need advice about a problem im having with my husband

Joanna - posted on 05/03/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Every weekend my husband and I argue I have a 3month old son and on weekends my 18month neice come's to visit and when she play's with her toys or is watching tv she gets happy and yells and he get's mad because sometime's my son will be sleeping and the yelling will wake him up or if he's a wake my husband says that the yelling scares him....I dont know what else to do Im so tired of fighting every weeked she's only 1 and how do you tell a 1yr old not to yell when she gets happy I think my husband is just being a big baby and a pain in the a** and what buggs me more is everytime I protect her he say's I choose her over my son that really make's me mad! Am I being to careless or is he being an a**?? How do I get him to understand? and most of all how do I get the fighting to stop?

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Rebeca - posted on 05/04/2010

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Shannon, background noise is a great idea. I just remembered that my daughter was given a teddy bear that had an internal mechanism that replicated the sounds baby hears in the womb (white noise, heartbeat?) I don't really remember the noise it made but it really helped my daughter settle, and sleep through anything.

I do remember my mother telling me to vacuum next to her when she was asleep from the moment I brought her home from hospital, and I would take her to parties where she would sleep in her pram right through loud music, people talking loudly etc, and when my son was born, he never once woke her up. Mind you , she is 12 now and still such a heavy sleeper that a train could choo choo through her room and she wouldn't wake up!! lol

Joanna, I don't know if those bears are still around, or if it's too late to introduce it now anyway, but Shannon's idea of a machine that makes different noises is brilliant. I have one that has lots of different sounds such as white noise, ocean waves, rainfall, bird songs, rainforest sounds etc and it is brilliant, I would highly recommend you look into purchasing one, they are relatively inexpensive.

Good luck hun.

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I think he is being an a**.. Pardon my language. LOL Try putting some white noise in the room with the baby while he sleeps. That way when the girl is loud it won't be as disruptive. A radio, a t.v. they make those sound machines that have ocean sounds & stuff. :-)

Tara - posted on 05/03/2010

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I think he's being an idiot. Faith and Rebeca are right on target - your son needs to learn to sleep through some noise, especially if you ever plan on having more kids. That being said, I can speak from experience with my own kids - my oldest daughter was 2 in March and my youngest is 7 months (they are 18 months apart) - both girls have been taught from an early age to sleep through most noises although anything really unusual will wake them up. Both girls will sleep through the other shrieking with happiness, playing, etc - the only thing I have to worry about now is my older girl likes giving kisses to her sister and if she can get anywhere near her when she's sleeping she'll shake her awake to give her kisses :)

Faith - posted on 05/03/2010

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Your hubby needs to relax. If you ever think about having another child is he going to react the same way towards your son? You should ask him and see if he understands how unreasonable he is expecting a small toddler to be quiet. Personally I "taught" my son how to cope with noise while he is sleeping. It makes my life soooo much easier. The only time we tiptoe around is during the bedtime when he needs longer quality sleep. I think the best thing to do is just remind your hubby that kids will be kids. If the baby wakes up and you are the one taking care of him, your man shouldnt care. I might feel a little bit bad for him if every time the baby woke up you had him take care of him, than I could somewhat understand your hubby frustration. Also remind your husband that babies will get startled but your child shouldn't live in a quiet bubble. Noise is good for kids and keeps their minds stimulated. I'm sure that you arent choosing your son over your neice, just keep reminding him that she is doing what toddlers do best...make nosie. Your son will be at the stage before you know it. ;-) Personally I have 3 boys and still dont know it all. Hope that everything works out soon, don't stress it, sometimes just not bothering to argue with him would be best the situation. Tell him shes being a normal kid the baby is fine, deal.

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Shelley - posted on 05/03/2010

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Some men just worked up expecially when a baby crys or is upset then of course they say mean hurtful things. Hopefully its a phase & he will get over it lol.

Joanna - posted on 05/03/2010

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Thanks lady's I was beging to think maby I was wrong but now I know I wasent! I always told him I want the baby to learn how to sleep thru noise so that he didnt wake up thru little things but he's a man...and he's no help! I think I will show him what you ladys think that way he see's that I asked who is right and who is wrong. Maby this way he will understand from moms with more that 1 baby teach their kids what im trying to teach mine..(how to sleep thru noise) Something needs to be done this time it just got way out of hand and were still fighting to the point where were thinking going our own ways...

Rebeca - posted on 05/03/2010

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I understand how frustrated you must be. Men don't get anything!!
I agree with Faith, your son should learn to sleep through noise. And if you do have another child, you will have the same issues so he will need to learn how to deal with this.

Maybe for now it is best if your hubby leaves the house when your niece comes over.

I really hope that things settle down soon.

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