My soon to be husband

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My soon to be husband and I live together and I have 2 kids but we have one together and he considers all his but he rather play the psp after work and on weekends rather than help out and spend time with us. Even when I say help , he doesn't , our son reaches for him and he ignores him most of the time to play . What can I do? I have tried saying I'm not cooking , too tired and I'm not cleaning but it doesn't work .

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Pennyroy61 - posted on 01/17/2017

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I understand that gaming has become a real problem in families. Have you told him that you are concerned that he is choosing the game over his family? I know I used to be bad to try and manipulate my husband with negative remarks and anger. When I realized it wasn't working, I began to try to find ways to motivate him away from the things I was concerned about-like having a good time without him. I also learned that when I said something in the right tone of concern, he tended to go off and think about what I had said, whereas he ignored my fussing. I hope you find the right strategy to help him see what effect this is having on his family.

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Michelle - posted on 01/15/2017

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I agree with Ev.
Have you actually had a conversation about what roles you are both going to have?
Maybe even couples counseling could help.
I wouldn't be marrying him until you have things sorted out as he won't magically change once you get married. It's better to find out now if things are going to work or not. If he isn't willing to listen or go to counseling then you have your answer.

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