PLEASE HELP HELP HELP!!!!

Kim - posted on 06/03/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hello, I am a stay at home mom. I quit my job when my frst son was about 5 months old because I feel that babies NEED their mommy and mommy NEEDS baby until school age. After I stopped working I decided to go to school full-time online so I don't have to leave. I just gave birth to my second little boy Kaden on May 20th 2010. My soon to be 17 month old Keoni is beginning to become unmanagable for the last 4 or 5 days and it is getting worst. I am trying to spend as much time with him as possible and involve him with the new baby but he is still getting worst. With the economy my husband has 3 odd ball jobs and his teaching job. Therfore he is not home much. Don't take me wrong he is a great help when he is home and he helps out during the night. Does any body have an tips to help get through this?

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Kelina - posted on 06/03/2010

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You said he is helpful but he has tantrums. Well that's to be expected since he's not the only one around anymore and he has someone who he has to share mommy with. I would recommend not giv ing in to the tantrums though. If you can, put him somewhere he can't hurt himself and let him throw his fit where there is no one to watch him. When he's a little older, let him know that when he's ready to use his words, then he can come out. It works wonders. Good luck and congrats!

Kim - posted on 06/03/2010

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Hi Hayley,
Yes my in-laws live across the street, my father-in-law comes over fairly often to lend a hand. Well, he did Since baby Kaden arrived he has only been over 2 or 3 times. I can't understand how this works. When I had my first son it was all I could do to get people to stop comming over and now I can't get anyone to come over.

Kim - posted on 06/03/2010

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HI, Donnie
Thank you. I like how you called him Master Keoni because that is so very true. Keoni is very involved he is at the age where he wants to help. He has a little red chair and every diaper change he will go get his chair pull it to the changing table give me a diaper a wipe then after he will put the dirty diaper in the pail. He also helps me to burb Kaden scine I am bfing he can't really help me with that but he will sit on my lap while I am nursing. It is the tantrums that are getting to me. You are excaltly right Keoni is a whole new person now and it will take time to figure things out. Thank you so much for the feed back.

User - posted on 06/03/2010

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do you have any family that live near you or good friends that could give you a little break during the day, even having adult company for a while during the day might help you

Dionne - posted on 06/03/2010

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Hi Kim,

First off, congratulations on the birth of your new son, Kaden, and Happy 2 weeks to the little guy today. It sounds like Master Keoni's jealous side has come to the surface and that once sweet baby is someone totally new. He's not getting your full attention anymore and he's not liking it one bit. The first thing to remember is that this is normal and his acting out will subside eventually. Try to get Keoni involved with his new little brother. When you're changing Kaden's diaper, have him fetch the diaper or wipes. Take it slowly, and he will eventually come around.

When Kaden is down for a nap (and you're not too wiped out), spend some alone time with Keoni and let him know that although there's anew baby in the family, he's still an important part of the family. Have you heard of the book "I'm a Big Brother" by Ronne Randall and Kristina Stephenson? This helped me prepare all my sons for the arrival of their little brothers. There will be days when it will all go to crap, but believe me, Keoni will come around. Just make sure to keep him involved. Repetition is the key.

I wish you all the best as you embark on this new journey with your 2 boys. I will check back for updates. Take care, and be well.

Dionne :o)

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