Need advice. . husband cheated

Eve - posted on 08/25/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My husband had just gotten out of the military right when we had gotten pregnant. He waslooking for a job for about 8 months . He couldntfind one in our town. So he decided to take a contracting job overseas. Well while there right before he came home in May he had cheated. HAd sex with another married woman. They only did it twice. I am, a sahm I love my husband very much really and I just dont know what to do. I dont want to lose him but at the same time he has broken our trust. He didnt even tell me and came hime and laid with me in our bed. Talked to her while he was home the WHOLE time . She would call him and call him. She knew he was married and had a 5 month old son. Neither of them even cared it seems. I dunno Im confused should i trust my heart and hope he wil never do it again or call it quits. . .

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Sarah - posted on 08/26/2010

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I suggest you get the book, the proper care and feeding of husbands, by Dr. Laura. I think if you know he is a good guy then give him another chance. I also think that going to a family and marriage counselor would be very beneficial. Remember to be honest and truthful, and if you do decide to move on, make sure you have resolved all the issues, so next time you don't repeat the same mistakes!! I also think that men stray for a reason, you need to find out what that reason was. Hopefully this helps you make the best decision for you and your family.

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Barbara - posted on 05/13/2015

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The best advice to have is not from another female. You really need to ask another man as to Why he does what he does. Your husband or boyfriend usually wont tell you directly but another man will more than likely tell you everything you need to know about the "whys".

The best book i have ever read on relationships is called "Are we just friends" by Juan Di Varo. This guy goes into the actual science as to why men do the things that they do. I was skeptical at first but then after reading a few chapters it really does make sense. I seriously doubt any woman can give advice to another woman about a man. Just as most men are completely thick when it comes to understanding most women.

Read Di Varo's book dear, hope this helps.

Barb

Vanessa - posted on 08/25/2010

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What is his opinion? How did you find out? Is he still in contact with her?
If he's genuine about saving your relationship, he needs to be an open book to you and he has to understand that regaining your trust is not an instant thing, but something he has to work for and you both have to work through.
Everyone is entitled to one screw up in my opinion - but that being said, your peace of mind is what really counts and if you don't think you can put it behind you - then let him go.
*hugs*

Jasmine - posted on 08/25/2010

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this is only advice but a man who loves and cares for you would not have an affair with another woman once a cheater always a cheater i say confront him with the situation get a divorce or continue living with that same horrible feeling everyday that he has been with someone else. cut ur losses and move on there are plenty of wonderful loving caring one woman men out there which every woman deserves not a cheating bastard.

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If he is willing to stay in the marriage, you should go to counseling to work through the issues...for both of you. If he is up for that, then you'd probably have a good chance of making it. If he doesn't want to stay in the marriage or try to work through the issues then he's not worth it. You deserve the best.

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wow. so sorry this happened to ur family.. idk exactly how i would handle it.. is there any chance of you guys doing counseling? is he absolutely done with her, does he want to build ur relationship again, and od you?.. i think you need to do a lot of thinking, praying and talking with ur husband.. make a plan involving him or not involving him, u have to make sure you and ur child are happy.. God bless hun

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