Need some help with my 2yr old daughter who doesnt want to sleep by herself

Julie - posted on 04/18/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

22

23

1

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter wants me to lay down with her everynight to go to bed. I wouldnt mind it so much if she would go to sleep, but most nights I spend AT LEAST and hour or so in there til she does go to bed. I hate letting her cry it out, but I'm running out of ideas. Does anyone have any ideas as to how to get her to sleep on her own, and stay asleep?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Heather - posted on 04/18/2010

297

20

44

two thoughts:



go the "super nanny" route and just let her cry it out. it's much harder on mommy than it is on little one, and it does work.



i have a friend who gave her daughter "rewards" in the morning for nights spent sleeping "all by herself". she did small amounts of money, candy, special activities, etc. her little one was 5 when they were doing all that, not sure if that makes a difference.



personally, i'd go the super nanny route. always works on the show. lol. =)

8 Comments

View replies by

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2010

69

5

14

See, that is too long! She is suffering as well as you. Little breaks of reasurrment. That is the key to the crying. And mommy, dont give in!!!!!

Julie - posted on 04/19/2010

22

23

1

Thanks girls, looks like I'm gonna have to let her cry. We do kindof have a routine right now. Usually it's snack time at 7pm, followed by baths (my son goes first to get him in bed first) then in their rooms for tv time til 8pm. After that, tv goes off and it's sleepy time. Unfortunatly, my daughter is quite content laying in bed for over an hour with me in it :( I guess I'll try letting her cry. I did it before when she was a baby and it took her 2 hours before I had enough and went in.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2010

69

5

14

After four kids I think I have this one pegged! First of all they really need to learn how to sleep on their own. The tips I am giving you are proven!!! At least for me and several friends that have done this. They are hard on parents but if you stick with it, it will work.


First thing you MUST do is set up a routine. This will clue your child in that it is time for them to go to sleep. Routine, routine, routine!!

Example, read a book, take a bath, what ever and make it your nightly routine. Now, your child is prepped for bed and you are ready for battle!!!!!!

Put little darling to bed and let them cry. No child ever died from crying. Put the little darling to bed and let them cry!!! If they get out of bed, put them back. Gently and nicely, put them back. Tell them it is nighty night, beddy by, sleepy time, whatever. Name the phrase so they know that when you say time for nighty night, they know it is time for bed.

On the first night you start, let them cry for about 10 minutes and then go and comfort them. let them cry and give them another 10 minutes and go and comfort them. This will be tedious, and nerve racking but Soon they will see that you are still there. As the night wears on add 5 minutes or so to your waiting time so that it increases slightly. Eventually, your child will fall asleep. You may need a glass of wine to calm your nerves!!!! LOL

Second night, do the same thing increasing the amount of waiting time. This time you should be waiting between 10 and 15 minutes between checking. Keep to the same thing as the first night. Checking in and waiting longer each time

As the week wears on, you will notice that there is far less crying and a lot more sleeping. You will notice that the time between checking increases and the crying gets less and less. Most often children are good to go within a week but sometimes it takes a bit longer.

Be PREPARED!
The most important element is YOU! You must realize the importance of your child sleeping on their own and hold on to that during this time. A child crying can be so overwhelming it is insane and a new parent will be tempted to go and pick up their child and worse just bring them to bed. This can be even more damaging than if you just let you child sleep with you.

If you give into your child and bring them to bed, you are sending the message that crying is too difficult for you. You will soon find out that they will now use crying as a tool to get what they want in all circumstances. If I cry hard enough, loud enough and long enough, my parents will give me what I want. Unfortunately that is true! Parents who cannot handle their child’s crying will give in. You must realize that before starting this! If you cannot handle the crying then get happy with them sleeping with you.
Hope that helps!
Lisa

Mindy - posted on 04/19/2010

4

9

1

I agree with Heather - drop or shorten the daytime nap. My kids both stopped napping early. My daughter had to cry it out - actually put a baby gate at her door. 2 nights of crying and she went to bed by herself after that. I had to close myself in my bedroom until she fell asleep those first two nights so as not to aggravate her more. Just say good night and leave. Good luck!

Heather - posted on 04/19/2010

297

20

44

is it time to drop a daytime nap, maybe, so she'll be more tired come bedtime??

Medic - posted on 04/18/2010

3,922

19

552

You could be like me and just tell her to go to bed....thats how I do my son and he's an amazing sleeper. I have never laid with him or anything. I do think that the super nanny approach works though but you just have to not give in.

Julie - posted on 04/18/2010

22

23

1

Unfortunatly I'm not sure if rewarding her will work at her young age. I've tried the whole "You gotta go to bed because your friend is coming over" but she doesnt care. I'm so not used to this because I have a 6 yr old son who has always been in bed when he's ready, which is usually by 8pm at the latest. Now my daughter is like her dad, a night owl and it's driving me crazy. I need to get her on a schedule and sleeping good by fall because I'm starting college then.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms