NEED ADVICE

Mary - posted on 12/15/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi i had a problem with my Husband please i really need advice i feel like im intimidated by my husband he was forcing me to go out with his co-workmate, its a female 24 year old, he said that woman would like to know me and i reply to my husband i can't because im not feelin well and im tired of lookin after my 2 kids and he say i always making excuses and he scream in my face and i said i can get to know her when its christmas break up, my husband invite her for dinner at home, and he says to that woman she's a part of our family now and he knew her only for 2 weeks and they start chatting each other sending message each other smoke together, i dont blame that woman im blaming my husband coz his feeling for her it make sense that his inlove with her everytime when he gets home from work all the words came out from his mouth is that woman, do i have a reason to leave my husband? but we had 2 daughter's 2 years & 3months i can't stand his behaviour anymore and he likes screaming infront of our kids and i dont like it :(

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Jody - posted on 12/21/2012

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Does sound like he is having an affair. You do need lo listen to your heart. He already disrespected you and he will keep doing it because he saw that you are taking it. That I think its not healthy. Please take care of yourself. You can confront the other woman and tell her to leave your marriage alone but your husband has to make the choice either you or her. Tell him her presence is ruining your marriage even if he is not having an affair with her if he loves you and realize she is bugging u he will stop seeing her how he is now.

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Truly - posted on 12/19/2012

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MaryAnn I think in your heart you know he is having an affair. Have you ever heard the saying if it smells like a duck acts like a duck and sounds like a duck it probably is one. Now its your choice to either deal with the situation or move on.

Mary - posted on 12/18/2012

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Thank you guys, it really helpful talking and share my feelings :( were not sleeping in bed together anymore and again still the same i talk to him last night if he still in love with that woman and suddenly scream on me and says im goin to slap you if you dont stop accusing me thats what he say i just wanna know thats all if he's in love with her even if its hurt i can accept it i cant live with a lie and frustrated :( i talk to him last night ver calmly and nice way and soft while he's watching his show hes grunting i dont know how to spelled it it makes me scared but if he slapped me im goin to call the police i can't let him slapping me for no reason i will fight for the rest of my life all i want is the truth thats all.. do i need to confront that woman or just be quite tell i have a proof? :(

User - posted on 12/18/2012

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You need to focus on one thing at a time. Sounds like your thoughts and emotions are all over the place. If the things he is doing leads you to distrust then keep asking him about it. Talk to the other woman about it. Don't just sit and do nothing. You have rights in your life and marriage to do what you think is best. Don't live in fear.

Mary - posted on 12/17/2012

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:( I dont have family here in Australia, I had a friend but im not sure if they going to help me, im trying to talk to him after the 2 kids asleep and he was avoiding me and he reply im making him angry because he said i dont trust him..:( and im frustrated ive no where to go, i dont have the money, i dont have anything :( since our both parents passed away he's change, he said that ive change but im not, my father just passed away 1 month ago and he didn't get a chance to see his grandchild and my husband mother passed away 5 months ago..and this morning i was still asleep coz tired someone rang and who guess what, that woman asking my husband phone number and i gave it to her :( i pity my self, thinking of suicide, i ask him on the other that maybe we should see counseling.. and his not listening at all grab his smoke and smoked outside and play his games, all i want is to have a healthy and happy family thats why i left in my country to find a right guy for me and i thought i was blessed, im bless with two beautiful daughter's i dont want them to see me misserable :(

User - posted on 12/17/2012

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Sounds like there is a major lack of respect in your marriage! And there is no easy fix for that! First you need to recognize how long his disrespect for your feelings has occurred. Second you need to figure out when his lack of respect for you in his relationships outside of the marriage has occurred. Third you need to plan a night when the kids are with a babysitter or sound asleep and talk to him about your concerns. Counseling is probly your best bet because with this kind of disrespect he's not gonna be able to fix it overnight! And the fastest way to get him and y'all help is with someone educated and unbiased leading the way! Good luck and God bless!

Jody - posted on 12/16/2012

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Try to talk to him about it. If u suspect cheating confront him in a calm way. This dont sound right friends suppose to respect and keep limits. Dont assume and i think if he dont wanna calm down then do as u have to with ur kids in mind. He needs to respect u, the home, his kids and himself.

Truly - posted on 12/16/2012

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OMG MaryAnn thats terrible do you think he is cheating. An do you have the means to leave like do you have some where else go with your girls.

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