Need Advice about dealing with inlaws

7of9 - posted on 02/11/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

3

0

1

I need advice on letting my 7 month old daughter staying at my mother in laws for more than a couple of hours. Here is a description of why I have reservations. We adopted her @ birth. This was a family adoption from my side of the family. We had a welcome shower w/ the baby there & none of my husbands family came. Then turned VERY nasty when I posted thank you to all who came & I will forever remember this day. Now, this is our 1st child, I am 36, I've known since 18 I could not ever have children, so this was a HUGE ordeal for my family & friends. My sister gave me the shower & reposted my post because some of her friends came as well. His family publicly humiliated my sister by posting "your hiding behind God" after she posted a Bible verse. My sister has turned her life around & turned to Jesus several years ago. My sister in law & her 3 boys (ages 5, 6,&8) live w/ grandma also. They are very rough, recently one had to go to the ER because they thought the other had ruptured his testicle. The house is small & very cluttered. They have no baby stuff to put her in or to entertain her. Yes I can take it but it's harder & my family (who has much less money) buy these things for their own houses (petty yes but please read on). My father in law has been battling cancer & he lives there also. My mother in law last week looked at her daughter & asked "who are you? What are you doing in my house? I'm calling the police?" Then repeated it when 1 of th boys came in. Then at the 2nd boy. Then to her husband. They weren't sure if she was kidding but still to this day she says she has no memory. She does play these type of mind games at times when she says she is "joking". I told my husband I am not comfortable leaving the baby there with the main reasons of the boys are rough & his mother could have onset Dementia. He said we don't know if she was kidding. I think that's just as bad especially since she is still saying she has no memory & that she said it to the grandkids. My family is not perfect but there are no small kids, they are all older & none of the "dementia" type behaivor. Please moms advise me! I do not want to argue everytime this happens. I have let them baby sit for short periods (twice) but I'm not comfortable w/ leaving her a whole day. I don't want to compromise them bonding w/ her & don't think they would intentionally hurt her. I also know accidents can happen at any house. Am I wrong? Thank you.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

2 Comments

View replies by

Trisha - posted on 02/12/2015

551

0

13

When you step back and look at this scenario, do you think you are overreacting over any of these items?
How many adults are there in the household? Are the capable adults in the house able to handle everything, including the baby? Do they to your knowledge neglect any of the children? How were they around the boys?

7of9 - posted on 02/11/2015

3

0

1

Let me also add to the part about me posting on FB how thankful I was: my sister in law told my husband that was meant towards her & was furious. She also said I was mad at her for not coming. Which I was but I never told her this. We were fairly close before the baby was born. I was so upset I deactivated my account & then she got mad about that & basicly threatened my husband & I about not seeing her boys anymore. Then when I reactivated my account days later she deleted me & blocked me from her. No one ever apologized to me or my family. Then after 2 wks I decided for the baby's sake & my husband I would just let it go & start going back over w/ him. My husband even took it upon himself to friend them all back from my FB account even though they were the ones who deleted me. I did not want to because they ruined FB for me. I use to repost things I liked but his mother like to comment on all my stuff very sarcastically. This is only since the baby has been here. I know this is just drama to some of you but this is affecting my life & moods greatly. I'm feeling more distant from them but can't talk to my husband without him getting upset.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms