overwhelmed stay at home mom

Amy - posted on 02/19/2014 ( 28 moms have responded )

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I have 3 kids. 6, 2 1/2, 1. I feel so overwhelmed. I have laundry up to my eyeballs. My house is a mess. I have no time with my husband. I feel alone. I find there are some days where all of my patience is gone. I feel resentful at times which makes me feel horrible because I love my babies. I live in Canada and this feels like the longest winter ever. I can't even take the babies for a walk, so I am going mad. I don't drive either. I just need to hear from other moms so I know I am not losing my mind. That I am not the only one out there that feels this way

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Adri - posted on 02/22/2014

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You are not losing your mind. I am a homemaker and a student with 3 boys and 1 girl 10, 6, 5, and 3 (girl). I feel as if I am always at my breaking point and I really don't have much help. I cannot talk to my mother because she hasn't accepted my calls in over a year and my two siblings are in messes of their own. I don't really have anyone to talk to except my mother-in-law who is very kind but has no understanding of what being a homemaker is like and advice pertaining to my homemaker situation is probably not the best for me personally. My husband has had to change jobs and now I never get to spend time with him. When he gets home before the kids are asleep I am pretty much pushed aside because they miss their dad and by the time we are alone he falls asleep or we watch t.v. which does not really involve time to connect with each other. I don't feel appreciated by my husband or my kids, I lose my patience on a regular basis, and sometimes I wish I could just run. These feelings cause a lot of guilt because I live for and love my family dearly.

Lauren - posted on 01/27/2016

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I actually just joined this group today because I am feeling the exact same way!! My kids are 6 and (almost) 2 and I can feel myself sink into a deeper and deeper depression as my weeks go on. I have never ending laundry, the smallest house for all these toys & a husband who works 80+ hours a week. I feel entirely alone as my daily interaction consists of reading kid's books, playing on the trampoline, apple juice & fruit snacks. Just know you are not alone. You need to find the "me" time. Easier said than done, believe me..I know. That's all everyone tells me..I need to make time for myself. As much as I know that's true, I can't seem to find balance. I read another post with this same issue, and it mentioned setting "goals" for every day of the week. (I.e. monday-laundry day; tues- finish laundry, start kitchen floors, etc.) I think I may try this just so I can feel some sense of accomplishment...

I really hope things get easier & just know you are not losing your mind nor alone. being a SAHM is a job in itself and the little ones won't always need us ...there is a light at the "end" of the tunnel. (Although I always hope it never ends :/ )

Lisa - posted on 02/24/2014

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does ur 6 yo go to school? If you go online there are a lot of activities you can find for free on education.com and teacherspayteachers.com I con on there and get worksheets for my 4 yo and coloring sheets for my twins they will be three in 14 days I just turned 39. We have had a horrible two months and I understand what it feels like to not have any options. Try pinting out some worksheets you can make it a game and even sit on he floor and let the 6 yo be the teacher. I also have a homeschool room and although most don't have the spac for that if you find a little wall space you can ake a calendar time and a birthday calendar with pictures and decorate a space.

Carrie - posted on 02/17/2016

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I have a 3 boys. 2 are in school 1 stays home with me. Laundry is never ending as well as other household chores and child rearing. School time is a Itty bitty break, but not really, cuz with everything that's needs to be done, school hours just don't give you enough time. By time they get home you've gotta help with homework and by time that's done it's time to start dinner. It can all be so overwhelming. I've learned to have a specific routine. Certain things need to be done by a certain time, including time for my youngest. I set aside time to teach him and prepare him for school, plus arts and crafts and other activities, cuz I don't allow much tv. My house stays clean, cuz I give boys simple chores, like pick up your toys, make your beds, sweep your room, clean off the table, take out the trash, wipe off the sink and toilet when you use them and help feed animals and collect eggs. They don't do them all in one day. Each child does one or two chores a week. Every week I change their chores so they don't get tired of them. They starting to do good with helping out. I also do a 10 minute pick up every morning and every evening before bed. That's just me taking 10 minutes to pick up random things from the floor or putting stuff in its appropriate place and running the duster over tables quickly. I pray for you and hope things are better and hope something I've said helps.

Cheresenecole82cm - posted on 01/16/2016

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Hi, incame across your post when i was googling overwhelmed mothers! I pray that things have gotten better for u, but I can say I feel u! I have 2 boys ages 3 and 1 and i am going thru the exact same thing! Its hard but like u i try to hold it n and not complain! Has it gotten any better?

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Janice - posted on 05/10/2016

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I know exactly how you feel I have two children and I don't drive either, I never leave the house, we never go anywhere, only when I walk them to school, their dad ignores all of us, he yells at us because the house is messy I clean but he just does not understand kids can make a mess so fast. Being a mom is the toughest job especially when you do not have any one to encourage and support you.

Christine - posted on 05/07/2016

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your not alone..... I have a 2 year old suprise daughter. She was my 40th unexpected birthday present after being told I couldnt have children anymore I have a 20 yo son and a 17 yo son . Its hard not to feel resentful some days because my husband and I were looking fwd to finally having the boys get older and us having time to ourselves. So same feelings overwhelmed, laundry, cleaning, cooking and a 2 yo blessing that doesnt even nap, Im not able to work anymore, Abd sometimes go days without having an adult to tk to. My husband works eats and sleeps. I completely feel alone and lonely,and have no idea how to deal with all these different emotions. Ive recently started counseling, so hopefully it will help. Just reading your post helped because I to feel guilty about my feelings. . . Try to feel better.

Keyonna - posted on 04/26/2015

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I came across this post by googing ways to relax and being overwhelmed. Reading your post along with the other mom have inspired me to sign up. I think this would be a positive way for me to vent get advice ans support. Im 22 with a 4 year old boy ans 3 year old girl. My husband is in the militray and we are about to pcs in June. I stay at home all day with my kids who arent in school because they dont offer that here free. When its just me at home my kids just feel like they dont have to listen to me and just act out as soon as their dad walks out the door. I take them outside but my daughter like to run off and I dont have the energy to run after her all the time so i just devcided to stay inside and aviod it all together. I clean for literally nothing because they mess it up two seconds later. I have no patience and comepletly feed up with their behavior. My 4 year old son purposely poops his pants and gets it everywhere when he is angry which levaes me cleaning up poop everyday. I love being able to be around my kids all day but I just need a break.My kids wanted a puppy my husnand went out and got them one and its like a third child to take care of. Im cleaning up his bathroom messes as well and his needing attention also. I tell my husband I need alone time because Im overwhelmed and he gets offended because he thinks I dont want to be around him. But i tell him I just need a break from taking care of the kids and the house just time to tend to myself but he doesnt understand it. Im trying to just hold it in and take it all.

Nikkilee543 - posted on 03/02/2015

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I found this post when I was searching google because I felt the same way as you. I have two kids under 2. Most days I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm online half the day just to see what other people are doing in the world. All of my family lives in another state and my husband has been working long hours and weekends at work. I feel so alone and depressed. I swear if it isn't one of my kids, both of them are crying/fussing/needing a diaper change. I can never get the house completely clean and they don't nap at the same time and I'm up every 3-4 hours at night with at least one of them. I feel like I'm going crazy. I thought hearing about other moms going through it might help, but I just feel bad for all of us now! I LOVE my babies, but I had no idea being a mom was going to be SO hard.

Laura - posted on 02/26/2014

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Amy, my kids are 6, 4, and 10 months, I understand how you feel! I also have a 14 year old step-daughter that lives with her mom, so when she's here, it's complete chaos! I live in the Houston area, so the weather isn't bad for nearly as long, but I have severe environmental allergies, so I can't spend a ton of time outside or I can't breathe at all. My husband travels a lot for work, and when he is home he finds a million things he 'needs' to get done that doesn't involve kids or me, or giving me a break. My 4 year old is extremely high-maintenance, I'm in the process of getting her evaluated for ADHD, possibly ODD, and I now suspect auditory processing problems. Same thing with laundry here, lol! When any of the kids or the baby are up in the middle of the night I am the one who has to get up with them. Which means that if I can't function during the day from being exhausted, I have to carve time out to try and nap when the baby is sleeping and hope the 4 year old sleeps. (Heaven forbid I get to sleep in on the weekends.) And then I don't get anything done during that day. My husband has lots of quiet time in his hotel room while he's travelling but that's never acknowledged. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're definitely not alone!! Try a few 'projects'. Put some masking tape on the floor for a hopscotch board, or a racetrack for cars. Gather some easy recipes for the kids to help make. Another thing I've found really helpful for keeping kids entertained is to divide the mass of their toys into 3 different 'groups', and allow only one group at a time to be out. The other two are in the top of a closet and I rotate them. They almost feel like they're getting new toys every couple weeks--keeps them from getting bored! Do you have a park nearby? Also, I don't know if there are any places nearby that do this in Canada, but the Chick-fil-A I used to live by would do preschool play days on Fridays and have crafts, storytime, and free time for the kids to play on the playground, it was great! Maybe look up to see if anything like that is near you that you wouldn't have to drive to?

Elizabeth - posted on 02/26/2014

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I have a lot of ideas for keeping kids busy if you would like to hear more. The majority of the time I spend on the internet is looking up things to do so I have a pretty good list along with helpful websites.

Michael - posted on 02/26/2014

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I would love to talk about helping u home life not just better. Michael cell 404 642 8699

Amy - posted on 02/24/2014

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My 6 yr old does go to school full-time which does give me a bit of a break. But, as soon as he gets home all hell breaks loose because he and my 2 year old daughter fight constantly. She thinks everything is her s and refuses to share. She hits him too. She also takes toys away from the baby and has huge tantrums if treehouse isn'ton. I try to get them to play nice together and sometimes it work s but then they are at each other again. I'm so exhausted. My son, the 6 year old, had heart surgery when he was born. Before him I lost my first baby boy. He was only 3 days old. When I brought Luca home after his surgery he always slept with me and has ever since. So, every night I have to lay down with him or he freaks out. At that point I am so frustrated because my daughter wants to see me and I can hear the baby crying. I feel like I am being pulled 3 different ways. Many nights when I lay down with him I cry myself to sleep. My husband is great and helps out alot. He gets up in the middle of the night when the babies wake up so I can sleep and he does all the shopping and helps me clean. I can't really complain about that. I just feel guilty allbthr time because they all want my attention and I can't be at different places at the same time. I feel like all I do is yell at them and it makes me feel horrible. I hate that they have to see me like that. Especially when I break down and cry. I dont want them to have a basket case as a mother and that's how I feel lately :'(

Lisa - posted on 02/24/2014

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I have a 4 1/2 yo boy and twin 3 yo girls they are 22 months apart and I get so frustrated because on one hand my husband says I have it so easy but if I try to sleep in he comes into the room in a huff after an our and says its to hard.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/24/2014

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no you are not the only one who feels this way. I also have 3 kids, 4,2 and 5 months. I feel the same way you do and feel horrible. My 4 yr old is very naughty and picks on my 2 yr old all day everyday and my baby crys all day unless I am holding her. I do not feel like there are a lot of school options for my oldest so I send her to my friends daycare across the street once a week. I saw this really good idea somewhere online that helps eliminate boredom. What you do is list an activities on a small pieces of paper and fold them up and stick the pieces of paper in a coffee can or bag. Then pick out x number of cards each day and do whats on the card. In my case I probably have 15-20 cards. I have all the school subjects and other ideas listed such as pretend play, games and ect. I follow pinterest which has a lot of good ideas for just about anything. Hope this helps.:)

Kathy - posted on 02/23/2014

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I know how you feel Amy. We all have really really good days and really bad days. I used to talk to work moms who say oh stay at home moms have it easy they are always so lazy. Like that is true!?! I live in Georgia and the weather is horrible now! I think we all want to move to Florida:-) Hang in there!

Amy - posted on 02/22/2014

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Thank you ladies for responding. It makes me feel better knowing I am not alone. Hopefully when the kids get a bit older I will feel better and not so down on myself all the time. I am 38. I feel old and unattractive lately. I miss the old me, when I used to be bubbly and happy. I weigh about 60lbs
More than I did before I had my second child. It makes me feel depressed. I can't seem to lose the weight and I am so frustrated. I don't recognize myself anymore :(

Charity_knox - posted on 02/22/2014

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I am there with you! I have a 5 year old and 2 year old twins. The monotony of laundry,cleaning and children can be rough. I started a coffee group where moms in the neighborhood get together and the kids play. It has helped. I live 90 miles roundtrip from restaurants or activities so winters are long long. It has warmed up here so I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I must go my massive laundry pile is calling my name. I swear that laundry breeds at night. My laundry room looks more crowded in the morning:)

Joleen - posted on 02/22/2014

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You are not alone! It's so hard feeling isolated especially. We only have 1 vehicle, so we're pretty much stranded during the day too. Do you have any friends you can chat with to break up the day or do you know any other moms in your area? Sometimes just a quick phone call, text or email can do loads to help you know you're not alone!

Morgan - posted on 02/20/2014

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I'm feeling overwhelmed too. My kids are 7, 4, and 6 months. It's been too cold to take my kids out. I'm trying to do activities with them once a week. My baby is breast fed and super clingy. He only sleeps when I hold him, so I feel like I can't get any think done. It's the first decent day (even though it's pouring rain) and I can't find my wallet with my bus pass to even go any where. I just want to scream!!! I'm going to a movie tomorrow. It will be the first time I've been away from my 6 month old. I'm looking forward to it, but I just don't feel like it will be enough.

Tanya - posted on 02/20/2014

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I find doing the extreme opposite of how I feel. When feel sad I do for my family something really fun. Turn it around. Think of things that would just make your family grin from ear to ear.And put off that laundry 1 more day. You will feel better and so will they.

Ashley - posted on 02/19/2014

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I know exactly how you feel. And if a mom tells you that they never feel that way then they are lying. I feel resentful all the time. My resentment isn't toward the kids but my husband. He gets to go have fun and have friends and a social life and why I'm at home feeling like I'm in jail. So your not a lone not at all.

[deleted account]

No problem ! I have my days too , but like i said .. Take it one day at a time . Youll be fine , trust me :) it may be hard now , slowly but surely itll get better and easier for you . And most of all im sure you're a wonderful mother to your kids .

Amy - posted on 02/19/2014

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Thank you Jaye. I have my good and bad days and try my best. Today was a not so great day. I just want to be the best mom and bot have my kids see me tired and frustrated. I want to enjoy them

[deleted account]

Hang in there . It's okay to feel the way you do . It can be real frustrating when theres so much to do . But Itll be okay , just take one day at a time . And know how much your babies appreciate all that you do :)

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