Need help getting 17 mo. old son into his crib to sleep!!!

Janice - posted on 12/04/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Cut to the chase:
about 2 months ago, baby boy was waking in the middle of the night crying - the only way he would fall back asleep was to put him in our bed. BOOM - he'd be out. I tried everything - music, reading stories, singing... I sat right next to the crib - all I got was high decibel screaming and sheets of tears pouring down his face.

I would kiss him goodnight and walk out, but he would go on screaming and crying; even trying to get his leg over the side - and I was afraid he was going to hurt himself. another big problem is he is in the same room as his 5 year old sister and she needs her sleep to wake early for school - I am at my wits end. As much as I enjoy sleeping with my darling boy, I know he needs to sleep in his crib - and I need some time with hubby : )

Please please - any advice welcomed!!
Thanks Moms!

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Renae - posted on 12/05/2009

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I think you are going to have to try Tracey Hogg's pick-up/put-down method. Especially since your daughter also sleeps in the room. Lots of info by googling it or you are welcome to private message me for instructions (as best as I can remember them!).



I'm not surprised he screamed with you sitting by the crib, at this age having you there often makes it worse for them than being left to cry, since you are there but they are not getting what they want, you are not picking him up and taking him to your bed, so you being there just makes it harder for him to accept that he has to go to sleep in his crib. Since he screams with you sitting there, I do not think he is a good candidate for control crying either, this will have the same effect and probably make him scream louder. Often with control crying, because you come in and settle, then leave, then come back, then leave, it is very confusing for the baby and each time you leave their initial distress at being left happens all over again.



If pick-up/put-down doesn't work I think the best thing is to let him cry. You say he just screams and screams, it is normal to have up to an hour of crying the first couple of nights, the best you can expect is about 20 minutes. The crying will reduce to little or nothing within 3 to 6 nights. If you do this, remember that just because he is crying does not mean he is distressed, he might be angry at being left, he might be confused about what is going on, these cries do not need you to attend to him, he needs a chance to figure it out for himself. You should only attend to a distress cry. Do some research on cry interpretation or you are welcome to private message me for more info.



Whatever method you use, you can not just do it when he wakes at night, that will not work. You must use the same method for bedtime and day naps, you must be 100% consistent all the time or you will just confuse him.



Maybe your daughter can camp in another room for a few nights while you get the baby sorted out? You are right in saying he needs to sleep in his crib, the older he gets the harder it will get and its not fair on him to let him get used to sleeping with mummy and then expect him to be happy about sleeping alone in his cot. The sooner you get him used to being in the crib all night the better.

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Janice - posted on 12/05/2009

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Thanks Renae!! I will Google pick-up/put-down - and maybe private message you with questions, if that's okay : ) I really appreciate your response, thanks for taking the time! You've been most helpful...

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