New here! Anyone else feel like a single mom sometimes?

Alexandra - posted on 12/26/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hey ladies. I am 28 years old and I have a 4 1/2 month old son. I also have a nearly 8
much. I pretty much do everything for baby and he will play with him for 10 minutes here and there. It's hard being alone all those hours and have him not be all that present on Sundays because he's "tired." Granted he works 12 hour days but I work 24/7!
Anyways anyone else feel like a single mom sometimes? Thanks for letting me vent. :)

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Michelle - posted on 12/29/2012

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If he was brought up in a house where the Mother did everything then that's what he is going expect. My husband is 44 so it's not his age that means he has the old fashioned ideals.

Yes you do need to talk to him but I don't know if it will have any effect. I know it sounds childish but go on strike. Don't do any of his washing or cleaning, just do the basics for yourself and your son. Hopefully he will realize that you are an equal in the marriage. I view marriage as a partnership and both partners have to help and support each other.

Lisa - posted on 12/29/2012

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Try talking to him, my husband just didn't know. As soon as we talked and I said I needed help with laundry or clean he helped or we got a sitter so I could get so things done while he was working. Sometimes they just don't realize it unless they are asked to help. No that I ask for help instead of expect it I am much happier with his participation. We have a 17 moth old and a 3 1/2 year old.

Alexandra - posted on 12/29/2012

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Thank you. Your post made me feel like I am totally not being unreasonable. Part of my post got cut off so to fill in: I am 28 and he is 41. We both have a child from a previous relationship but agreed that we were going to give our son (unexpected) the best life possible since we both messed it up the first time. And now I feel like he's messing it up again while I remain dedicated. He thinks that the house and baby are my "job" so he shouldn't have to do anything because he makes the money. That is not what I signed up for. And on top of it, he moved me out of state for his job so I have NO friends or family support whatsoever. I'm starting to get really depressed and lonely. His 20 year old daughter has recently come back into his life and he finds plenty of time to lavish her with meals and gifts and most importantly, his time. While the baby and I sit at home alone day after day. I've tried to talk to him but nothing changers or he finds a way to blame me.
Sorry for the vent I just don't know what to do anymore. Again, thanks for your reply! I really appreciate it.

Michelle - posted on 12/28/2012

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You can vent but ultimately you need to talk to your husband about your feelings. A marriage is a partnership and so is parenting. The house and children should not be the sole responsibility of the Mother since it took both of you to create the children, it takes 2 parents to raise the children. Also everyone in the house makes a mess so everyone is responsible for cleaning it up.

I have a husband and 3 children (aged 11.5, 9 and 3) and everyone does cleaning and tidying up every day! I am not a slave, I am a mother and wife. That job description doesn't say slave. Even my husband knows that he cleans the dishes since I cook and he also does his laundry. We share the children's laundry and I do mine.
My husband is gone for 14 hours a day but still helps out.

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