none

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

I take these comments as passive aggressive, so I usually give back the same thing and say something like this:
"Oh I totally understand. A lot of women just don't have the organizational skill and self discipline to be successful stay and home moms."
Sometimes I leave it at that and walk away, sometimes I go on.
"Some people just don't have the discipline to do what they need to do without their boss pushing them in the right direction, and it is so much easier to have a daycare or nanny handle all the difficult socialization and discipline challenges of the children."

I don't dislike working moms. I know it is best for a lot of families, and I respect mothers who choose to work, as long as they respect that I choose not to. I'm only a B to the ones who make rude comments.

Sometimes I'll expand and talk about the volunteer work I do within my community, and explain how I get the same adult interaction there that they get at work, but I get to do something truly meaningful and fulfilling. I talk about the latest book I've read and the in depth discussion I had about it with the women in my book club. I mention the story times, museums, parks, zoos, and other venues I've been able to experience with my child, where he also gets the same education and socialization her child will get running around in a confined room with 12 other kids and a caretaker hoping she earns enough to pay the bills this month.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

11 Comments

View replies by

Heather - posted on 08/16/2013

8

8

2

As a SAHM, I know how much we do. But it's not hard figure out where people get this idea that all SAHM's are bored and lonely...just look around these parenting forums and there are many, many posts by SAHM'S saying they are bored, lonely, wishing for adult conversation, unhappy, tired of being the maid for no appreciation, the list goes on.

Grace - posted on 08/14/2013

14

0

2

SAHM MOTHERS ARE HAPPY AND BLESSED. We have time to research and know a lot things...lol (life skills)

Lillian - posted on 07/28/2013

38

0

0

Hello I ma a sham and I never finish high shcool I have 8 kids my oldest. Is 16
And my youest is 7 months I have 4 boys and 4 girls it's hard I know what ur saying I never get out and I don't drive my husbend is in shcool and working all the time I'm still young I'm 32 and I gust feel like I need to go back to shcool or something but my husbend thinks I should gust stay home I love being a sham but it wold be nice to get out some adult time once and awhile

Sarah - posted on 07/23/2013

2

14

0

I remember my older daughter's first Girl Scout troop leader emailed me with the news I was cookie chair because I was the only one that didn't have anything to do all day. Um, I may not have a job outside the home, but I do not just sit on my butt eating bon bons....

Kelsey - posted on 07/23/2013

103

6

8

Hi Jill,
I have learned that some people are rude, have loud mouths with no filters, and in-considerate. I have learned that some people really do not care what they say,even if it could offend you or your beliefs. My ex-boyfriend and his mother, and his dad, all have very big mouths. They would leave any comment open ended, not really intended for an open discussion. They all are perfect in leaving "remarks".
I pretty much left him (them) because of it. Everytime I would hang with them....i'd come back home regreting for not speaking up on behalf of my true feelings/beliefs.

If this lady is not someone you do not talk to often, I would let it slide. But if you interact with her more, I'd just learn to speak up for yourself. Dont be ashamed of your own feelings or beliefs. These people do not care one bit about holding back anything, so neither should you. It's up to you how you want to go about replying to comments you do not like....I never wanted to come off as being a smarta$$ or to stir up anything. But I regret it totally now, and think back about all the arrogant and rude comments I had to hear.

I agree with Kelly...if you do not want to come off rude, I have read passive-aggresive is the best way to deal with difficult people.
Good Luck, hope this helped. Don't let it get to ya too much-- just realized how inconsiderate some people just are. They world is not full of people like you and I.

Charity_knox - posted on 07/22/2013

289

1

60

Oh I love it when someone says " I just couldn't stay home all day".... Well just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean you stay home all day everyday goodness like we are confined to the house or something.

[deleted account]

It happened again- a family member who is about to have her first baby texted that she's just not sure if she wants to stay home or not, and that it comes down to that she thinks relationships outside of the home are important so she thinks she will keep her job. Where does this perception come from that SAHM's do not have outside relationships or do not think they are important? There are so many other outside places and outlets that I have relationships from! Why does one have to have a job outside the home in order to have outside relationships? This is so crazy that 2 people in 3 days have said this- makes me think more people must think this about sahm's- so frustrating. She also said she thinks its important for her child to have interaction with other kids. Well, me too! But I don't have to put mine in daycare to get that- they have playdates, playgroups, cousins & lots of friendships.
Anyone have any advice for good responses to this nonsense? I think working or staying home are to each their own and i dont want to hate on each other for it. i want to foster understanding. Thinking that might not be possible.

Ann - posted on 07/22/2013

133

0

25

I totally agree! with what Dehra said, and its hurtful. When people ask what I do I say i'm a SAHM, and they just give you "that look" like, "oh, that's it?" Sorry I'm not superman, but i'm SUPERMOM. We do so much for our families staying at home with our kids that people who aren't SAHM can't even comprehend. I would LOVE to see those who judge us on what we do, do it for a day, and keep up with us. :)

Charity_knox - posted on 07/21/2013

289

1

60

"It is truly the hardest and least appreciated job in the world" SO true Dehra!
I have heard it over and over some people have this vision of SAHM like we lay around the house and get pedicure all day and spend our husbands money. I wish I could get time to go pee without an audience or take a freaking nap. Being a mom is one of the most important jobs in the world. Raising the next generation!

Dehra - posted on 07/21/2013

37

13

2

A lot of people think that being a SAHM is just the land of luxury and relaxation. I am very proud of the fact that I have been on both sides of the coin I am a SAHM and I have been a working SINGLE mother It make me angry that mothers who work for a living think that SAHM only have their children to interact with and that all a SAHM can talk about is their children. I have wonderful SAHM friends who are not only Excellent mothers but are constantly using their brains for other things that don't have any thing to do with Poo-Poo and Puppies. It's unfortunate that we as mothers cant support each others decisions weather you work for a living or not. But I will say this one last thing.... I bet that same women could not do what us SAHM moms do everyday. It is truly the hardest and least appreciated job in the world.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms