Need some help

Cassiej19 - posted on 04/07/2018 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 12 years old girl, it started when she was 4 years old I will let her watch TV at night until she fell asleep and when she got older I still let her do that but now she's 12 years old and it's getting worse sometimes she won't fell asleep until 11 or 12 sometimes 1 a.m. and school night so when it's time to wake her up for school she is so tired it takes me 20 to 30 minutes to get her up, and when she comes home and she has homework to do for the next day I tell her to go do it and she tells me no I'll do it later and I say okay. My mom said I'm too soft I need to make her do the homework and turn off that TV at a certain time. But everytime I try to make her she'll throw a fit or scream and yell had to be and she says I hate you Mom. I don't know what time I should turn the TV off and let her know that I mean business. What time you guys think I should turn the TV off? What should I say when she starts to yell at me? What type of tone or voice should I have about doing homework what should I say do you guys have any idea what I should do or say I need help can you guys help me, I tried to turn the TV off I take the controller away but she is still turned off for the back of the TV so I unplugged it and she plugged it back in I cannot take the TV out because it's on the wall. I don't know what to do can someone please help me she is starting to get black rings underneath her eyes

2 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 04/08/2018

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So whenever she throws a tantrum she gets her way, this should have been addressed when she was a lot younger.
All you can do now is stand your ground. YOU make the rules that she has to live by, not the other way around.
It would probably be better to take the TV out of her room altogether until she learns to respect you and your rules.
When she has a tantrum, treat her like the toddler she is being. Walk away and let her know that you will talk to her when she starts behaving her age.
Your Mum is right, you have been too soft on her and now you can see that dealing with an entitled teenager is the worst.
You will also need to set up rules around when homework is done and when she can watch TV. When she gets home from school she can have a snack and then it's time for homework. There is no TV until she has finished. Homework is to be done in a communal area (not in her room) so you can keep an eye on her. She needs to earn freedoms that she has come to expect.
She is going to resist for a long time as she won't be used to you actually enforcing rules. You need to teach her that you are the parent.

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