Not sleeping in her crib..

Mandy - posted on 01/06/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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So, my daughter [who just turned 1 year old at the end of December] is usually always a bit fussy about sleeping in her crib, but usually will sleep in it without much problem once she finally decides she is tired enough to go to bed [unfortunately that usually always seems to be REALLY late, as in 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning..she hardly ever goes to bed anytime before midnight regardless of whether she takes naps during the day or not]. Well. lately she has been going to bed really late as usual and waking up around 5 or 5:30 in the morning and refusing to lay back down in her crib. We bring her into bed with us and let her lay with us and she is completely asleep, but as soon as me or my husband take her in to lay her in her crib she will start screaming and crying OR she will lay there and sleep for like 15-20 minutes and THEN starts screaming and crying. We usually leave her to cry for a few minutes to see if she will go back to sleep, but she usually just stands up in her crib screaming and crying until we go in and get her out again. It may sound awful to say [and I know there will be some who totally disagree with me for this, but keep in mind we are all different people and have different styles of parenting] but I don't want our daughter sleeping in bed with us. It isn't that I don't want her to sleep with us because of course I love being next to her and just generally love spending as much time with her as I can...BUT I've never been comfortable with the idea of her sleeping ALL night in our bed because I'm afraid of all the things that could happen to her while we sleep. My husband and I share a really small bed which is barely even big enough for the 2 of us, and that makes me extremely paranoid about her sleeping in bed with us all night. I have no problem with letting her sleep with us until she is asleep enough to lay down in her crib, but I just can't ever sleep thinking about what could potentially happen if she stayed in our bed and we both fell asleep, so I usually just lay there awake while she is in our bed. Yeah maybe i'm just crazy or paranoid or whatever, but I just don't ever want anything to happen to her. For the past few nights, she has been waking up crying at like exactly 5:15 a.m. after going to bed at like 1:30 a.m...so my husband goes to get her and she lays in bed with us for a little bit or on the living room floor with one of us, then we put her back down in her crib when she is completely asleep and immediately she starts screaming and crying and standing up in her crib. The only way she will go back to sleep is if one of us lays on the living room floor or in bed with her for the rest of the night, so this basically ends up meaning that my husband and I pretty much get to spend barely 3 hours each night/day being able to sleep in the same bed together! I really want her to be comfortable with sleeping in her crib. Truthfully, her sleeping habits have also been deeply affecting the amount of time my husband and I get to spend alone together. She goes to bed SO late every night, and by the time we finally get her to bed we are both SO tired and just want to sleep ourselves..not to mention he also works a lot of early morning shifts, so by the time we get her to sleep he just needs to get enough sleep before going to work that morning and with what she has been doing lately we barely get to sleep in the same bed together anymore. Of course I love my daughter with all my heart, but I also want to be able to have the intimate time with my husband too at times. I'm a bit scared of how it could eventually hurt our marriage. I want her to be comfortable with the idea of sleeping in her crib. I've tried doing a bedtime routine with her of giving her a bath before bed, trying to feed her cereal, then turning off lights and everything to let her know it's bed time but it just doesn't always work and most of the time she'll still stay awake really late. I feel like I've tried everything. I've even done the "cry it out" method, but it literally doesn't work. If I just let her cry hoping she will calm down she doesn't, no matter how long I wait, and a lot of times she will just cry so much she makes herself gag and not able to breathe right, so I can't do the "cry it out" method. If she wakes up screaming in her crib and stands up and everything I try laying her back down, rubbing her back, etc etc, but nothing seems to work..when she wants out of her crib she wants out and she won't take 'no' for an answer. Is she maybe ready for a toddler bed? I know she's a bit young, but I just don't know if maybe her sleeping in a bed would make her feel better about sleeping? maybe her crib makes her feel trapped or something? I really don't know. If anyone has any advice, please help! Post here or message me anytime! I know this was an extremely LONG question and hopefully none of it makes me sound like a terrible person at all, but yeah if anyone has any advice I'd definetly appreciate it. Thanks.

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Jennifer - posted on 01/06/2010

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My son started acting like that from day one. I actually held him all night long in a recliner for the first 15mo. The first thing I finally figured out was that he was really uncomfortable sleeping on his back, so I started laying him down on his belly (though they constantly tell you not to) and that would at least give me 15min or so. Finally, when he was 15 mo old my parents took us to Disney world and after 3 days of parks and 3 nights of no sleep, I was so exhausted that I just looked at him and said "lay down, it's not time to get up" and it worked. He actually slept in the crib until morning. I doubt that will work for anyone else, but it is worth a try. A friend of mine had a daughter that hated her crib. At about 11mo., she talked to her pediatrician and he told her to put a mattress on the floor and let her sleep on that. It worked great for her. She was just not comfortable being confined in the crib.

Ashley - posted on 01/06/2010

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Are you giving your daughter a nap during the day? It sounds like she is overly tired at bedtime. And my daughter sleeps with my husband and myself in our queen size bed. Our intimate time hasn't changed, we just changed where it happens at.

Susan - posted on 01/06/2010

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my 11 month old daughter is the same way about sleeping in her crib unless we put her to bed in her swing and she goes completely asleep and then when she does wake up she screams like we have left her somewhere, I dont have the answer cause i want to break her of it I hate the stupid swing..

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