New mom.....any advice on anything/everything from the vetern moms? =)

Elizabeth - posted on 06/08/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I'm a new mom, daughter is 7 weeks today, and I am also a sahm (of course or I wouldn't be here lol). I just was curious to see if there was any tips or advice some of you experienced moms would like to share with a me or any other new mommies.

And if there are any that had bedrest the entire pregnancy or almost the entire pregnancy that have tips on getting back in the groove of not being in bed, that would be super great!

Thanks in advance and congrats on being a mom :)

25 Comments

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Joan - posted on 06/14/2010

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i would say remember in the back of your mind,you are raising a future young lady. not just a baby,toddler,teen. so make sure your decisions create the kind of person you would like her to be.also always make decisions with the best intent.i have told my kids several times that things may not have worked exactly as i thought they would but whatever decisions i made i made with the intent to help.

good luck

Amy - posted on 06/14/2010

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Just remember there is one thing you can give your little girl that is free is your LOVE. and no matter how hard thing get she will always make you smile.

Claire - posted on 06/13/2010

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get yourself and your baby into a routine that suits you. the baby will soon settle into it. then once your ready go face the world with pride show off your little one. with the routine you will know what you have to do at certain times it really helped me. my son has had a routine from day 1 by day 3 he had settled into it now he is nearly 8months and such as happy little man ( as everyone comments on this) hope this helps xx

Melissa - posted on 06/13/2010

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I have a 7 year old and 2 year old. Make sure you sleep when she sleeps. Don't freak when she sleeps through the night for the first time. I know I did that with my oldest. Take time for yourself when you can. I don't even get it that often and my kids are older. Just enjoy her they do grow up way to fast. Before you know she will be walking and talking. I'm trying to figure out where the last 7 years have gone.

Deanna - posted on 06/12/2010

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Congratulations!!!
I was on bedrest for 6 months. Start slowly, don't overdo it. As for the mommy stuff, if you have "What to expect the first year." Throw it out!!!!! It will only make you paranoid. Pick and choose your advice (LOL after my last 2 sentences). You will discover what works and doesn't for you and your little one.

Krista - posted on 06/12/2010

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I've been a STAHM for just over ten years now to three wonderful boys, ages 10, 7, and 2. I would say that the thing that makes a "full time" mom happiest, is a schedule. I am not talking a military operation, but a schedule that works for your life. You will lose your sense of self and get depressed if you don't have things outside of the home to look forward to. Also, you will feel great if you get things accomplished around the house every day. Don't expect perfection from yourself, just make a list of what needs to be done every day, once a week, etc, and what you'd really like to do. Start every day with a shower, or make sure you take one every night before bed. New moms often put themselves so far down on the to do list that they let themselves go before they even realize it. That is a sure recipe for depression! Taking care of your own basic grooming needs is NOT selfish, it's a must if you are to stay mentally healthy, and that is worth the time and effort. So basically, try to start every day in a real outfit, get a few things done when it works for you and your baby, and get out every day and talk to another adult besides you DH. :D
Join a NICE mommy's group asap! This is your lifeline for as long as you are at home. If the first one you try is not friendly, try another. I was in three before I found the right one for me! You will be so much happier if you have a group of mommies to get together with every week. It really takes you from being all alone to part of a club of mommies! Also, your baby will make friends, and will love it too. Try to get a babysitter at least once a month, even if you just go to the bookstore for two hours! You need to remember you were a couple before you were parents. If you don't spend "out" time together, it will be harder to make it through all of the trying times with children. It helps you to remember you both signed up for this life, and you are a team! :D
Take turns going out alone, or with your own friends. You are blowing off steam in a positive way rather than at each other. Find a hobby, or pick up an old one that just makes you happy. Art is great for stress relief. Also, being a STAHM is really cool if you learn to embrace it! Channel your inner Donna Reid and put on an apron and make something yummy! My husbands friends all have wives that work and bring in extra income. Guess who their all jealous of? My husband! lol Because they know he comes home to a happy home that is taken care of and I am crafty and bake and cook like a pro! I have learned to be a happy homemaker and do the things working moms don't have time for. I only do what i'm intersted in, you can do the same. We knew we wanted our children to be blessed with a present parent at all times, and I want to make the best of it. Oh, one more thing, exercise! You will be happier, more fit and sleep better. I hope this helps! p.s.-I was 20 when I had my first son, and I am now 30, so I am a young mommy too! ...and I am college educated, we just have very traditional values. :D

Lea - posted on 06/12/2010

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Everything they said, plus, the first thing I started doing was stretching!! and walking everyday.

Krysta - posted on 06/12/2010

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Congrats on the new little one! Being a new mommy definetely has its challenges and is a life-altering, forever-changing new definition of who you are. I have some advice based on my experience - maybe it will help you:
1) Breastfeed. I didn't breastfeed my first and breastfed my second and it really did make a huge difference.
2) Start rice cereal around 4 months old. Just do it once during the day in between two feedings and then gradually give more until she's 5 months and then start introducing other baby foods (sweet potatoes, squash, etc)
3) Put baby in her crib for naps and for the night. Don't co-sleep. We co-slept with our first and she's still in our bed! Its a hard habbit to break. With our second we made sure he slept in the crib and he sleeps 10hrs straight through the night and he's only 6 months old!
4) If your baby is fussy and she's been fed, is clean, and dry, and doens't have a dirty diaper try to following things: Check toes, fingers for any hairs that are wrapped around them, check the clothing she's wearing for anything that could be irritating her skin, open the door and step outside with her to let her get some fresh air, take her for a walk, let someone else hold her for a change (sometimes they just need another face to stare into), take her temperature (to make sure there's no fever), give her a new toy to chomp on, hold her and rock her. Usually one of these things is the problem
5) Remember to rest when the baby is resting. I know that you see a million things that need to be done and once the baby is down you're hurrying to complete that to-do list but trust me, that will catch up with you fast. No one expects a new mommy to have a perfectly clean house and the to-do list complete. Relax when she is relaxing.
6) Dont make a big fuss over every little whine your baby makes. Babies make noises and sometimes its nothing. Let them figure out how to self-soothe.
7) SELF-SOOTHE. This is SO important! Babies need to learn how to calm themselves down without mommy. I'm not saying that you should let her cry-it-out. Sometimes my little guy is a little whinny when I put him in his crib for his nap and I just leave him in there for a bit and 70% of the time he whines for less than a minute and then puts himself to bed. He hates binkies so this helps him in the self-soothing learning process
8) Always bring a change of clothes, diapers, wipes, and hand-sanitizer with you everywhere you go! However be aware that once baby gets a little older and starts getting into things hand sanitizer is very dangerous. It has a high concentration of alcohol and can actually alcohol poison a child very quickly. Make sure its only you using it and you keep it out of the reach of baby
9) take baths with baby! It's fun, easier, and bonding. Enough said!
10) If baby is really fussy and you've tried lots of things also try: changing the laundry detergent to a dye and perfume-free choice and try a different diaper. My little guy is extremely sensitive so we have to use the softest gentlest diapers and laundry detergent
11) They grow so fast...try to enjoy every second you're with that little one. Even when they're fussy and up all night. One day, you'll miss it.
12) If you dont already have one, get a moby or sleepy wrap. They're the same thing just a different brand. It's a baby-wearing device that is basically 5 yards of a stretch fabric. Look it up online. They seriously make life SO much easier. I vouch for them. If you're tight on $$, for less than $25 you can make your own (actually two) buy going to a fabric store and purchasing 5 yards of a stretch fabric. Cut that fabric in two lengthwise and you've got two moby wraps for $25 or less! Seriously, they're the best best best thing ever!
13) Sunscreen! But not until the baby is 6 months old and older
Oh man this list could go on and on and my mommy-time is over!
Good luck!

Amber - posted on 06/11/2010

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Being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you always have to stay home, that's my advice. I've been a stay at home mom for nearly 4 years, I was on bed rest when I was pregnant for about 7 weeks. I wanted to get out of the house once my little guy was born! And it was so good for me. It helps me to feel more relaxed at home and to not resent my position....it keeps me sane! lol
Make sure you don't lose your friends because you've become a mom and make sure you take time for yourself (without the baby or spouse). It helps. You need to keep a part of you just for you :)
Enjoy being a mommy and congrats!

Ali - posted on 06/11/2010

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My advice is try not to listen to too much advice! But, I will say this... Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you have any kind of support system in place (and you need one)... husband, family, friends... don't be afraid to ask them for help. Don't feel that you have to do it all by yourself. That doesn't equal being a good mom. You don't have to be Super-Mom. In fact, you only need to be Good-Enough-Mom. Really! All we can do is our best. We're all human. You will make a lot of mistakes and your baby will be fine! Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff. This from the chick that said don't listen to advice. I guess what I really mean is listen with a grain of salt. Take what makes sense to you... what feels comfortable and right for you and throw the rest out the window. Some advice just won't jive with you and that's okay. Trust your motherly instincts. They are rarely wrong! And have as much fun as you possibly can. It's a helluva lot of work and a fairly thankless job overall, but in hindsight you will be SO happy you had this special time together. Enjoy!

Kathy - posted on 06/11/2010

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Don't forget to take a deep breath every day, and remember that every day with you beautiful daughter is a chance to bond for life,no two moments are the same,and they grow up so quick.... you don't truely know what love is until you have had your own children... it's such a blessing.. good luck...

Farah - posted on 06/10/2010

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WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW BESIDES THAT I WAS NOT ON BED REST BUT TO LOSE THE WAIGHT FAST TO GET YOU IN THE GROVE I S TO WALK AND TO EAT RIGHT MY BABY WILL BE A YEAR OLD TUSEDAY YOU WILL GET THERE YOU CAN MESSAGE ME AT BABYANGELSMOMMA@ATT.NET IF YOU WANT TO TALK

Alicia - posted on 06/10/2010

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im not expierienced in the least. haha. this is my first. she was born in August, so will be 10 months on the 19th. they grow so fast dont they? she sits, crawls, stands, furniture walks, and can take a few steps on her own. she is a monster. haha. anything around she will grab down and play with (as im typing this she is by my sliding glass door playing with the blinds) the first 3 or 4 months i guess was the hardest with us because it was just me. my husband was deployed for her birth and the first few months. i was on bed rest for the last 3 months. pre eclampsia(sp?) nautral birth, took about 6 weeks to feel completely better. my advice i guess to you would be, sleep when you can, enjoy every smile, laugh, giggle and coo. dont worry if the house is immaculate(sp?) because this time now you will NEVER get back. enjoy the nice weather and the new addition to your family. oh and and poop only gets worse with solids. haha. :)

-Alicia and almost big girl Gracie :)

Annette - posted on 06/10/2010

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Don't go crazy spending money...they grow fast....When they throw up all over their onesies...soak them to get the stains out. Use baby detergent....my 11month old is using stuff my 10 year old used to wear and that my 3year old used to wear and they still look new. Don't waste money on too much stuff...kids like it simple...keep them on the floor (just keep that floor clean). The most important peace of advice....DON'T DO BABYTALK or talk down to your kid...they are sponges with better ability to retain information...oh yeah and don't buy a coat...get the bundleme from JJCole...its so much easier then putting on the coat and taking it off and they are soooooo warm in that.

Raelene - posted on 06/10/2010

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First of all, Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy! I have been looking back at my children's baby books remembering what life was like when I only had one, I now have three under the age of four. I became a stay at home mommy in 2005. It will be the toughest and most rewarding job I will ever do. Take it slow... make priorities. Of course, your baby will probably be at the top of the list, but don't neglect yourself and don't forget your husband. He may not have the same physical limitations as you do right now, but he is new at this parenting thing too. Remember, you had about 9 months of parenting before he started his training. :O) Also, he will be there AFTER the kid(s) are grown and you will want to nurture that relationship as much as you can.
Every child is different, from looks to personality to eating habits and learning styles. You will learn to be a parent as you go along. I feel that I learn new things about EACH of my children daily. LEARN TO LAUGH at your children and at yourself. A sense of humor will go a long way. Cuddle... as much as you can. Give lots of hugs and kisses, and tell them all the time that you love them no matter what forever and always. Definately accept help if offered, ask for help if needed, seek help in times of crisis. I had some times of depression right after I had my children, and my second son was in the hospital at two weeks with a rare condition. These were times when I was very glad for a support system in my family and my friends.
NO MATTER WHAT... enjoy every minute of being a Mommy. There is nothing else like it in the world. And, your child will always be yours, not someone elses... meaning, you know best what is best for you and your baby. Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 06/09/2010

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I have learned with my 3 kids .. when they sleep, you sleep, if you can't sleep at least relax and if someone offers to help, accept it... also don't over do a lot, take your time and as soon as you get clearance from the dr.. start walking, exercising, find a mommy and me class, just get out and about and also take time for yourself.. if your not in top shape (health, mental, emotional) then you can't be there effectively for your child.
hope this helps.. and please don't hesitate to ask questions thats why we are all here.. to have someone to talk too.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/09/2010

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I have a 3 1/2 yr old and a 4 month old. All I can say is enjoy every moment they grow way to fast. I never thought the sleepless nights would end with my first, but with my 2nd I can see now that the baby stage is over before you know it. Just lots of hugs and kisses and dont worry about the housework so much because it will always be there but your babies wont always be little.

Melanie - posted on 06/09/2010

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first on was on bedrest with two of my kids. my second child i started having contractions at about 17 weeks and spend the rest of it laying down. ick. as far as getting back into the groove goes, i would recommend going slowly. i tried to jump back in too quickly and i feel like what i really did was set myself back. now some things i wish i knew. breastfed babies tend to slow down severely with the poopie diapers at that age. it really surprised me and i was soo worried. almost took her in. heheheh. i would have felt so ridiculous. another is a backed up nasal passage can lead to ear infections. another is not to beat yourself up over things you cant controll. like having your heart set on nursing and having to bottle feed instead. which lead into the next, breastfeeding is a learned skill. it is absolutley not instinct. if you dont know someone who you can hang out with when the nurse then it will be very difficult to learn. also that babies and smaller kids fevers run higher than bigger kids or adults say 103 is not OMG shes gonna die kind of a temp. oh and if you have boys feet and heads bleed and i mean bleed even if its just a small cut. never under estimate how smart your child is or you will get taken on a regular basis. finally the best advise i can give any one was given to me by someone i really trust as a mom. she said to trust my instincts when it comes to my kids. not my mom, my mother in law, my dad, my sister, the dr..... no one knows your kid like you know your kid.

Erin - posted on 06/09/2010

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If you have clearance from your doctor to be active I highly sugest you see if there are any Mommy and Me exercise groups in your area. Personally I workout with Stroller Strides (www.strollerstrides.com) and it have a wonderful way to slip in a workout, socialize with other moms, and provide my little one time with other children his own age.



I'm a mother of 4, and I try to remember that you need a break to and it's OK to ask for help, you don't need to be SUPER mom ALL the time.

Mandie - posted on 06/09/2010

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I was on light bed rest for my pregnancy, but before the doctors told me to, I had been sleeping for 14 hours a day anyways. It was a tough go! What you have to do is work your way into it slowly.

For starters, you could try going on short walks, maybe once every day or two, just around the block. For me, the fresh air and just the fact that I was showing myself that I was able to get out and about with a new baby helped me feel more optimistic about getting out and kept me wanting more. Your legs will definitely get stronger pushing that stroller around too!

You might want to see if there are any baby groups nearby, having a once or twice a week commitment might help motivate you if that's the problem. I also had my daughter in swimming lessons once she hit 4 months old, that was AMAZING! It was a really great way to get out, be active, meet new people, and keep my daughter entertained as well.

Judy - posted on 06/09/2010

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Take it slow and enjoy every minute of your daughter. They grow too fast but the bonding time you have now will last forever. Do not feel guilty or compare yourself to others. Pay attention to details and you will discover what your daughter's own normal is and that it is okay but listen to your gut instinct. If she just looks different or smells different or acts different but no one else can see it - follow your instinct. That is why it is important to really know your own child. Enjoy it. They are a gift.

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The only thing I would advise as a SAHM try to not freak out or stress out over things. With my first everytime ANYTHING went wrong like a sneeze or cough I was a mess thinking she was SUPER sick. Remember to just take things one day at a time! Your child does and look how happy they are!

Vanessa - posted on 06/09/2010

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i was on bedrest myself with my twins and it was hard.. and one thing i learned from my first pregnancy is that going for a walk with your baby is a great way to reduce stress and getting good exercise.. have fun :)

Christy - posted on 06/08/2010

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Was on bed rest for the last 4 months of an 8th month pregnancy for both kids. All I can say to get back in the groove is to walk outside. Short distances at first, adding on week to week. Of course take your baby with you in a stroller. Maybe at the same time you can meet new moms to hang out with. That's what I did!!!! good luck!

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