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Over sensitive 4 and a half year old daughter.

Angela - posted on 10/07/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 4 and a half. She has always been really sensitive, she hates confrontation and if she is rubbed the wrong way, she remains upset and mad for hours. She gets frustrated so easily and gives up. I am not sure how to handle her. My husband and I try to remain patient and talk her though things. For example, everyday is a struggle with her putting on her own seatbelt. She knows how to do it but if something goes wrong then she throws a fit and starts to cry. Everything seems to set her off. Any suggestions on how to handle her during these times?

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completely agree with Angela. my son is like this....some days it is just one blow up after another. and I think it is because they are straddling the worlds between being a baby and getting that kind of attention, and the big boy world of independence ---- and all the emotions that come with this struggle. They want to do everything their own way, in their time, on their own terms....but they still want mommy. they just want you when They want you. I think it is a phase that will eventually pass once they learn to deal with the emotions that are a natural part of growing up. And some just are more sensitive then others.....you probably can't change that, only teach them how to calm themselves and find solutions. We have our son go to this room and find his happy face. and he cannot come out until he can talk calmly. since being separated from me is the worst thing......this usually works. You cannot discuss the issue, or talk rationally with a children in the midst of full blown outburst, so I think the best thing is to remove them from the situation and then ask later how they felt being out of control like that (I think it scares them a bit personally.....which is why they often take it out on You....you're supposed to fix it). Then ask them what they can do next time to be more in control and to help themselves calm down. And remember, sometimes it may not be about what you Think it is about.......they can bottle things up at this age too and then they color outside the lines and Freak Out. but it's not likely about that....that's just what they have used to release those pent up emotions. You have to be a bit of a detective sometimes. Besides, haven't you just wanted to sit down and have a good cry sometimes?

Angela - posted on 10/07/2010

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My son can be like that at times as well, such as wanting to walk a different path then me when we get out of school, and will throw a fit if we dont do it his way. I believe its a stage, because they want their independence and want to be seen as "big kids". Whenever my son(Hes 3 and half) gets into this attitude I try a couple of things. 1. I ask him if he is a baby or or a big boy? He says Im a big boy. I tell him he needs to show me he is a big boy by acting like it and not throwing a fit. If that doesn't work I count to 3 and if he doesnt make an effort to calm down by 3 I send him for a 2 minute time out in his room. I dont know if you believe in time out or not, but this has worked very well with him, he knows if I start counting there will be a consequence.I understand you feel bad but sometimes its just because they cant handle their emotions like we can and so everything upsets them. Hope this helps!

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