Neighbor troubles!! Need advice

Brandi - posted on 08/10/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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background info:
I recently moved on base with my husband. I new that neighbors tend to be in your business so I was somewhat expecting that. This neighbor is totally all about that apparently. She has cancer and goes to treatments four days a week. Now I felt bad for her because she was obviously kind of sick most days, still is. She has a little girl who is 3 and a 2 month old little boy. Obviously she is married since she lives on base. I thought she was going to be the best neighbor I could ask for since she invited us over for dinner and didn't seem to be to into our business. Then the borrowing started. Not the regular "can I have a cup of sugar" kind of stuff either. She asked to borrow our flat screen tv (my daughter was with her real father and that is her TV and even though she is only 3 she enjoys her TV time in her room right after lunch and then it goes off, I can't stand Mickey Mouse or Dora anymore lol) and I let her borrow that for the weekend. Then it was my vacuum she had that for another day and brought it back full of dog hair.. Then it was my husbands car? I said no because she had her own and it ran fine but apparently her tire was flat, I checked and no flat tire? Then she wanted to borrow $100 to go buy groceries. Me and my husband struggle on his low income as it is and we have to save for stuff like that so I told her no. We didn't have it to give anyway.

I have a 3 year old little girl and I am currently pregnant with a little boy who will be here in December. I told her I would babysit while she was doing her treatments. This was after she told me her treatments only took 2 hours. I told her she didn't have to pay me (only 2 hours right? No big deal). So I started babysitting. The morning of she told me that after her treatments she gets really sick and she wanted to go to sleep when she got home for a little bit. Okay? Sure. But that "little bit" turned into me watching the kids from 7:30am until 5:00pm??! I did not agree to this.. And I feel horrible telling someone with cancer I just can't do it. And to make things worse she sent a bottle of Benadryl over and told me if her kid acts out to give her some and it will knock her out?? What? You want me to drug your toddler? I just laughed at her. Then she brought her kid in... This poor girl looked like a zombie, moving very slow, eyes red and half closed, and wearing a diaper. I asked her why she was wearing a diaper, thinking maybe she still has to sleep in them, she told me she doesn't have the time to potty train her? So as soon as she left I put a paid of my daughters panties on her and told her big girls use the potty. Guess what? No accidents all day long. She pooped and peed in the potty and didn't even fuss. I did notice though when I was showing her how to wipe that her bottom was completely red and blistered (probably from sitting in a wet diaper because her mom won't change it). Where is the dad? Why can't he help potty train? Their son is in nice clean clothes and their daughter is in dirty rags and blisters on her bottom and gets drugged. I need advice. Turns out this mom already has a CPS case open on her and she says she doesn't know why? Obviously someone called for a reason. I don't want to babysit her children. My daughter is going to visit relatives and her bio dad next week out of state And I don't feel like watching two kids while mine isn't even here. If love to sleep in. Am I being selfish? How can I tell her I don't want to watch her kids without her getting mad at me or upset? Should I do something about her openly admitting she drugs her toddler every day even when she doesn't need medication? I'm at the breaking point. My husband says to just quit and I don't know how to do that. Help!

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