline have to be used and they work also. Good luck to you-I hope you can get this under control soon-because it is not just the age, and all kids don't do this, and I do believe it will run into problems later on if allowed to continue.

Ilene - posted on 03/13/2011

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I don't mean to offend anyone and I know my comments will so I'm sorry in advance & please no hate mail. We are the mommies for a reason. For the most part, we are the disaplinaries. We are the ones who are most looked down on when our children misbehave. Do what you need to do and don't flip out over their self asteem. They will have lots of that when they get an A or play a sport well. If the corner isn't working, they laugh at having things taken away and the councilor is at his wits end, spank him and make sure he feels it. I'm NOT saying abuse your child. I don't condone abuse of any kind no matter what. But spanking your child is NOT abuse.

Nikki - posted on 03/13/2011

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Do you put in right back in time-out when he comes out of time-out and hits again? If you just keep putting him right back in time-out and explain why he's in time-out, he will eventually learn. If you give him time-out for hitting once, you have to do it everytime(even if it's right after he gets out). Be consistent and he will eventually understand. You said he doesn't talk much....he may be acting out because his lack of communication skills is frustrating him. Ecourage him to use his words, not his hands or teeth. It's a hard age. I used to work in daycare with 2-3 year old and it was everyone's least favorite room to work in because the kids were so crazy at that age. I don't know if they have karate or gymnasitcs for that age, but maybe if you could get him in a class where he can get his extra energy out, that might help a bit. Sorry, don't mean to sound like a "know-it-all". I just have a lot of experience with that age.

Angela - posted on 03/12/2011

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I have a 17 month old and he will hit me and his 7 year old sister with whatever he can find. He hit me in the forehead with a plastic tea pitcher and bruised me. He also hits on on top of the head with plastic golf clubs, bats,hair brushes. I am in the same boat sorry I don't have any suggestions.

Angela - posted on 03/12/2011

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I have a 17 month old and he will hit me and his 7 year old sister with whatever he can find. He hit me in the forehead with a plastic tea pitcher and bruised me. He also hits on on top of the head with plastic golf clubs, bats,hair brushes. I am in the same boat sorry I don't have any suggestions.

Danielle - posted on 03/12/2011

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If letting the kids hit him back didn't work I would take another step. I have problems with my son when it comes to doing school work. He's been asking me for a NIntindo DS so I went on Ebay and bought a gameboy color and told him if he took care of it I would buy him a DS. Anyway I don't let him have it all the time. I keep it put up and when he does well then his treat is to play his gameboy for an hour. He's older than your son but my point is why don't you find something he REALLY likes and keep it from him and just give it to him for good behavior. Remind him about it before he plays with other children and give him one warning. If he hits once remind him of that treat at home and how he WON'T be playing with it if he doesn't act right. That may help.

Dezrae23 - posted on 03/11/2011

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Hey kelsey, my daughter is almost 2 and she doesn't hit or punch, but at times i wish she would hit instead of bit because it hurts so bad! lol.. I think that he is probably just going through a stage to where he is trying to express his feelings to you... i know my daughter when she wants something and my hands are tied she bites the hell out of me. Try to sit him down and explain to him that it hurts you when he does that and it hurts others, let him know that its unacceptable u know? I hope this helped a little.. Good luck!

Kristel - posted on 03/11/2011

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My 22 month old son does the same thing. He hits, kicks, screams and throws temper tantrums in the most unappropriate places. Sorry I don't have any advice for you. Wish I had some for the both of us.

Kelsey - posted on 03/11/2011

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@ Danielle.. we have tried when kids come crying to me i tell them to hit him back and he just gets mad growls like a lion and hits them back i really dont know what to do everyone says it will pass but this has been going on for about 8 months now

Danielle - posted on 03/11/2011

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We had problems out of my neice. She's almost three and would bully my little girl by biting, hitting, pulling hair. Her mother and I tried everything from timeouts to taking toys away. We finally broke her from it by letting my daughter retaliate under a watchful eye. All it took was one good hair pulling and it put a stop to it. She's only 3 so we still have problems sometimes but my daughter isn't walking around with bruises from where she bit the shit out of her a hundred times that day.It was horrible.

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