Need adivice on a 6 month old baby

JE - posted on 03/16/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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hi, i have a 6 month old baby and i really need some advice on sleeping habits> i feel ashamed to say this but i am losing my patince with my baby and i find that i yell at her often as i am exhausted. for some reason she gives me a hard time to sleep at night and there are days she does not sleep for 9 hours straight. I feel a horrible mother for yelling at my baby and i know she is just a baby. I have tons of guilty and soemtimes feel that she will be better off without me because i dont have the patience. Again i feel horrible and i need some advice as to how to put her to bed as sometimes it takes me 2 hours to rock her and put her to bed i am extremely tired and sometimes i can't even eat as she cries if i put her down. I really really appreciate your advice



thank you

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Jennifer - posted on 03/16/2012

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We've all been there at some point. I understand she is very young, but crying a little won't hurt her one bit. I'm not talking about letting her scream for hours. When you feel the frustraion building, place her in her crib or some other safe place, then walk out of the room and shut the door and give yourself a few minutes to calm down. Babies can sense frustration, and it makes them even fussier. By you walking away from the situation for a few minutes to calm yourself down, you infact can get her to calm down. Also, routines are so important with little ones. Pick one week and not go any where if possible. Wake her at a certain time every morning. If she is on solid food, make sure to feed her at the same time every day. Try to get her to take her naps at certain times and for the same length of time. Then, when it comes to bed time, start a routine. Change her, give her a bottle or breast feed, brush her teeth, then read a book (this is just a sample routine, do what ever works for you). Then about 1/2 hr before you want her to go to sleep, turn off lights, and the tv. Make everything calm and quiet in the house. By the time the first week is up, you should really notice a difference. Finally, if you have a support system, use it. If you don't want to leave your daughter with anyone, or are exclusively breast feeding and can't, still have some help. Let dad or grandma take over the responsibiliy for a little bit while you take a long bath, or something else you enjoy. Good Luck Momma!

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Tabitha - posted on 03/19/2012

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Do you ever get a break from her? That might help. Her behavior could be triggered by your stress level. Try to get some alone time if you have the option to get out of the house. We can tell that you are a good mom or you wouldn't feel guilty for being impatient or asking for help. So don't feel like your baby would be better off without you, she wouldn't. The first year is a very stressful time. Don't be ashamed, Also, please research postpartum depression or anxiety and see if any of those symptoms make sense in your life. That's nothing to be ashamed of either.

Karen - posted on 03/18/2012

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The teething was horrible for us at 6 months! My daughter was a hard one to get to sleep! I have a video I took of her at 2 months old, she was awake for 11 hours straight, cooing and smiling. I knew it was NOT normal!



I had big problems with getting a bedtime routine to work for the first 6 months.



You said you rock her? That was how I fixed it. My daughter refused to have any type of sleep routine until I got a rocking chair, then it changed everything. Right after lunch, I would grab a blanket and rock her while I watched TV. I would put on something kind of boring, usually with a lot of talking. Biography channel or something like that. The talking from the TV and the rocking would lull her. Once I was convinced she was knocked out, I carried her off to her bed.

I have been judged for using a rocker. I had one mother tell me that it's a bad thing to have a dependency like that for getting a child to sleep. You know what though? Desperate times call for desperate measures, and a tired mommy does what she has to do. Her bedtime is 8pm and has been since we started with the rocking chair. I would try to have us all snuggled up by 7:30.

If its taking you 2 hours to rock her, and you have already checked over the needs list, then perhaps there is a distraction in the room?

Stifler's - posted on 03/18/2012

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6 months is a sucky age. They start wanting food, teething, waking up in the night more from teething, stuffing around with bottles etc. With both my kids I'd rock them a bit, feed them, walk around with them in a darker, quiet room and when they looked droowsy put them down and give them a pat and leave the room. If they whinge wait a minute and go back in for a pat and a shhh and go back out for 2 minutes until they're asleep.

JE - posted on 03/16/2012

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hi Brittney,

thank you for taking the time to reply to my post i really appreciate it. I will go through that check list next time and use the strategy of putting her in the crib just so i walk away relax and come back to her with a better attitude. i will try that ,thank you for the idea. I also think it might have to do with my personality where i dont really have much patience overall and daily struggle with this patience concept every day. the nap times might also be the issue as she naps 2 hours before going to bed, however, i tried putting her in another routine which keeps her awake 4 hours but that gets her overly tired so i play it by ear with the last nap time as well. Again thank you so much for replying, i truly needed some advice as i feel i am doing something wrong



JE

Brittney - posted on 03/16/2012

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Okay, calm down and look at the situation...now ask yourself. Is the baby hungry? over tired? cold? too hot? teething? uncomfortable? dirty diaper? needs to burp? not feeling well? It is okay to put your baby in the crib to cry if you fell like you may hurt them (not saying you will). Calm down before you go back in there and try to figure out what is wrong, some babies just like to be held and that is okay too. Rock her and sing to her, read a few books to her, tell her how you feel. She may not know what is going on, but it will help you to feel better. Try a different bedtime if she isn't sleeping long. Ideally naps should be 6 hours from bedtime. Give her a warm bottle (or if you breastfeed), warm bath, story time. A routine will really help. and I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.

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