Not ready to leave my baby (3 mo.) with anyone else...

Dedra - posted on 04/21/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My baby is just about to turn 3 months old. My husbands bday is coming up quickly and wants me to go with him to a bar for a concert of a band we have seen many times before we had kids. My little girl is our first child, and I'm really not feeling comfortable leaving her with my MIL, or his 17 yr old sister. My family is out of state which makes things even more difficult. I just don't trust anyone else with her yet. Not to mention she is having a hard time taking a bottle. Last night was our first successful try, but still was breast fed when the bottle ran out. Am I way out of line in my thinking and need to relax, or do I trust my instincts which say nobody is ready yet?!?!

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Tracy - posted on 04/22/2010

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If you feel that your baby will in any way be harmed by your absense then don't leave her. It is normal to feel a sense of worry when you leave your child in the care of others for the first time. Do you think that your distrust of your MIL is deserved? Is she of poor moral character, or is she in any way incompetent to care for your child? Even for a few hours? Perhaps you are being too hard on her? If you think that might be the case, invite your MIL over and watch her interact with your baby while you are at home with them. If you still feel she is incompetent then maybe you should wait another few months before going out. Sometimes we feel that nobody else can give our babies the same kind of care that we can, and truly, nobody loves them as much as we do, but I would think a loving MIL would be a great choice to babysit. If you wait a few more months before going out with your husband, will you come up with other reasons why you shouldn't use a trusted babysitter? Will you find any excuse to stay home with your child? I think your relationship with your husband is worth at least trying to see if you could have a night out with him. If all the red flags are going off however, you will only make the night a disaster and it would be better to stay home. Maybe you could fix him a nice dinner at home, and once the baby goes down to sleep, you could play some quiet music and dance!

Decolua - posted on 04/22/2010

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I just think it is one of those thing parents eventually get over. It is always hard the first time. You can do trial things like... Let the 17 yr old if she wants to watch hi
for 30 mins. Then bump it up every week or with someone else you would rather watch the little one. The more you do it you might realize there is nothing to worry about. Things happen even when mommies around! I am sure the first time yu won't have fun. Aand would rather be back home with the baby. You never know until you try.

Katrina - posted on 04/22/2010

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no trust your instincts!!! My youngest of three just turned 4 months and I just left her with her father for an hour while I ran out to the store... I felt like crap and the whole time and was missing her like crazy. He will be fine, it's you that will hurt. Don't do it until you are ready especially if your uncomfortable with who you are leaving him with. However I did leave her with her father I am not ready to leave her with anyone else yet and will not until I am ready! It's a rule with me that they will not spend the night with anyone until they are a year old...(I dont want to miss out on anything, they grow and change so much, so fast)Plus if you go and want to be home you wont have a good time anyways and will bring down your husband, so let him go guilt free and have a good time without you.

On the hand that he's not taking a bottle to well, try letting your husband give it to her. He's used to you feeding him and holding him in a certain way while you are nursing.

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