new mom

Saijra - posted on 05/31/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm a new stay at home mom my boyfriend/baby day works alot, when he's not home it's kinda hard to clean the house and watch the baby any ideas on this. And also when he comes home he spends like 10 mins with her I ask him if he can watch her while I clean and he does but when she gets hungry or needs a dipper changed he asks me to do it or help him. I keep reminding him what he would do if I wasn't home. Any suggestions.

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Jill - posted on 06/02/2015

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You need to change your expectations and get a lot of boxes and bins plus additional tools and supplies.

When my kids were babies, I needed clearly defined systems to keep my sanity. I found space in a storage area in my home to put boxes of stuff I didn't need for those couple of years and then I simplified so there was a lot less to clean and do. For example, when it came to laundry, I focused on sorting things into nice baskets that were strategically placed in various rooms. Socks in one, underwear in another, etc, This way, it was still easy to find stuff, but I didn't have to take the time to fold it all. I had some printed cotton cloth and I used it and some glue to DIY cover some cardboard boxes to decorate them to look like my nursery. Then I lined the boxes up against the wall. One for onesies, one for socks, one for bibs. You could even create some temporary shelves so everything is fully accessible. I found dresser drawers with mixed contents to be a pain in the neck for the babies and for me and my husband. For toys, I only allowed a few at a time. I had lots of little boxes with toys and I rotated them each week. That way there was always less than 10 items to clean around and the kids always thought they had new things. You can also develop simple systems for the kitchen and the dishes.

So that took care of a lot of organizing and tidiness. For actual cleaning I bought extra brooms, dustpans, sponges, and cleaning products and placed them in several rooms in the house rather than in just one location. That way there was always supplies for a quick clean if I had a minute. Each bathroom had a complete set of tools and supplies stored safely in a lockable bin (the need for this depends on the age of the children). If I was brushing my teeth, I would quickly wipe down the sink. If I was using the toilet, I would give the toilet a quick two minute clean when done, the shower was the same. Finding 2 minutes here and there was always easier than finding two hours. You could even create a fridge list of two minute tasks to do and then set up supplies and tools to make them easier to do. To survive the toddler/baby years, I found using systems was a huge help. When the kids grow, it is also very good for delegating tasks to them to help them learn how to do housework and other chores. Now I can say to my two kids, I need 90 minutes of housework and they go and find about 10-20 small tasks to do and at the end of it, my house is spotless.

Rather than asking your man to help in a general way, give him specific tasks to do such as wipe down the counter or quickly clean one shelf in the fridge. Call them two-minute tasks and always be very thankful. I have never known women to need to be thanked for chores, but men definitely do.

Hope that helps.

Saijra - posted on 06/02/2015

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My house was always clean up until I had her now I just can't find the time to clean he doesn't really complain about how messy it is but I can tell he's aggravated

Brooklyn - posted on 06/01/2015

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I know the feeling. I'm 20 and I take care of 5 kids... My husband works 3 weeks at a time so it makes it difficult. To get daily chores done I make my kids have nap time and quiet time in their rooms. Doesn't always go as planned but it definitely helps.

Alicia - posted on 05/31/2015

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Girl i feel you i go through this all day everyday though my husband does help with the chores but I'm responsible for taking care of the baby. Which sometimes drives me crazy & i get stressed out & depressed.

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