Please Help Me My Daughter is Hurting Herself!!!!

Laura - posted on 06/12/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )




I am in need of advice urgently. My Daughter is 16 months old and has started headbutting. She will do it if we growl at her for touching things that she knows she is not allowed to have for example Grandma growled at her when she went to close to the fire, Miss Grace turned around put both hands on the coffee table had two practice runs and then banged her head on it!!!At the start it seemed that it she only did this when we growled at her but she does it when she falls over or if a toy is not doing wat she wants it to do!!!! She will bang her head anywhere and on anything. It got to the worse recently when she gave herself a blood nose...i am very worried she will really hurt herself.

I have spoken to so many people and have tried everything. I've tried giving her a smack on her hand when she does it, i've tried ignoring her, picking her up and placing her in the play pen, putting my hand under her there something that i have missed? What else can i do to stop her? Everytime she does it i feel sick, the sound her head makes when it hits the floor is horrific!!! I have thought about getting her a foam helmet, only to protect her tiny little head, but i need help trying to figure out how to STOP her from doing it!!!

Oh i do hope someone can help me i'm all out of ideas!!!!




Valerie - posted on 06/12/2010




Hi Sweetie,

I'm so sorry your going through this. 16 months seems to be the right age where they are testing you to get what they want. But its hard to say, (I don't want to worry you) cause it could be a disability as well. Have you tried getting her attention, by sending her away from the object that she wants? Set a kiddie table for her and set some things that would be new to her (a play spot) don't have to use the table, a spot in the living room floor would be good, just somewhere you can see her.

Another thing that just came to me....when she hits her head... it could mean that she is upset with herself cause someone growled at her. But its also the age of experiancing. In the 'ol days...I remember the saying "If they do something that they aren't supposed to touch/do, let them....its the only way to learn!" Sometimes its iffy now days cause can get sued for anything...right?! *giggles*
As a Mom...we do things that we have to do. We can't do everything and our children will learn one way or another.

As a Teacher's Aide for Life Skills...we had one student who was 16 with a 16 month old brain. And he did the same thing your daughter did. Banged his head on the floor, table, chair or anything that he could banged his head on. We made firm "No's" to him and got upset with us and started banging his head. Our thing was...we had to keep him busy and when we did...we had success at times.

I hope this will somewhat helps. I wish you the best of luck!


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Laura - posted on 06/12/2010




Hi Girls thankyou for responding!! She communicates very well..she understands alot of things that we ask her to do for example when she has a drink we ask her to put her cup back on the table and she toddles off and does it. I'm pretty sure that it is the age she is at and the frustration and often guilt she feels when she has been told not to do something...i try to distract her with her books and toys. The only other thing i can think of is to grab her right before she does it and then distract her...but i'm not giving in to her wanting to get her own way and there are things that she is not allowed to have and she'll just have to learn to deal with that...oh and i forgot to mention how she smacks people, other children and objects!!! I am starting to think that i have myself a little miss attitude LOL...

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Both my girls do that. it seems to be when they are frustrated and I just dont seem to understand what they want. of course then we play a million questions and try to redirect. My oldest is 3 and has really grown out of it but my 14 month old still does it. once my 3 yr old was able to talk better she stopped because I understood her.

Vanessa - posted on 06/12/2010




how is she with communicating? my son is 2 years old and he throws horrible banging himself up against things temper tantrums! it is a scary thing but sometimes they do it for attention, or to geth their way. We recently found out that my son has middle ear fluid and its very hard for him to tell me what he wants and when i dont understand..he gets frustrated.

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