Need advice! Husband has job offer out of state!

Stephanie - posted on 09/19/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I need some opinions. My husband and I have a 19 month old together. We also have my 8 year old who lives with us and sees his father every other weekend or when it's convenient for his Dad. I am a stay at home mom and my husband has been working for the same company for 17 years. We live in Texas and my family is here and we see them almost everyday ( I help my sister out with babysitting). We are very close and they help us out whenever we need help as far as babysitting. He also has his family here too. My husband has moved in the past, but my kids and I have not. He recently was told his company was closing the shop here in Tx and if he wanted to continue his employment along with his benefits he would have to relocate to Georgia. They would increase his salary to compensate for the cost of living and assist with moving fees. The problem is I'm not sure if this is the best move for our kids. We have bad credit, not much in savings and the place we are renting the landlord has already offered us home owners financing when we are ready. We love this house and the neighborhood. If he turns down the offer he will get a severance, but we are pretty sure he will have to take at least a 3-4 dollar paycut. I want us to stay and have told him if we would I could get a part time job and adjust our schedules so we would not have to incur the cost of child care. I understand he has worked so hard and wants to retire with this company. I'm worried about moving up there with nobody except us. I'm thinking what if something happens and I don't have anyone to watch the kids ( we only feel comfortable with certain family members watching the kids). I'm also thinking about my son. He has a relationship with his Father and they visit at least once a month. He is in soccer here and has been with the same coach and team for the past 2 years. I don't want him to feel like we're taking him away from his biological dad and hate us for it. Plus I mentioned previously we have bad credit and am not sure what kind of housing we could get into up there. We would have to downsize a lot. I do not want him to subconsciously hold a grudge against me if we don't move down there and even worse him have a hard time finding a job here although he has already had several prospective employers show interest in him since his work skills, certifications, and work history. I also do not want to move up there and subconsciously hold a grudge against him because I feel I think we can make it work here. Please help I just want what is best for my family and all of our happiness. So lost and just want to make the right decision. If it was just my husband and me we would already be moving, but its not and we have to make the best decision for the whole family.

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Gina - posted on 09/21/2013

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My sincere advice is to stay put, money will not buy you the love, company and support of family and friends; if you move to a new state none of the material stuff will bring you happiness. An increase in income will soon feel like no increase compared to the strains it will cause in your lives. Your children will be happier and better adjusted , if they grow up around family and life-long friends, that's something that no fancy house or car can replace. What's the use of having a beautiful house if you don't have friends and family to come visit you?
I hope your husband reconsiders this decision, I'm sure he can find a job closer to home if he really sets his mind on it and pray.

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Janessa - posted on 09/22/2013

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Yea despite what I posted earlier I agree with Gina and Julie. I still think you need to sit down and really talk it out. But my true advise would be to stay. We moved back in January due to a job opportunity. We are only 4 hours away from family, but we are planning on transferring back. It was a necessary move for us due to my husband getting his foot in the door. We've made lots of friends and life is good, but we really miss being closer to family because family means a lot to us!

Janessa - posted on 09/19/2013

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That's really hard. The best thing is to communicate with him. Express to him everything you have stated here in a calm manner. But first ask him how he feels about the situation. Also you two need to write out a pros and cons list of moving verses staying. Also if you both come to the conclusion that you rather stay then he needs to start applying for jobs ASAP so he can make sure he will have an opportunity elsewhere. If you have to move you can always agree to a trial year there and if you hate it move back.

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