Please no more conversations about Spanking......

Cindy - posted on 04/10/2010 ( 101 moms have responded )

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There have been so many countless conversations started about spanking that I think we can all agree now that the whole subject is all a matter of opinion and that nobody will ever agree with each other, and that it will ALWAYS turn into a huge fight. Who agrees with me on this?

Im not talking about spanking here. I dont want anybody talking about spanking in this conversation.
I am talking about who thinks nobody should post up about spanking anymore?

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Kate - posted on 04/11/2010

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Why even look at a post about spanking, breast vs bottle, or any other that you don't care to bother with? Sometimes the subject of a post is obscure in the title, but when you see what it's about, just move onto something else. Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to participate in it or even look at it. If these posts are ignored, there can't be any hurt feelings or arguments.

Angela - posted on 04/10/2010

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i think people should simply post their oppinions and move on and not keep checking the replys every five minutes just to fight!

Tara - posted on 04/11/2010

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I don't think people should make conversations that begin by judging other mothers. I'm a very good mother, and I know that. I don't need anyone trying to call me names because I choose different ways of parenting. I think people can be easily offended, and I believe that sometimes other people try to see who they can make feel bad. I thought this site was for mothers to support each other and not to judge other mothers because everyone parents differently. This site was meant to help each other not to judge and attack one another, and yet some people find a way to do just that. And yes Angela, why don't you take your own advice on that one, you are guilty of your own judgement there.

[deleted account]

Roxanne was about 9 months when she started eating regular meals with us.......by 11 months she was starting with utensils and now, at 19 months she's pretty self sufficient! I didn't give her much sauce and just chopped up the pasta noodles into small enough pieces that she couldn't choke and she used her lil' pincher fingers to pick them up.......she LOVED it! The independence and self esteem they gain from this experience is wonderful to watch! She was sooo proud of herself! The mess was well worth it!



She also loved steamed, mashed vegetables, grated mild white cheese, small chunks of ripe avocado......pretty much anything you're eating ur son should be able to have as long as you make sure it's small enough and soft enough for him to swallow! Roxanne already had 6 teeth by the time she was 10 months so I think that helped as well! Just ask if you want anymore ideas.......

Sherre - posted on 04/11/2010

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Kate-agreed.
It's aggravating when so many people post the same topics on these forums but then I remember, I have 7 or 8 other groups so what's spoke about in one might not be spoken about in another. As far as the obvious, although people want opinions on such hot topics, sometimes it isn't best to get advice from these sites because they're opinions and not FACTS! I hope everyone will respect one another's parenting and stop bullying eachother :)

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101 Comments

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Cindy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Ok ladies I am now going to close this conversation to any further comments.

[deleted account]

Definitely wanna have a camera handy! LOL!

You can also try yogurt, cottage cheese, almost any whole grain pasta, rice, bread etc.....tofu is another one that Roxanne used to really love! I would cube it and roll it in cheerio dust as a snack!

If you want any ideas for when ur sons older I've got tons....Roxanne definitely isn't a picky eater! Have fun and good luck!

Cindy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Oh cool. Thanks for naming more foods, I definitely want more ideas on this because Like you said it will boost their independance and self-esteem. And yeah Logan also has 6 teeth right now. Good ideas though! I think I'm going to try the spaghetti idea first and then try the others after that.......Who knows maybe soon you'll see a funny messy face picture as my profile picture like yours! :)

[deleted account]

Nikkole: She was pretty pissed at me......she wanted to keep making a mess and I was trying to wipe her face.....LOL! Needless to say she went straight into the bath!

[deleted account]

I'm part of another community called, " Healthy Foods for Kids "......you should join!? There's lots of great moms with wonderful ideas!

Nikkole - posted on 04/12/2010

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lol its a cute pic, she looks so mad. My lil girl is 6 month and at 5 months i started to give her mashed potatos and soft stuff bc ever time i ate she give me arent you going to share look

Cindy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Hey Dana I'm curious what age did u start letting your child eat spaghetti? Because the doctor told us we can start giving our son (he is 9 months old) food from off our plates and such like a little bit of mashed potatos or something mushy or just easy to swallow. And I'm wondering how did u start it too? Did you cut up the peices of Spaghetti into little tiny peices? I really wanna know because I want to start doing waht the doctor told us but I want to know how to start it out?? please answer seriously and honestly...

[deleted account]

SPAGHETTI! Every once in a while I let her cut loose.....LOL! Not the best dinner when they're still learning to use a fork and spoon!

Nikkole - posted on 04/12/2010

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if i do pull my hair out i will put a pic up. dana what did your kid get into? i thought the food was to go into the mouth?

[deleted account]

EXACTLY! Cindy, pretty please close this thread.....it honestly isn't serving any purpose other than to bitch and rehash shit!

P.S...As long as I'm able to I'm gonna keep responding......it's like a bad car crash......no matter how horrific it may be you just can't help yourself but continue to look!

Jessi - posted on 04/12/2010

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Sounds good girls! I agree that on here lots of times since there is no tone or body language you can’t quite tell exactly what a person means. on that other thread for spanking i put my two cents in and what i said got misinterpreted VERY badly by another mom (its been sorted out) simply because with the written word on these forums (when we're probably all busy juggling babies and toddlers in and out of our laps while were writing ) its hard to make it sounds EXACTLY the way you want. no matter if you spank or not we all want the best for our kids, were not going to be there to give them a spank or a time out when they are 19 and in college so now is the time we have and im sure were all using it to the best of our ability the best way we know how, spanking or not! And a whole thread dedicated to not having any more spanking threads isn’t that kind of incongruous?! LOL

Nikki - posted on 04/12/2010

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Just ignore it Cindy, if she has noting better to do than worry about how much you contribute then good for her. Don't let it get to you, she is probably just trying to start something.

Anna - posted on 04/12/2010

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i wish the conversationas about spanking breast vs bottle n the like would go away because they ALWAYS end in fights and they take up space of moms with real isues and other convos that dont end in fighting and bunched up panties. chill out people come on its not that serious. Whats right for ONE might not be right for SOME.

Cindy - posted on 04/12/2010

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@NIKKI: Hmm well because some lady said something to me saying that I dont contribute anything helpful to the spanking conversations. Usually I'll go on it and say one thing like "Oh crap another one of these conversations" .....And a lady said to me why do you only post up one thing and not contribute anything helpful.



SO That is why I decided to join in the conversation. PLUS i dont argue in those convos anyway. I find it pointless.

[deleted account]

Nikki: thank goodness you came to my rescue......I was wondering where you were?! LOL!

Nikkole: LMAO! I'm glad you decided to not pull ur hair out! If you ever do PLEASE post a pic to show all the moms what can happen if you take COM too seriously!?

And I LOVE what Nikki said......" Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me! ".......Na, na, na....POO POO! Hahaha! Roxanne is gonna be home from her play date soon so thankfully I'll have a distraction from this damn computer! Take care ladies!

Nikki - posted on 04/12/2010

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I just checked out the "smacking continued" post Cindy and Beck if you guys are so over these posts why still participate in them? I don't mean to offend you both, just interested to know.

Nikkole - posted on 04/12/2010

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hey dana i still have my hair, i got to thinking i would look funny with hair missing in spots

Nikki - posted on 04/12/2010

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I just have one question....Why read them! There are always going to be new mums on COM, these subjects will continue to be debated over and over and over. Yes personally I am over breast v bottle, smacking v no smacking and my biggest pet hate of all "how much cereal should I put in my 3 days old's baby bottle!!" I just don't read them any more, any mother has the right to debate these issues on this forum, but you are not forced to read them.
There was once on here a while ago where my feelings got hurt and I thought about it and decided why should I spend my time being upset, this is not high school, I don't care what some mother half way around the world thinks of me, I am a good mum, I just laugh at the crap now, and appreciate the good comments. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me!

[deleted account]

Stop laughing at me! LMAO! What the hell is soo funny? I feel like my head is gonna pop off going back and forth between these two conversations! Bahhh.....

Thanks Beck! I'm always smiling! I'm glad we're ok!

Beck - posted on 04/12/2010

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Dana and I have agreed to disagree on this one and I'm happy with that :) Keep smiling Dana you are still bringing light into these conversations :)

[deleted account]

We do! Agree to disagree that is! LOL! Beck made a comment directed at me specifically and I just responded and pretty sure I even apologized to her BUT you were the one who brought it up and asked, " Who said you were labeling them? " so I answered ur question.....that's it, that's all! I'm not here talking about spanking and I'm certainly not here to try and change anyone's mind!

Cindy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Thats good. Yeah I mean it's just all a matter of opinion. You think its child abuse......But some people dont. Nobody is going to change anybodys mind by basically saying they think their way is the only way. Everybody does everything different, and we should just agree to disagree.

[deleted account]

I said that I felt that smacking or spanking is, IMO, child abuse and Beck and some of the other moms felt that I was calling them " Child Abusers "......that's what Beck and I are refering to! She said some stuff, I said some stuff.....neither one of us is offended so it's all good! YAY US!

[deleted account]

Oh, we are! ;)

I should apologize to you also......I made a pretty general statement and I'm sorry if you felt that I was labelling you?!! That wasn't my intention.....I'm not here to judge!

Cindy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Mary this convo isn't about Spanking, It's about who is tried of the subject being talked about and argued about way too much. So please dont put up anything about that in this conversation because I dont want anybody getting into fights over that. Please dont be offended by that I'm just letting you or anybody else know. :)

If you would like, there is a thread where you could post up that sort of thing it's Called "Spanking continued....." Post up your opinions about spanking in there because this conversation isnt about that like I said its about who is also tired of the subject of spanking being talked about and argued about.

Beck - posted on 04/12/2010

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Not trying to bring the topic of religion into it but as a helpful thing I found from someone is as a christian mum I give it up to God and look up what the bible says about certain subjects and that is what I have done and it is helping me make the decisions I need to make. I'm not saying this is for everyone but hey if it helps you then go right ahead :) I did start a conversation just before about how the conversations keep being blocked when they are issues people really need to sort out and how are we supposed to support each other if they keep getting taken away. People need to start coming at it from a different point and stop being so passionate and getting their panties in a twist about stuff. I got mine in a twist earlier in the conversation and I apologise for that as it wasn't fair but luckily the lady I was talking to wasn't offended and we are good now (at least I hope we are :))

Please guys just be nice :)

Mary - posted on 04/12/2010

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According to the laws of Pa, you are allowed to spank your child as long as you aren't using something like a belt or any other type of object. When I was younger, my mother though it nothing to tell my father to take his belt off and then we'd have to pull our dresses up, and our panties down and show our bare bottoms and bend over the bed and she'd hit us repeatedly with the belt telling us the whole time the crock of bull that it hurt her more than it hurt us. I personally never believed her. In fact, every time she'd hit me (and I was the one who it more than anyone), I remember feeling hatred rise up inside me and I kept saying to myself, "you just wait, I'll be grown one of these days and I'm outta here and no one is ever going to hit me again." I also remember going to church and hearing ministers preacher preach "Bless God, the problem with today's kids is that they aren't hit enough. Why when I was a boy, my father would take me out to the wood shed and cut a hickory switch from a tree (or sometimes they'd say a strap) and hit us with it and we knew our place back then." Then everyone in the congregation would say,"Amen brother that's right!" I sat there feeling sick to my stomach. I just kept thinking how terrible that sounded. I vowed then and there that no one would ever hit my child when I had one. I tried many other methods for a long time and still use other methods more often than not however, sometimes it's become necessary to spank my daughter. I use my hand and most of the time her pants are up and she still wears diapers (pull-ups) so she doesn't feel it much. My husband spanks my daughter more than I do as I still don't like to do it. I'd rather take away privledges or use the time out chair etc. but if that fails then she does get a spanking. There are several rules to follow when using this method however. The most important being that you should never spank in anger. Always wait till after you have calmed down a bit before deciding if it's still necessary to spank or not. Also, never slap the child across the face or spank the child in front of his/her friends as this is very humiliating. Also, after a child reaches a certain age you should not spank them anymore as this could lead to sexual problems later on in life. Anyway, I talked with the lady from children and youth who came to our house one time on a totally differently related issue and she said that in Pa it is NOT illegal to spank your child if you feel you need to as long as you're not angry at the time and are not leaving any marks or using an object like a belt or anything like that. My husband uses his hand never a belt or anything like that.

[deleted account]

Nikkole: I don't know what you look like now but I bet you'd look funny with clumps of hair missing!? LOL! ;)

Melisa - posted on 04/12/2010

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I agree for the most part that some topics posted over and over get really old. What people seem to be forgetting is you are able to not open the thread and move on. Or even post things that are important to you -- but still expect arguments if they are a strong topic. I think it has been said before but I'll say it again. It is a public forum with people from all backgrounds. Take what you want from topics, and if you don't like it please move on.

Nikkole - posted on 04/12/2010

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i am so tried of this post, and people getting so upset and mean about. if i see one one post about spanking im going to pull my hair out

[deleted account]

OR on the other hand Brittany, the flip side to that is for you to just ignore comments you don't like or don't agree with and move on!? Right? Does that make sense? Everyone needs to take their own advise!

Brittany - posted on 04/12/2010

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agreed. everyone has their own way of teaching their children wrong from right. & NOT ALL CHILDREN ARE THE SAME. obviously. there are some things that work on some children & clearly dont work on others. So people just need to stop labeling others as monsters. Get over themselfs. & face the fact that not everyone agrees with their way of teaching kids whats right.

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OMG! Stevie: putting cereal in ur babies bottle is bordering on child abuse, IMO! LOL! ;) ;)

Cindy: People are just gonna keep commenting until you close the thread so if you're irritated you know what to do? I personally find all of this rather entertaining! LOL!

Stevie - posted on 04/12/2010

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i agree i am tired of hearing moms say i spank my child and then other moms bashing someone or everyone who does or doesnt im tired of reading it why cant we all just get it in our minds some ppl do it and others dont some ppls methods of parenting helps others and some dont thats why they are your method choice of parenting mine wont work for everyone i may agree with spanking or i may not or i may agree with time out or not or yelling or not or maybe i put cereal in my sons bottle or sippy or not simple as that i may have breast fed or might not have or maybe i tried who are you to judge maybe i couldnt it doesn matter my son is still alive and still healthy maybe he isnt talking a ton like others his age may be that doesn mean i dont speak to him or have any time with him what i do with my children works for us i might not do the same for my next child simply because every child is NOT the same and the same methods DONT always work for other kids simple as that i think that if your going to help other moms with their questions then tell them how you did that or how you would handle that certain situation but dont presure them into doing it give them options and advice and dont be pissed just cuz they didnt take it

Leatonya - posted on 04/12/2010

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lol i so agree it gets old seeing they same convos! but i do have to admit i Enjoy reading ppls response :P i like to read the new topics more tho.....~much love to you mommies♥

Christina - posted on 04/12/2010

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i am in total agreeance with you. the topic is a heated topic and has been strung out waaaaaay too long. the sides should agree to disagree and get off of the subject!

Angela - posted on 04/12/2010

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Jennifer im not sure except look in conversations for stay at home moms and thats the title is i need support/advice and i think her name is bonita...besides that im pretty new to this so i dont know how else you find it sorry

Kryss - posted on 04/12/2010

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Ty and i agree but i will say that my post wasnt abt..the unsaid word.It was all around pushy judgemental moms and some moms were putting other moms down...but I have raised my son and very respectful and he actually lived through my raising methods how abt that...i am just tired of the bashing i would like to come and talk abt the other things but seems too much bashing id rather find some nice conversation:)

Lindsy - posted on 04/12/2010

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Oh my gosh this crap sounds like grade school fighting. get over it who cares what someone thinks about u or the way u parent. what matters most is what u think of yourself and is your child happy healthy and safe.

Angela - posted on 04/12/2010

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ok i have a request from all of you...there is a conversation called "i need some support/advice" that a girl just posted and it is a very serious topic and i think she needs lots of advise and support to stay strong. I dont really know how to get other people to view it but this was the quickest way!! She is in an abusive situation and wants to leave but is having trouble and she has a young son who watches her get abused...please go visit the conversation and help her out! thank you!

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