Oh my goodness.

Tori - posted on 07/10/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I am so bored and lonely. I have worked hard all my life and hold a masters degree. And now I am 37 and a stay at home mother of a toddler and a baby on the way. I sit inside all day long and you know cook, clean, play with baby, spend too much time on the web, and well blablabla. I am so bored with my life. I know there is many women who wish they could be in my situation; however, I am struggling. Adjusting to this lifestyle is more difficult than i thought. I thought a stay at home mom walked the mall, joined the gym, and one night a week hung out with her friends for tea, a movie, or dinner. However, that is not my life. When I quit working that also meant i quit having the money I am accustom to therefore, can't afford that lifestyle. and well the mall is an hour away and not that great of a mall, no money for the gym, and the one night a week hang out has failed to happen. I do talk a walk at the park sometimes with the baby but well..... it just does not seem enough. Please advise. thank you

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Jackie - posted on 09/05/2014

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I felt exactly the same! And now I am facing the decision to become a SAHM again. When I had my daughter I went insane with boredom and isolation. I ended up going back to work. But part of me always feels guilty I didn't want to stay home with her. Its hard to give up a career for a SAHM roll for some of us. Can you work part time? Maybe the satisfaction of a career and adult interaction while still spending time with your kids.

What you are feeling now…is what Im afraid of feeling when kid #2 comes :(

Kate - posted on 07/10/2014

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Do they nap? I find that the only time I can usually get to myself is when they are napping. My 2 year old is starting to grow out of it, but I still have her stay in her room for at least an hour of quiet time. I take a baby monitor with me and use that hour to work on projects, hobbies, anything that's not housework. It gives me a little bit of time to maintain the little bit of identity I have left...: p. Maybe try library story time and parks to be able to connect with other moms?

Jmichaels - posted on 07/10/2014

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I understand what you"re going through. My husband's job transferred our family to France when our daughter was 4. I needed to make friends for myself and my daughter who were local and spoke English. Engage in activities for your child and you will make friends with other moms. Try a church group, storytime at the library, go to the park. You might also consider starting a playgroup on your own. Just a short ad in the local paper may put you in touch with other moms who are feeling isolated too. Good luck! Growingmindsproject.blogspot.com

Chet - posted on 07/10/2014

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Make new friends. Find other moms to hang out with. There are other educated, professional woman at home full time. When I was home with just a baby and a toddler the days I spent with other moms and their kids were the ones that went to fastest.

Take your kids to free activities. The horrible truth is that babies and toddlers don't need playgroups or library story time or music class. Their moms need to get out of the house, have a change of scenery, meet other moms, go places that distract and engage their kids while they get a break, etc. If you can't find a group start one.

Find volunteer opportunities that utilize your skills, or start a casual business at home. If you're bored and have the time to put in a few hours a week doing work for a charity or non-profit, or if you can freelance from home around your kids' schedule that could help to pass the time. When we had just a baby and a toddler I worked very part time lecturing at university that was literally down the street. Could you teach a class at a university or community college, or in your home, or through a rec department?

It takes practise, but you can also find creative ways to be active without spending a lot of money. Maybe you don't go out, but host friends at your place. Maybe you don't join a gym, but get together with a group of friends to do exercise DVDs in somebody's basement or free yoga in the park.

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