Postpartum depression?

Brittany - posted on 04/29/2017 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Ok so I had my baby almost 11 weeks ago.. My emotions have been stable for the first 6 or 7 weeks after giving birth.. Then my period came and my emotions were heightened! I started being a beast to everyone including my kids and my husband.. Then my period ended and I was fine.. Then a couple days ago, my husband told me that his parents offered to take him to Africa with him and pay for everything! They didn't even ask me to go with! Yeah we do have 3 kids and we could find a sitter if we both were to go! But nope it would cost too much if they were to take me too! Fyi, I am a stay at home mom, and having him gone a whole week would also be really hard taking care of 2 kids and a baby by myself..I feel so heartbroken that my husband is fine with going without me! I have been so deeply depressed since he told me.. I'm Crying all the time and getting upset with my kids because I just hurt so much emotionally.. I did make a big deal to my husband and his parents about the Africa trip.. And they make me feel I'm in the wrong and I should let him go since its a once in a lifetime opportunity.. Yeah I get it.. I would love to go to Africa too if I had the chance but I wouldn't leave without my husband.. Now I feel like I'm overreacting and that I shouldn't feel this way.. I feel so numb right now! I just feel like leaving and never coming back.. I feel like everyone's life would be better off without me.. The thing that is keeping me from leaving are my kids.. I've never felt this way before.. EVER.. I don't know what to do or what steps I should take.. Should I call my OBGYN? Any advice would be much appreciated.. Thank you! 😄

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Brittany - posted on 05/21/2017

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Thanks so much Mary! I really do feel better about talking to someone about it! Looks like he is definitely going to Africa in September.. His family, especially his parents, are all on board with him going without me.. I'm still hurt and upset that his parents didn't even offer to take me as well.. His parents are pretty wealthy.. the reason why they don't want to take me is, "that it would cost too much." that was their response when I asked them.. I am a stay at home mom and I too need a little break.. I'm with my kids every day, all day long! I love my kids but they sometimes drive me crazy! lol.. Thank you for your kind words and comfort! :)

Mary - posted on 05/11/2017

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Hi Brittany, I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I had some awful PPD myself. I have a seven month old and it's just now starting to subside, but it will rear its ugly head every now and again. I know it can be frustrating when the father of your children doesn't understand or seem to even try to understand what you are going thru. I would lean on friends or family during this time. When I had my baby, her father was pretty absent the first few months. I had finally had enough and told him if he's going to make me feel so alone, then I would prefer to just be alone since I'm pretty much a single parent due to his absence anyway. I'm not suggesting you give your husband an ultimatum, but maybe switch the roles and ask him how he would like it if it was done to him. Call me old fashioned but I believe parenting should be a joint effort and it consists of sacrifice. Africa may be a once in a lifetime opportunity, but this is also time he will never get back with his kids and is it really worth putting the strain on his marriage. It really isn't fair that his family isn't including you, you two are married and you're a unit. Even if you can't go because you have a three month old, they could have at the very least offered to take you too. It's just respect and common courtesy. I can completely understand why you're upset. Keep your head up and stay strong. Remember, this too shall pass.

Brittany - posted on 05/11/2017

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Thanks Stef! It's just been super hard dealing with my PPD especially when I don't have a very supportive husband. He is going to go to Africa with his parents in September without me. He doesn't understand how I feel about him going. we have 3 kids (7 yo, 4 yo and a 3 month old).. I don't know if I can take care of my kids for a whole week by myself.. and I get really bad separation anxiety. so I know I'm not going to do so well with him on a different continent. I just saw my doctor last week and he prescribed me some Paxil which is for my anxiety and depression. It seems to be helping a little.. But every time him or his parents bring up the whole Africa trip, my depression strikes back! On top of all that, I try and talk to him about my PPD, and he doesn't seem to care what i'm going thru.. his response is, "all depression is the same, I've experience some bad depression before...." He also doesn't really help much with the kids when he gets home from work. He usually goes straight to our room and gets on his phone to watch videos on youtube and once the kids are to bed, he plays his video game on his xbox.. Sorry I just needed someone to vent to.... I'm hurt and depressed, I don't know what to do from here.... :(

Stef - posted on 05/05/2017

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I too am going threw really bad postpartum depression . I'm here if u want to talk.

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