New Mommy of twins going CRAZZZY

Stephanie - posted on 01/20/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I love being a stay at home mom my twin boys are 6 weeks old. I feel like Im going crazy though. i have mommy day once a week so far. They were premature so cant get out because of their high risk of getting sick. I have school to do and i need to find a part time job just 4 hours a day im so stressed out theyre starting to cry all day long i try to keep my attention equal but not spoil them i cant hold them both 24/7 i cant clean my house until 12 or 1 am!!!=( help what can i do!!!?

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Lori - posted on 01/27/2010

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i'm a twin mommy too, mine are 6 months. i remember how HARD it was at that time! i remember crying my eyes out one day because i felt so guilty that i had to leave one crying in his crib while i attended to the other & how guilty i felt for not being able to hold them both as much as they wanted or i could have had i only had one. you are still hormonal! like the other moms say, get as much rest and sleep as you can. your babies won't benefit or suffer because your house was untidy. focus on what's good or bad for them, the rest will fall into place. we had a rule here: you come visit the babies, you bring food for mom & dad. it helped. another thing that will help is to prepare or have someone prepare a big batch of chili, stew, lasagna, sheperd's pie whatever & freeze it up in the portions you need. we used disposable dishes for the first while so dishes were kept to a minimum. i agree with prev. posters that caffine is ok, i still breastfeed & drink coffee everyday.
at 6 weeks ours had an increase in their hunger levels. eventualy i had to suppliment with formula because it was killing me to BF them both all day & night. as a prev. poster said, (i know it sounds NUTS) but, feed both at the same time, even if it means waking one up to do so. you are not a bad mom for thinking of putting them in daycare! if you are concerned, go check it out first. any reputable day care will let you observe the workers before entrusting them with your little ones.
we're here for support =)
good luck! & try to love even the hard times cuz, oh man, does it go fast!

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2010

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I have twins too! Mine were not premature, but I still do not get out much with them b/c of H1N1 and RSV. You will NOT spoil them if you hold them, and as hard as this phase of your life is, it WILL get easier in a few months... They will sleep longer, eat more at once and less frequently, and will be able to play without you very soon. Hang in there, it DOES get better. Please make sure you are getting at least a couple of nights of solid sleep per week, and there's nothing wrong with caffiene - even if you are breastfeeding. I still nurse my babies even when I've had 4 cups of coffee. Have someone come fold your laundry and attend to the babies while you nap. My secret to sanity was to find ways to get plenty of sleep, and a shower every now and then won't hurt! Message me if you need some support, my twins are now 7 months old :)

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Debbie - posted on 01/27/2010

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One thing my mum had always told me is that u cant spoil a baby untill about 9 months old, if u want to cuddle ur babies then cuddle them. my son is 5months old now and i dont know where the time had went. just leave the house it isnt goin anywhere, u have twins to look after people will understand. i got a swing for ma son and it was the best thing i got, letting them cry doesnt hurt them either. just relax and enjoy them cause not before long they will be destroying ur house.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/26/2010

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I dont have twins but my daughters are only 10 months apart. having them so close in age was the best thing my hubby and i did now that they are older 4 and 5 they are best friends. but for awhile i couldnt get anything done around the house if you need help dont be afraid to ask for it cause i thought i was super mom and started getting backed up on washing cloest . cleaning house etc to this day i still havent got caught up on everything. you are blessed and just enjoy while you can

Ashley - posted on 01/26/2010

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Ask your parents to help when your at work, and a couple hrs so you could do house work and stuff... I have twin boys and I feel like I am doing it all on my own, but my stepmom helps out a lot, but it still seems like I cant do everything. I choice not to work and stay home, so I have more time with my boys.

Stephanie - posted on 01/23/2010

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Thank you i really try to juggle everything and it brought me down i took the babies to their nannys house yesterday from 4 til 930 it really helped me i got my house popped back into place and picked up my friend from the bus station i just felt i get refreshed from the stress

Carolee - posted on 01/21/2010

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Have a friend or relative help with the cleaning... and by "help" I mean "do"!!! Also, see if someone can come over and watch them while you take a nap or a bath or something. Sorry to say, but it gets worse, so take care of yourself now. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. All moms need help in the beginning, and you have double-duty with twins. But seriously, screw the cleaning for a while!

Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2010

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My twins are 4 now and I don't want to say that it gets easier. I tell everyone that it is different kind of hard. They are becoming more independent which is great but now they speak their own minds too. They also fight a lot more. One the other hand when they are playing nice it is great. They have started preschool which has given me a chance to catch my breath. Don't feel bad if you need a break. You are not a bad mother because you need to do other things. There is life outside your home. If your worried about germs and such try to find a home sitter that could watch them for a few hours or even a college girl. I have a 14 year old girl that comes and just plays with my kids and help take care of them even when I'm home. That gives me some freedom to do household things but I feel like I'm here if something was to happen.

Amber - posted on 01/21/2010

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ha and I have a wonderful lady who comes over every tuesday she helps me get things picked up and if I need to run errands I can take off!! I LOVE TUESDAYS!! see if you can find a nanny or someone from church that loves babies and helping around the house .... don't be afraid to ask for help moms will understand one is alot to handle let alone twins on your first try! i am sure your a great mother!

Amber - posted on 01/21/2010

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I have Six kiddos... 7,3,2,1 and twin girls 8mo... when the twins came i and my husband had to come to an agreement that the house just wasn't as important as the kids and our alone time when they went to bed was ours or 30 min bust a move cleaning time then enjoy ourselves together.... he loaded the dishwasher in the morning and if kids were up he would spend a 30 min with them till he needed to leave so I could sleep that much more.....getting up at night is harsh when it is multiple times and i finally started feeding them both when one got up I got the other up that seemed to keep down on the getting up a little. I had to tell him i NEED your help so I can stay a happy mommy! it gets better! need to chat find me here or on facebook~ Amber Santovi

Stephanie - posted on 01/21/2010

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Thanks for the great advice! unfortuanatly i have NO FAMILY OR FRIENDS HERE im from the city and met my bf through a friend then moved 300 miles with him where he is from his family is here but have lifes to handle themselves i have just started to let them cry their dr said the same fed cry safe let them cry it helps there lung i love this mom circle because it makes me feel so good to be able to get what i got on my chest out their daddy helps but works so much i have ANOTHER QUESTION would it be LAZY/Bad mother of me to concider day care a few hours a day in a few months? im scared GERMS/LICE/BAD TREATMENT... but 4 or 5 hours a couple days a week is SCHOOL/SOCIAL/HOUSE CLEANING for me any inputs on this theory?

Suzanne - posted on 01/21/2010

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Hang in there! My twin girls will be a year old on Sunday, but I have SOOOO been where you're at right now. Two babies will drive you insane at times. My girls were 6 weeks early, so we were housbound for a couple of months as well. A couple of ideas that got me through the early months: 1. Sleep whenever they take a nap, or just lay on the couch doing nothing. You have 2 babies, don't have such high expectations of getting anything productive accomplished. 2. Only clean your house enough to get you by - as long as everyone has clean clothes, food to eat, & a bathtub to sit it in, remember that unless the Queen of England is coming to dinner, the rest of the house can wait. Have your husband/bf help out more as well. The twins are now your full time job, so he's going to have to pitch in for while. 3. Understand that BABIES CRY & it's OK - if your boys are fed, dry, & safe, it's OK for you to put them in their crib for 15-20 minutes while you go get something done. The boys will learn to soothe themselves & learn that you CAN'T pick them up every time. I use my I-Pod to listen to Books on Tape or music just so I have something besides crying to hear.

Have friends or family over when you can. It makes life easier just having somebody to talk to or hold a baby. And it DOES get better. Soon you'll settle into a routine & they'll come to know their own schedule, so just enjoy them while their little. Keep in touch!

Brittany - posted on 01/20/2010

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ask for help for everything! i stay up that late tryin to get stuff done too and i end up to tired the next day its worse so i learned to go to bed and get it done the next day. its the only thing i can do cause my bf works nghts and sleeps during the day so on his days off i run around like crazy lol but def ask for help u dont want to get so stressed out that it messes up your time with your boys we have all been there! hope u find something to help

Caryn - posted on 01/20/2010

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Forget the cleaning. Your lil guys are MUCH more important than folding a load of laundry. If you can try to get them napping at the same time, then utilize nap times for mommy-time. You can fold that load of laundry, throw some dishes in the washer, do some homework, or even take a nap!!!! Staying up till 12-1AM is not going to help. I would suggest aiming to be in bed around 10 or so. Yes I know with newborns you will have to get a up quite a bit at night but the more sleep you can get the better.

Do you have a partner or someone that can help you? Dealing with 1 newborn is hard enough, I can't imagine 2!!! I would suggest whoever you have around, accept help from them. You are just one person and while us moms sometimes think we can carry the world, fact is we can't. You need help so don't be afraid to ask for it.

Congrats on your new lil bundles!

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