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DeAnne - posted on 12/11/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Our 18 year old son is ADHD and having a hard time away at college. He doesn't tell us much but we know his grades are bad. We also worry about his ability to make connections with good relationships. He has always felt shy in this area. Has anyone out there been there. We have him on focus meds and pursuing help for him. We worry because he appears depressed. He mentioned " I feel like a screw up"! My husband and I told him he was not a screw up! My husband said just because you made mistakes - which you call screw ups doesn't define you as a "screw up"! Help!!

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Michelle - posted on 12/13/2012

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most colleges have a free counseling services for students he could go for a visit and get and objective opinion and maybe some help focusing on whatt is causing him to feel like a screw up. Its in his own perception of himself and the truth is your his mom in your eyes he's never gonna be a screw up he needs to hear it from others who find value in him maybe attending a couseling session will help out

Sunitha - posted on 12/12/2012

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dont worry....he will learn to cope with your encouragement and love...its tough for anyone, leave alone for anyone who has a challenge...but there are so many who have made it good in similar circumstances...you could always enrol him closer home...so that he can attend college from home..see how it goes...but dont worry...some day the chicks have to fly out...

Cassie - posted on 12/12/2012

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I agree with Sarah. My daughter has ADD/ADHD and her step father doesnt quite understand what is entailed in taking care of a child with this. He may very well feel that he doesn't have the support away from home that he did before. Does he have to live away? Can he commute? It may be easier on him if he could be at home each night with the help of his parents and siblings if he has any.

Sarah - posted on 12/12/2012

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I have not had experience with this because my children are all still very young and at home. But my opinion would be that maybe if he is living too far away from home, that maybe the distance is causing some of his doubting himself. If he did fine in high school because you and his dad were there to help through the rough times that ADHD can provide, then maybe he should go to a college closer to home. Maybe start at a 2 year college and then transfer later. I know teens fresh out of high school want to be away from home and experience life and such, but not every teen is capable of that. They need a slightly smaller leash. If there is a college closer to home that has dorms, then maybe that would work as well. Give him the opportunity to live and function by himself, but the ability to drop by whenever he wanted to your home and get help with focusing on school work. Hope this helps a little. Remember, just my opinion and I have no experience. Also, your son may be closer to you than I am guessing. Good luck.

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