Normal or depression?

Courtney - posted on 10/16/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So I have only been a sahm for about 6 months and i'm finding it hard to cope with everything. First is the fact that i'm not bringing any money into the house. I feel like I'm not doing my part and i know that i'm doing a lot by keeping the house clean and cooking and raising the kids, but it seems like i should be doing more. My fiance is very supportive of me being home with the kids, and he also doesn't mind if i want to go back to work, so that's nice. I kinda miss being interactive with other adults, but i absolutely love being with my kids. Also i've been extremely emotional these last 2 months, everything makes me cry and i'm not sure why. I've never been that way before, i've always had "tough skin" but now the littlest thing will make me breakdown in tears. And there are times when the kids are both fussing and my fiance is trying to talk over them and I can't seem to do anything, i just have to lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes to calm down. Then i feel like a bad person for not being able to handle it. I guess I'm just not sure if this is normal or if I am suffering from depression?

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Kelina - posted on 10/17/2011

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oi would say that sounds pretty normal to me. I found that getting out of the house more often really helped me especially if it was for a walk or some adult conversation. Also remember to take some you time every week. You've just taken on the hardest job in the world! it's difficult to adjust. However, if you are finding that you're having a hard time connecting with your kids, smiling and laughing feels like your face hasn't done it for a while, that trying to get out of bed in the morning feels like you'd rather stick your feet in ice water, or doing any form of physical exercise seems like the worst idea in the world to you, you could be suffering from depression. And either way i'd go talk to your doctor. It could really help.

Montana - posted on 10/17/2011

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Its normal, dude. It comes and goes. Being a parent is tough, People dont prepare you well enough though Im sure theres no such thing as prepared anough when it comes to kids. In my experience it gets better as they get older... still hard but better if that makes sense.

Michelle - posted on 10/16/2011

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Some of it is probably just adjusting to being a SAHM. You are contributing, as you know with house keeping etc. From the child care point of view, think about how much day care would cost you. Two things to thing about. One is that if the job you would take isn't going to cover daycare, added transportation costs, etc is it worth it to work. I've had people tell me that by time they paid for day care they had about $80 a month left in their check. I had one mom tell me she lost about $200 a month by working (but also that she hated the very idea of being home with her kids all day every day). So things are a little different for everyone. Second thing to think about is what your financial contribution is. You may not be bringing in money but you save your family a lot of money that you would be paying out (daycare etc). That's cash in your family's pocket too. Now the other stuff you were talking about may actually be PPD. Talk to your doctor to be sure. It sounds like it gets in the way of your day to day life.

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I would say normal. I've been home for over 5 yrs and still want to hide come the end of the day when moods are crashing. Your not a bad person for wanting to hide, just human. There are good days and bad. It's not easy because you are doing the most important job you ever could and its the hardest in the world. I read onetime that being a SAHM to 1 child is the same as working 1.5 fulltime jobs. In my case times that by 3 and I have 4.5 fulltime jobs UGH lol depressing numbers!

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