not sure if i should get my tubes tied

Alicia - posted on 01/27/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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i have 2 wonderful little boys that i love more than nething...i just recently had a miscarriage and everyone is asking me if i am gonna get fixed.....sometimes i want to then other times i don't...i love my life the way it is but when i see someone pregnant i want another..not sure what to do...

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Rebecca - posted on 01/27/2010

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Go on a good BC, nuvaring, iud, depo or even the pill and wait 3yrs. If in 3yrs you don't have anymore kids and you don't want anymore then get it done. I suggest looking in to essure though. It's less invasive and better results. This is what i am doing becuase i too have 2 great kids, a2yr odl son and 6month old daughter but i'm 24 and we aren't sure if we want more. So i am doing the 3 year plan. I too want more when i see others pregnant but i love my life the way it is also and i want to give my kids everything and go on trips as a family in a few more years. We also like our financials the way they are but if we were to have another yes we would be fine but it's not in our near future.

Give yourself some time to think it over. A misscarriage is a huge thing. I had one in October and before i had either of my kids i had one. Your mid is foggy for a few months so don't rush this procedure by any means.

Good luck!

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Theresa - posted on 01/31/2010

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I think if you have doubts you shouldn't do it. Why do others always feel it's their business if you get "fixed" or not. We have a #3 tagalong. Her brothers were 9 and 12 when we found out we were preggo with her. We were thrilled since we had tried for several years and finally gave up thinking it wasn't possible. The first thing my MIL said when we told her was "You're going to get something permenant done now right?" Why is that her or anyone else's business. By the way, we didn't and now expecting #4. Haha MIL. :) But again since it's hard to reverse I would make sure that you and your husband are both positive first.

Erica - posted on 01/31/2010

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Alicia - I am so sorry you had to go through a miscarriage :(. I had an Ectopic pregnancy back in 2008 that almost killed me and it took emergency Laparoscopic surgery to fix. Thank God both my tubes were saved. All the Dr's say I'm fine now, but we ourselves have been very unsuccessful in getting pregnant. If it were me, I would spend a lot of time praying about this decision, and a lot of time praying with my husband about it. Like others have said, if you think there's any possibility you want more kids in the future, just don't do it.

Jennifer - posted on 01/28/2010

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I had a nurse practitioner who explained it to me this way. If you cannot think of anything that would make you ever want another child (ie divorce/death of husband and remarry) then it is ok to get it done. If there is one shred of doubt in your head and you think you could possibly one day want another child, then don't do it. It is a permanent procedure and though people try to have them reversed, reversals have very very low success rates.

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Why would people assume that since you had a miscarriage you should get your tubes tied? That is ridiculous and so very rude of your "friends". I am so sorry for your loss and for the insensitivity of those around you. If you are at all unsure about having more children don't choose such a permanent method of birth control. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Amy - posted on 01/28/2010

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If your not yet ready to do a premant fix then look in to a IUD. I have a Murina IUD it is in for 5 years or as long as I would like it is just a doctors visit to get in or out. I love having it there is no worries and it gives me enough time to decide what to do!

User - posted on 01/27/2010

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If you are unsure don't do it. Give it some time.After a miscarriage emotions run high. really think about it before you jump into anything. I have had 4 children and a few miscarriages. I had my tubes tied after my forth baby and I still second guess my decision. Ask your hubby what he thinks it helps to talk about it...

Rebecca - posted on 01/27/2010

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everyone who is thinking of tubes tied versus a man getting done...check out
www.essure.com
It is the newest procedure for women, less invasive then a tubal and just as effective as a vasectomy. This is what i am getting done in a few years and a friend has an appointment to get hers done in a week after her baby is born.

Terri - posted on 01/27/2010

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After talking to a doctor my husband decided it was better for him to have surgery than for me because it is more risky for women. My mother-in-law had her tubes tied and it led to early menopause.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/27/2010

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My husband and I went through a similar period. I was unsure as was he. A year later, as our girls have gotten much older (and easier) we decided and jumped right in for trying for the "last musketeer"! If you have any doubt at all, I would say don't take the chance of having what could potentially be the greatest regret ever!! If the time isn't right, keep up with that birth control and think/pray about it however you handle the big stuff!
Time will tell you what the answer is! But if the jury is still out, I'd say don't make any rash decisions!! No one know what their life will bring in 1, 2, 4 years!!!
Best wishes!! Keep talking it out, and thinking about it!! The answers will come in there time!!
Good luck!

Stephanie - posted on 01/27/2010

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you shouldn't do it if your not sure. you may regret later do your research and make the best decision for you.

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2010

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry too that other people are asking you this. I have boy/girl twins and have thought a lot about this as well. My advice to you is this: if you are not sure, then don't do it. Please give yourself plenty time to greive your miscarriage before you make this decision. Best wishes to you ♥

Kelly - posted on 01/27/2010

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Let me tell you, we had two boys in our early twenties; life was good, I was like you, undecided, I went to a dr. to consult on having them tied and he talked me out of it since I wasn't 100% with it. Then in our thirties we adopted a little girl, and at 36 I had a huge surpise! pregnancy and another beautiful girl. At that point I had them tied, and thought no more about it until at 40 I got pregnant (that's right-its not 100% guarenteed!) and miscarried. Soooo, my advice would be to wait until you are absolutely sure, and then have your husband have it done, because it is much more effective for the man than the woman. When I got pregnant after having tubes tied, I looked into it, and its actually like 1 in 200 women that it happens to. Good luck with whatever you do!

Jocelyn - posted on 01/27/2010

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You could always get an IUD (5 years protection with mirena, 10 years with the copper T)

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