Need help with my 7yo son

Kristy - posted on 04/12/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 7 year son will not listen to me nor his father. I'm a stay at home mom, and my husband works 2nd shift, so I have the kids when they get out of school alone. Our son will not listen at all. When I ask him to do his chore he starts screaming saying he doesn't want to do it. Then the stomping starts or slamming his door into his wall, and etc. Ive tried putting him in the corner, time outs, taking away his toys, taking away his privileges such as t.v. and his gamecube. Those only seem to make it worse or it doesn't phase him at all. They only have chores 3 times a week, and they are small chores, such as cleaning their rooms, or folding their laundry. But he puts up a fight every time. I don't know how to get him to stop this behavior, and my husband doesn't know either. He starts with the attitude as soon as he gets home from school, and sometimes doesn't stop until bed. Any advice on what to do?

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Tanya - posted on 04/13/2010

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the only advice i can offer you is that when you take away his toys/privileges, you have to stick to what you say to him, until he startslistening to you. i wouldnt give him it back until he has proven that he can do as hes told. ive kinda been there too with my 7yr old boy. hes getting there.

Kristy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Holding it shut and locking it is the same because we don't leave the door. And as I said, its only when hes coming out after we told him not to to pester his sister

Barb - posted on 04/12/2010

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I'd say take away all entertainment until the chores for the day are done. And whatever rewards you have for good behavior you should make smaller and more frequent. ( for example daily or hourly if nessesary) (a coin jar this money in for good behavior & out for bad) ( extra nice dessert or no dessert) etc.And a word of warning, I think in most countries locking a child in their room could be considered child abuse. I do put my daughter in her room and hold the door shut until she calms down enough to be reasonable though. Good luck!

Jessica - posted on 04/12/2010

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hey kristy,

well my oldest is only 3 so Ive never experienced this, but I will say if my son could talk that well, they'd be one and the same. Mine has terrible tantrums too. How long do you remove the privileges for? Is it only a couple of hours or a day, or do you remove it for a week, or 2? Try removing them for a longer period, cut out any time he spends with friends? What about an allowance? I know it seems weird to offer him a reward after acting like this, but if he's rewarded with something, whether it be at the end of the week, or month, like money, if its weekly or a new game for his cube if its once amonth. Maybe if he sees that if all he has to do are his chores 3 times a week and he gets some kind of payout, he may not really want to do them, but just might so he could be playing that new game or wearing that new shirt he wanted.

Or quite simply, remove any TV, gaming console with accessories and games, basically anything he could have fun with besides a book out of his room "until further notice". If you're ok with the idea, switch the door handle around so that the lock is on the outside, or buy a padlock and stick it to the door and frame. Anytime he starts acting up, send him to his room and lock him in. Check on him every so often to make sure he's alright and not breaking anything, and tell him he can come out when he calms down and he's ready to act like a good boy. Like I said Ive never had to deal with an impossible 7 year old (although I may just be in your shoes in a few years) so if any of my ideas seem harsh or silly, I apologize. I do know how hard it is to have a child that needs an attitude adjustment though!Anyway, thats what I would try, it may take some time, and maybe it wont work cause he smashes too many walls or something. But i tried! :)

Best of luck, and let me know what ended up working and how it goes!

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Kristy - posted on 04/12/2010

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We told them that if they do their chores during the week and behave, then they get a surprise on the weekend. One weekend we took them to see a 3d movie, another we took them out to dinner of their choice and so on, last weekend, only our daughter alexis got a toy because Gavin wouldn't behave. Otherwise, the privileges are taken away until he earns them back.
And we do have his handle switched...we never use it unless he will not listen to us at all when we say your grounded to your room. Normally he will stay in his room and scream, but sometimes he will come out and bang on his sisters door or what not. We just don't know what to do, I'm sorry your 3year old is acting up, and I hope you don't have to deal with this in the future.

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