my son is turning 13

Samone - posted on 11/13/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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When do you talk to your son about sex? I am a mom who feels uncomfortable about talking to my child about sex and don't really know if I should let his father talk to him. I want him to feel OK to come and talk to me .HELP

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Penny - posted on 11/13/2013

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Let whoever feels most comfortable with the subject matter talk to him - if that is your hubby then let him.The last thing you want is to feel embarrassed and uneasy. If he is 12 he knows what sex is, but there are large gaps in his knowledge. And that is where babies come from. Common misconceptions are that you can't get pregnant your first time, or in a hot tub, or if you pull out. Many teens dont know that the pill is not effective in the first month of use, or if you are on medication like antibiotics. Many teens are not aware of the common symptoms of STDS, and alot of them think you can tell if a girl or boy has them by how they look or act...scary.

The best way to discuss these topics is in a frank way, using proper medical terminology. It makes it less taboo and less, frankly, exciting. And it conveys the message you want to convey. I do not have a teen but I worked with at risk youth for 5 years and had many discussions about sex. I was young at the time, 19-24, and perhaps my youth allowed them to feel more at ease in asking the questions they had. I will tell you that I was SHOCKED at how much misinformation these kids had, especially when just about all of them were sexually active themselves. Shocked.

With my own children, we have started the ball rolling by using the correct terms, penis and vagina for their privates and we have had talks about what they mean (You are a boy just like daddy. That means you both have penises. Cailin is a girl and she has a vagina like mommy). I know this right make some people uncomfortable but research supports this and most importantly it feels right for our family. If you are not comfortable having the discussion, and your hubby isnt either, you could try writing him a letter, email or text letting him know that you want him to have all the facts and be safe and you are here for him if he needs to ask you anything. Better to have the talk and not need it than need it and not have had it... Good luck =)

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