new stay at home mom

Jessica - posted on 08/29/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

74

38

25

Hey all! i'm a new stay at home mom. my daughter is 3 months old. i love being with her and taking care of her all day...but i'm not sure being a stay at home mom is for me...should i give it more time?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michele - posted on 08/29/2009

5

13

3

YES!!!! It is VERY difficult to get into the stay-at-home swing of things, but it's like anything else it takes time to adjust! It's not for everyone, but you won't know if you haven't given it a try!! Have you looked up play groups, or early years centers in your area?? Sometimes hearing other women going through what you are, AND getting you and baby out of the house is all you need!! Good luck!!!

Mary "Jeana" - posted on 08/29/2009

28

16

2

Yes, give it more time. You need to rest while you can and take care of you. Remember if MOMs not happy no one is happy. When baby is sleeping, sleep if your tired, there is nothing wrong with that. Do things you loved doing before you became a wife and a mother. What are your hobbies? Or Work from home. I have been a stay at home mom for over 13 years. Kept busy with my house and all the chores. Finally decided to take care of me and help out with $. The company I chose has a very low start up cost. I couldn't believe it. I am my own boss, I make my own hours. I take kids to school, work, take a lunch break, work, pick up the kids from school, spend time with them, make dinner, help with homework, have dinner with my husband and family and then go back to work, talk with my kids when they need to talk. I fit everything into my day. I am a happier ME because I feel like I'm doing more than just cleaning the house and tending to my family. I am doing this for ME. The company I work with has been in business for over 22 yers and is in good standing with the better business bureau. checkout www.greenchildmom.fourpointmoms.com email me your number and I will call you and we can talk. No pressure. Good luck and take care of you first. Mary

This conversation has been closed to further comments

14 Comments

View replies by

Naomi - posted on 09/02/2009

9

9

0

I am a new stay at home mom too. My daughter is 6 months old. I love being at home with her but am a very social person and find the isolation factor very difficult. I have always said that I will stay home with my kids so instead of debating my decision I decided to put my effort into making it a great experience. I joined a mom & tots group (even though I didn't know anyone to start) I signed up for mom and baby gym classes. There are tons at city recreation centers and they are very affordable. I put a large effort into going out and being around others. It was really hard at first as I didn't know anyone and it is hard to put yourself out there but other moms need friendships too. Now I am having a wonderful time with my daughter and I am not isolated every day. It was totally worth the effort. I would encourage you to see what is making it hard to be at home at try to fix just that factor and see if you don't enjoy it more. Also, your daughter is 3 month old as she gets a little older it gets easier.

Jill - posted on 09/01/2009

1

3

0

hey there! i became a inhome daycare provider after my 3rd child was born and ya u LONG for adult conversation and interaction but i have a k and 2nd grader and it is so nice to see them off to school and b there when they get home and take them to all there activities. at 1st i went crazy but now i cant imagine not being her for them!! hope that makes u feel better!!!!

Tamlyn - posted on 09/01/2009

11

10

0

Three months is a hard stage. For me, it was the hardest part so far, including the labor! My son is 5 months now and I am enjoying this time with him far more every day. My son started teething at about 3 months, and he was so fussy and miserable. That is also when they nap much less during the day and the work seems to be unending! Some days I feel like I am not connected to the outside world! I have found his "contraptions" to be VERY helpful: swing, exersaucer, bumbo, and play gyms give him lots of places to hang out so he isnt bored. I find that when I sit on the floor next to him, he will play happily and I can fold laundry or sort bills or (finally!) have a phone conversation. My son responds incredibly well to music and music videos, and it is a great way to help the mood and passage of time. My kid likes rock and the blues, and especially anything sung by a woman. Getting out of the house, even just outside, really seems to help my mood as well as his. I really hope you are able to enjoy being a SAHM. Before you know it, your baby will be off to school and then this time will be gone forever.

Libby - posted on 09/01/2009

10

22

0

I say definitely give yourself more time. There is nothing more important than giving your child YOU. It's hard sometimes yet so rewarding. A friend once said "You never get those years back with your children. In ten, even twenty, years you won't remember your boss, or your clients and chances are they won't remember you either. All the awards and promotions won't mean a darn thing when your children move onto college and you're left with an empty house." I've been a stay-at-homer since before I found out I was pregnant with my first child and when I have one of those days where I feel lonely and discouraged I think to myself, "I'm the greatest gift I can give my child." So many little ones are stuck crying at daycare for the mother they desperately want to be held by (especially when they are sick and need to see a doctor, but mommy's too busy at work to take them). If there's one book I recommend to women who are struggling with whether or not to have that career or stay at home this would be it, "Home-Alone America" by Mary Eberstadt. I hope you do give yourself time to get into staying at home... like I said the most wonderful gift you can give your child is you. :-)

Fab - posted on 09/01/2009

1

22

0

Yes, give it more time. Go to playgroups and socialise with other mothers. Dont just stay home. YOu will enjoy being home more, if you are both out and doing things rather than just looking at the four walls. And your daughter in never to young to start playgroups. My daughter started at 12 weeks, and we love our weekly outing.

Nancy - posted on 08/31/2009

9

36

0

Yes! Give it more time, please. Staying home may not give you a paycheck or visible, quantifiable results, but it will give your child YOU! God chose YOU to be that babies mama, no one else. (I have four kids and have been every combination of working full and part time over the last 10 years) In my opinion, it takes at least 3 months to get into a routine of being at home. Some things that helped me are 1) Finding a MOPS group, 2) Planning menus, 3) Scheduling naps (for you) and UNPLUG THE PHONE!

Ok, that's my two cents, I gotta go get my kids lunch!

Jeanne - posted on 08/30/2009

21

11

0

I am a new stay at home mom too. A long as I could remember I always wanted to stay home. But I feel like I am going crazy at times now. But I also have a horrible time when I think of leaving Ethan, who is almost 3 months old, with someone to see all his firsts or even that someone might hurt him (lots of bad nanny and babysitter stories out there). I am lucky to have my mother in law and grandma to talk to about being a stay at home mom.



If you would like to you could add me as a friend and we can keep in touch via facebook. Just for some support if you would like. Its always nice to have friends especially ones who understand :) Good luck and just hang in there.

Jane - posted on 08/30/2009

1,488

32

227

she's not very amusing yet at 3 months. so as she gets older you'll either enjoy it more or enjoy it less since she'll be on the move and need more attention and work. do what's right for you.

Kattie - posted on 08/30/2009

128

15

14

I am just becoming a stay at home mom as well. I think I will be okay because I have my thing still. I dance two nights a week, and it gives me adult time away from the house. My daughter will also be dancing with me in December in the Mommy and Me class. I make sure we have things to do outside of the house, and I have my time away for me to do what I enjoy. We'll see how it goes.

Deidre - posted on 08/30/2009

258

45

92

Believe me when I say ... If you guys can afford for u to stay home, u should definately take some more time. Right now is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard because your hormones are going crazy. That means irritations,low tolerance, and extreme mood swings... Trust me, lean on your man when he'll let you and you'll be sure to go the distance.

Richain - posted on 08/29/2009

77

4

3

I am a school teacher who chose to stay home this year with my new baby boy. He is almost 4 months old and I have to admit that there are days when I LOVE it. There are also days when I wonder why I chose to stay home with him. I have found that "stay at home" doesnt suit me... we spend several days a week running errands and going to play groups just so we (I) can get out of the house. For him, its just another place to sit/roll around. For me its a chance to get with other moms who "stay home" and have adult conversations so I can fill the missing space that I used to have. I know that when he gets older there will be more things for us to do together but right now it is tough to find out place. Hang in there... and give it some time. I am commited for the school year. Teaching will be there next year if I decide to go back.



I am also in the process of checking out a few mothers day out and drop-in places just so I can have a couple of hours a week to myself. Even though my husband has daddy duty in the evenings when he comes home from work, it really isnt "me" time when I can hear the little one crying or fussing. I just want to help him out and its hard to let him work though it. I dont think I have made the wrong choice yet.



My advice is to find some play groups... baby wearer groups... library story times... and other activities that would get you both involved with other babies and mommies. It may make it a little easier. I know it has helped me to adjust to the Stay at Home lifestyle.

Sabrina - posted on 08/29/2009

62

22

2

I would definitely give it more time. It's a huge adjustment for everyone. I've been a SAHM for almost 5 years now. At first it was very hard. Because I went from being a f/t RN with huge responsibilities to being at home with even more responsibility. I find that I am even more busy now, but in a good way.
I have settled into my new role and love every minute of it. I'm not sure really if I will return to nursing. Only time will tell. For now, I am going to enjoy being home with my boys. It feels good to know that my hubby & I have control of how they are raised. When my oldest was in daycare, we had a horrible experience. Fortunately, my mom was able to take care of him. My hubby & I agreed that when our second arrived that I was going to stay home. It's financially hard. But it is so worth it. I wouldn't change a thing.
There was so much I missed with my first, that I got to see with my second. And that hurts alot. But I am here now and just loving life. Take your time and enjoy the moment. They are that small only once. It's hard, but worth the struggle. Take care :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms