new baby conflicts... help!!!

Vicki - posted on 02/17/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




In desperate need of input... I am a 31 year old stay at home mom of two.. We have a five almost six year old and our new little guy which is just hitting three months... My issue is I feel like my husband is in no way shape or form supportive of me at all! He hasn't changed a dyper since our sons been born.. And because I am nursing he doesn't get up with him or go get him when he wakes.. When we are going to go anywhere I have to get both kids ready... He helps a little sometimes with our oldest.. I am in charge of the entire house and making sure bills are paid... For the most part.. We also have two dogs and birds.. And our son is a it colicky and wakes every hour! He's an hourly nurser.. So when I get a break.. Which is usually no more then twenty minutes.. I an usually in dire need of a bath so I run to the bathroom.. Or do what ever picking up I can.. Or what needs to be done... Minding you I also have a six year old that craves attention.. And for the last few days everyone had been sick and babies cutting teeth! So I've gotten behind on laundry and there was about 5 days worth of dishes in the sink.. Not to mention my daughters craft papers on the floor beaches I have been to exausted to do anything... I figured I'd start back up when hail goes to school in the morning... Well my husband was freaking out on me tonight beside I'm behind on laundry and he did the dishes for me and he made dinner a few times not tonight cause he was on a call.. And he washed some of his long underwear for work... Mind you he works midnights so he's rarely hinderd by the baby crying.. He gets to sleep during the day.. And he works midnights and on the FD so he gets to go do training and meetings and has been doing concealed carry classes he's been wanting to do... And I even told him to go have fun with the guys the other day.. Yet I still an getting bashed for not being a perky Suzy home maker.. When he had no idea what I am doing!!! Wait he took care of the house and our daughter and did everything I do after jax was born for two weeks beacuse I hemorrhaged real bad after I had him so I was really week.. And was freaking out cause he couldn't Handel it and kept asking all the time when I was going to get up... I just feel totally overwhelmed and under pressure to be perfect! I can't think straight because I don't sleep.. And our private life has gone down the drain... I have no want to do anything because my best hurt all the time and I'm tired.. But he makes me feel like I'm being a lazy selfish person... What do I do??!!! I'm going to loose my mind... :( help!!


Andrea - posted on 02/18/2014




Wow. I really feel for you, I think you should speak to you husband maybe in the presence of someone he respects(mom, sister,aunt,dad). Remind him how he felt when he did it for those two weeks. Ween the older child to not be so needy. Find activities that the child loves and sit them close to you to work on it. Wet clean face cloths and put them into ziploc bags and into the freezer, give them to your teething child when they are miserable(sounds silly but works like a charm). If you can afford it pay someone to come once a week a do laundry and mop the floors, it will take a lot of you. If not then you need a plan. Sit down and write your biggest five chores down and assign a day to each. I`m giving you this advice without including your husband. I don`t know where he stands but I want to try and help you.. I wish you the best of luck.

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