New SAHM needs relationship help

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

I'm a new SAHM as I am 12 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby. Oldest child is 2. Since I've become a SAHM my partner has just reverted back to the 50's way of living and expects that because he is the only one working, that's all he needs to do. We've been arguing lately and I've still got really bad morning sickness vomiting and nausea. Cooking is the worst for me due to the smells, so I asked my partner to cook until I feel better and he just outright said no because what if I feel better and don't tell him then he'll still be cooking. And reason number two was he's too tired when he gets home from work. Since then I've been feeling down and trying to talk to him why he doesn't think supporting myself and our son during my pregnancy is important and he said "it's your problem not mine so stop dragging me into your depressing shit gee just talk about happy things and it will be algood" How can I get him to see I need support? Or am I being unreasonable and my pregnancy hormones are just playing tricks on me?

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Lisamarie - posted on 07/17/2012

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Your partner needs to step up and be a man. He put that baby there. I am very early into my 3rd pregnancy and like you cannot stand the smell of cooking, my hubby works full time and still cooks for me and our 5 and 3 year old.
Maybe you could get him a book for men on pregnancy so he knows what you're going through?
Whatever happens I personally would not put up with that behaviour, if you let him get away with it now it will continue and get worse.
Good luck :-)

Kim - posted on 07/16/2012

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You are not being unreasonable at all, your opinions matter and he should be stepping up and doing equal amounts of work with the house and baby (i'm in a kind of similar situation, 9m old & currently almost 15 weeks pregnant), my story has a bit more too it but i can most def. relate. Best of luck to you and I hope your pregnancy symptoms improve soon!

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Lindsey - posted on 07/18/2012

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Ive been a SAHM since I became pregnant with my 1st, I have 4 kids now, and my husband has ALWAYS helped me when I need it. Most nights we share dinner responsibilities as a way to spend time together while the kids play. He works full time and I understand hes tired when he gets home so I try to not ask too much of him. But when I really need the extra help, and hes equally exhausted, I remind him what exactly it is that I do all day or tell him what I would be getting paid if I were doing all of this for another family. That ususally get him off the sofa.
He helped create the children, he should help where he can and stop acting like everything should rest on your shoulders. Youre pregnant, youre sick, and if your doctor puts you on bed rest at some point your husband isnt going to know what to do with himself. He should get used to sharing some responsibilities before it bites him in the butt.

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