need advice plz

Alicia - posted on 03/22/2010 ( 23 moms have responded )

73

18

1

not sure i should be asking this kind of question yet but i just don't know what to do or say when ppl ask me...i have a 6 year old son who screams like a girl and he sometimes acts like one he will cross his legs and do these hand gesture things...and family members has question me and has even said things to my son...do u think i should prepare myself for a child who is gonna be gay?or is this just a faise the children go through....plz don't say nething mean to me i am just wondering....

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kristin - posted on 03/22/2010

10

55

0

I have a son and two girls and he is definately boyish since he's all about hunting and his daddy. But on the other hand, I grew up with a sister and younger brother and my brother would dress in dresses and put on makeup with us girls at the age of 8. He was also a very sensitive boy and would cry at the drop of a hat and talked a little feminine. I remember all of this when he was just eight years old. Today he is 26 and very much a manly man, with a wife and son of his own. He has a deep manly voice and doesn't cry all the time, but he does still have the sweet and sensitive heart he always had. There is no mistake that he is NOT gay. So, I would just say that right now your son is still a little boy and he is just being a little kid, so I wouldn't think anything about it. Just let him be him, everything is fine!

Amanda - posted on 03/22/2010

5

2

0

i have a four year old son who went through the same phase. my family was the same way. i know my son is 2 years younger than yours but as i'm sure you know they all go through these things at different times. i myself wondered for awhile, but almost as soon as it started he was back in the dirt and pestering his older sister again.lol . i'm willing to bet if you just let it run its course it will be over before you know it, but its also good that you are so open minded. just tell your family to back off and remember the most important thing is to let him know hes loved no matter what. i am raising 5 boy ranging from 18 to 2 and all have been through it except the 2 yo so i think you're safe to relax for a while. have fun and lots of luck

23 Comments

View replies by

Pam - posted on 03/25/2010

4

13

0

Well honey I know exactly what you are going though. My 8 year old does stuff just like that, personally I think it's just the way some kids are as a child. If they are sensitive they show it and my son is very sensitive. He loved looking at himself in the mirror as a baby and younger child but he does better now. He does better communicating with girls but he plays with both girls and boys. I think most people just like to find fought in someone elses kids and don't see the whole person. I have a gay nephew and I think it's all about how they are treated growing up, I don't care what the experts say. My nephew never had a real mom or dad to treat him right so all he knew was me, my mom, and my grandma to take care of him and he seen how his mom and dad treated him. I think it was mainly to pay them back at first but now it's him. Don't worry it's your son no mater what and just love him unconditionally. He will you.

Denese - posted on 03/25/2010

55

46

9

I have 3 sons ranging from 11-5 and they each had there own phse of what other would call girly and so on. They are just being children and playing just as girls go threw a tomboy phase to which i did for 10 years. Wheather its a phase or personality just love him through it and enjoy being his mom. Dont worry about what your family says.

Stacey - posted on 03/25/2010

64

48

0

hey hun theres nothing to worry about theres a thing people have said to me everyone goes thrugh a stage male and femail where they will go thrugh a faze of are they gay or not and it doesnt mater what age they are. it could be that.
can i ask are you afraid of your child being gay?
xx

Kristin - posted on 03/25/2010

1,645

40

305

First and foremost, don't worry about it. Just love him and support him, he will grow into a wonderful person no matter his sexual preference. As for your family, if they continue to make comments, ask them if they would love him any less. If this is a problem for them, perhaps the time spent with them should be limited. Children are NOT equipped to deal with these issues and the anger and fear surrounding them. Good luck.

Carmel - posted on 03/25/2010

14

14

0

just go with the flow dont be worring, but stick up for your son when family members say something mean to him. you dont want him getting depressed if he starts to think he is diffrent to most boys. And with depression gone up in children as young as 9, your going to love him no matter what.

Cassandra - posted on 03/24/2010

86

8

0

I wouldn't get yourself all worked up. He's only 6. Besides, you're gonna love him no matter, so there's no since in worrying.

Bridgett - posted on 03/24/2010

15

31

0

I am wondering if you have brought this up to your son's pediatrician? That would be a good thing to do.. The pediatrician can give you advice and resources on situations as this..

Alicia - posted on 03/23/2010

73

18

1

when he was in preschool he liked a little girl in his class..he is now in 1st grade and if u ask him about the little girl he will smile and say no or something...and to answer a few of the question on do u love ur son? my answer is yes very much...i just didn't think it was good for other ppl to say things to him..but thanks to everyone for ur in put on the question..and thanks for not judgeing me..

[deleted account]

I have a 15 year old boy who can scream like a girl :)....I think that somehow in this world we have come up with far too many boy/girl behaviors. I have 3 sons and a daughter. My third child(a boy) is really long and lanky. He crosses his legs all the time and has very long fingers...so when he points to things, it looks very dainty because of the length of his hands. He absolutely is a red-blooded boy who likes girls. I agree with others who have shared comments...that just because a kid does certain things with their body, doesn't mean they are gay. If you label him that way, he will get that in his head. If the screaming bugs you, tell him to stop. If other things he does bugs other people...politely find a way to tell them, to bug off. No, it isn't a phase he is going through, it is a behavior he has. Accept him the way he is...unless what he does is annoying and will cause problems for him with others. Those are private things that parents can help their children with. He will grow out of some of these things with more interaction with others. But he is fine....just don't label it.

Brittany - posted on 03/23/2010

330

25

28

well seeing as how you are on this community...i assume you stay at home with your son, which probably means you are the main role model in his life. my son is 2 (i know thats a lot younger, but still) and he asks all the time if he can wear a bra...or wants his nails painted. they just do what they see. now when his daddy is home from work...he is all boy...but when its just me that he sees...he tends to lean towards doing girly things. i wouldnt worry at all...he is your little boy and he always will be. as a parent you will love your kids no matter what or who they are...so just continue loving him and everything will be fine!!!

Caz - posted on 03/23/2010

8

23

0

i only have a young son, but to be honest with you i dont think children realise any hand movements as being sexual, they just do the same as any other child does, maybe he has seen a little girl at play group do the same thing and thought it looked good, as for the screaming, i know how you feel, my son does the same, im hoping he will grow out of it but if not i guess i will just have to cope as best i can, i wouldnt take notice of anyone else if i was you, as long as he is healthy and happy , thats the main thing, hope this makes you feel better or at least to let you know your not alone.

LORI - posted on 03/23/2010

13

44

2

From my experience with 6 children, they are all different.
It is normal to question new things, but don't worry, you will love and accept him no matter what.

Heather - posted on 03/23/2010

2

33

0

Don't worry, if he's straight he's straight, if he's gay he's gay! Who cares, he's your boy and you love him right?

Jessica - posted on 03/22/2010

63

107

5

My brother went through the same thing. It may just be that you have a more feminine son ... that doesn't mean he will be gay. He may just be metro-sexual. It's best to let him grow up as he will and not try to alter him... you can cause more harm but trying to "fix" him than by letting him be who he is meant to be.

[deleted account]

i'll tell ya, i know plenty of straight men who scream like girls, cross their legs and are into interior decorating (i swear! ) and plenty of gay men who are into football and sports and dirt and hunting.... =) no matter what, just love your child and tell the others that it doesnt matter.. right now he is being who he is, and if he is happy then, that is all that matters =) (and if he is gay, he will see how cool of a mother he has and be more comfortable being true to himself rather than trying to be something he isnt.) ♥

Christy - posted on 03/22/2010

2,218

41

438

Let it run it's course. If he's gay, you'll find out by the time he's a teen and be understanding about it. He's your baby no matter what age. And if he isn't, that's OK too.

Jasmine - posted on 03/22/2010

4

19

0

lol thats cute, i grew up with kids like this and at 6yrs old i dont think u hav anything 2 worry about they r still so lil. it mite b a problem if hes still doin it in his teen years but even then u cant judge ur sons sexuality by how he acts in these girlish ways at 6 lol thats like sayn my boy still likes playn with dolls and wearn my shoes round the house so he must b gay. if ppl say something just say leave my lil boy alone.hel grow out of it im sure, if not hu cares as long hes happy.my mum always said to me that boys kan make better gurls than gurls sometimes!!

Amanda - posted on 03/22/2010

2

14

0

I wouldn't worry. Kids tend to act pretty strange! (I worked in education for 7 years and have one son.) I wouldn't start labeling him, he's only 6 years old. Does he have a lot of male figures in his life or is he mostly around women? That might help you figure things out. But just remember he's only 6 and he's going to change a lot! Just have fun being his mom!

Debbie - posted on 03/22/2010

17

45

7

in my opinion i wouldnt give it a second thought, let people think and say what they like, your son will grow up to be an amzing man-gay or straight, if you can tell at such a young age if he is going to be or not would it make a difference to anything you do now? prob not so just enjoy having a 6yo son, it may be a stage hes going through, i havnt experienced it and wont either because i have girls lol, but dont worry to much about it

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms