Need help/advies PLEASE

Andrea - posted on 04/09/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have posted this on some other groups and haven't gotten any help... I am not sure if this is a little taboo to ask about, other mom's just don't know or haven't experinced it... Fused labia and potty training!!!!

We just started potty training our 2year old daughter and she really really wants to learn but is having problems. She has a fused labia and I know sometimes pee will get caught and it feels like they have to pee all the time. It is confusing for her because she isn't sure if she has to go and sometimes get so discourged when she trys and trys to go and doesn't... it even gets to the point where she gets upset at the potty chair and cries whenever she see it and is very clingy when this happens. When that happens i close the door and will let her go about for a few days till she say "I go" and goes running to it!!! I know she is confused about when to go and sometimes just ignores it because she is wrong when she does try... I've tried putting her on the potty every 30 mins or so but that doesn't seem to help!!! I feel this is a heartache for her and worried that it will lower her self estem!!! What do I do to help her know when it truly is time to go???

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Andrea - posted on 04/10/2010

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LOL Katie your not a dork!!! I have sat down with her and she no obsesed with wiping!!! And thanks Susan. I feel like we do have a good Dr for her but I have gotten seconds opinions from other Drs about it... She has been in the emergency room twice with UTI's and saw by 3 diffrent Dr's on those trips and they all said the same thing. I also had her sent to a Gastroentroligest (not sure how to spell that one) for another reason and saw it! Her next appt. I am going to ask for some tips about how to help her potty train but I pretty sure I am going to have to take her to a Urinoligist (agaiin not sure how to spell LOL) to be able to have my questions really answered about this... Thanks for the help!!! Means lots to be able to finilly talk about it and get opinions!!!

Susan - posted on 04/10/2010

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oh andrea,
you sound like you are doing everything right.
have you tried getting a 2nd opinion? i know it's really hard to see your baby suffer. i had a horrible experience with my 1st dr..
all i want to say to you is hang in there,honey.

Katie Pearl - posted on 04/10/2010

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I thought of something else last night.... ok from my expierence children want to immulate their parents... soooo (don't laugh) what if once in awhile you take a fake potty trip with your daughter... I'm sure she's seen you sit down pee, wipe and get up... so that is naturaly what she wants to do... maybe you could sit... and not go... Maybe help her to feel like she is just like mommy... It just might be somethign to try...(i'm a dork) lol xoxo

Andrea - posted on 04/09/2010

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Thanks Susan... she has seen her Dr about this and this is something we have battled since she was 18 months. She is on and off medicine for it but the medicine is almost as bad for her!!!



I pretty good at not looking disapointed when she doesn't go and I always praise her for sittin gon the potty!!! We have a color chart up so everytime she sits on the potty, goes, washes her hands, and so on we get to color something in LOL!!! We do make a big deal (clapping, telling her good girl and singing a potty song) out of her sitting on the potty and trying to go!!! Maybe that is putting presure on her, hadn't thought of that!!!!

Susan - posted on 04/09/2010

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hi andrea,

have you talked to your pediatrician about this?

okay ,maybe you could try to put her on a schedule.for instance.......she has breakfast,about 20 minutes later,you go to the bathroom to put lipstick on[not]

and bring her with you.while your looking in the mirror,ask her if she needs to go.potty.try not to sound anxious.see if she has to go .

or...........you go potty,keep it natural,and relaxed.

if she doesn't think you'll be upset if she doesn't go,maybe she'll relax,and go.

lastly,try to praise her if she tries .even if she doesn't go,try not to look disappointed,and try again.

try to make a point of not making a big deal out of it.

hope this helped yours truly ,susan

Katie Pearl - posted on 04/09/2010

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Your welcome Andrea... hey keep me updated on the potty training... I wish you the best... xoxo

Katie Pearl - posted on 04/09/2010

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well I don't know much about her condition... but I can give you some kind of advice... my son is only about 5 and half months but I was a live in nanny for twin girls for 2 years( potty training, loosing the bottle and pacifiers etc)... I think that encouragement reguardless of wether or not she does need to go is key... if she thinks she needs to go but doesn't, just act like its normal... tell her that maybe the peepee changed its mind and will come again later... Children seem to know when you are stressed about things...so if your not worried she won't be... Eventually she will learn the difference on her own... just be consistent and encourage her to go whenever she feels she should... I know it must be hard but you can't feel the sensations that she is getting when she thinks she needs to potty... eventually she will be able to tell the difference between the sensations she gets from her condition and when her bladder is full ... I hope this helps and I hope someone who has experience with what your going through can give you better advice... Good luck... xoxo

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