Need Advice With Two Year Old And New Baby Sister

Michelle - posted on 01/06/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello fellow mommies! I have a two year old girl and we recently welcomed home another daughter just a week ago. When I was pregnant, my oldest totally got the fact that there was a baby in my tummy and she would love to put her hands on it and feel the baby move around. But now that she is here, my oldest wants nothing to do with her. We are making small advances, for example, at first if you were holding the baby my two year old wouldn't hardly look at you much less talk to you. Now she will actually engage you and come sit next to you if you are holding the baby. But she doesn't ever want to interact with the baby herself. Any advice on this issue with those who have been through this would be much appreciated. We are trying not to force the issue with the oldest, but maybe that is the wrong tactic? Thanks!

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Lexi - posted on 12/22/2011

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I would just give it time. At this age there is no reason she NEEDS to interact or have much to do with her new sister. It's a huge adjustment for her to have sissy suddenly living in the house with you guys. I would offer her opportunities to help out and be involved (so she doesn't feel left out) but don't get upset or push the issue if she says "no thanks". I have the opposite problem now that my second son has been born. My 2 year old is waaaaay too interested. I cannot safely turn my back on them because he is constantly trying to pick up his baby brother, feed him crackers, pulling his hands/arms and trying to make him play with toys, swinging the baby swing too hard, etc.... The little one is 2.5 months old now and the newness is slowly fading. My big boy is gradually learning the rules about what he can do with/to baby and what he can't. In time your eldest daughter will adjust to having the new baby and learn to love and care for her. If you think about it, the newborn is pretty darn booooring at this point! lol Just because she's not interested now does not mean she wont love and play with her sister later. Congrats on your new baby!

Amber - posted on 01/06/2011

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I recently had a baby my oldest was 33 months when she was born she also was very aware that we were having a baby, there is a baby in mommys tummy we knew it was a girl so we were able to teach her her name too. when she was born she wanted nothing to do with her sister but it didnt take long for her to warm up to the new baby. have you tried letting her hold her with you being right there oveously, ask her if she wants to help you change her diaper my oldest does the tabs, giving her small tasks letting her help with your baby might make her feel like she's not getting pushed aside but welcoming a new family member. giving her her own baby and when you do somthing like feed change or put down for naps she can do the same with her baby. i bottle feed my daughter so my oldest is able to hold the bottle she really enjoys helping now. hope somthing works good luck.

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